Midlife Dimensions

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Why Won't My Kids Help Me Now That I'm Divorced?

A few years ago when we surveyed University of Illinois students whose parents had been divorced within the last five years, we heard a repeated story. Parents who were unsuccessful in their marriage relationships or were separated or divorced tended to become dependent on their children. One girl sadly related to us how she would hold her mother in her arms and rock her while her mother wept. Another graduate student reported that he was a sort of messenger and mediator between his father and his mother, even though they were divorced and each had remarried. Another girl, recounting incident after incident of parental dependency, said, "You know, I need parents too!"

Your adolescent/young adults should not be given the responsibility of parenting you at this age in their lives. Later on, when you have reached old age, they will probably parent you. But at this stage in their lives, they need to establish independence and their own identity. They should have the opportunity to flower as people without prematurely having to carry the role of parent-caretaker.

  


Conway / Farrel Articles ~    Reprint by permission only,  ©2011

  

Midlife Dimensions ~www.Midlife.com


The Conways and Farrels are international speakers and popular authors.

Midlife Dimensions is a ministry founded by the Conways and continued by the Farrels.