Midlife Dimensions


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In various addictive groups, such as alcoholics anonymous, or gamblers anonymous, there is an understanding of some common factors which set up a person to act out. They can be a leave remembered by using the acronym HALT:

  • Hunger -- being hungry such your mind into a satisfaction mode. For the sexual addict, acting out is almost better than food.
  • Anger -- Unresolved problems with people move addicts into isolation and self pity, justifying their need for their sexual drug.
  • Loneliness -- in our fast-paced life it's easy to be lonely. Being disconnected from people is a major problem for sexual addicts.
  • Tired -- Fatigue often is the prelude of justification for acting out. "I've worked hard, I'm tired, I deserve a little fun, and a little relaxation." So the acting out begins.

The four horsemen are all very normal. It is very ordinary for us to experience these things almost every day of our life, and that's why they are so very dangerous to the sexual addict.

There are other underlying psychological factors which may trigger your acting out, such as experiencing a loss or a disappointment. You were caught off guard you weren't expecting this to happen, but It has. The addicted part of you cries out, "You have been ripped off. You deserve to feel good. I know acting out is bad for me, but a little is okay right now."

Carefully analyze any sexual acting out you have done in the past. Ask yourself, "What was I feeling just before I acted out". As you identify these feelings, then whenever these feelings are repeated you will know that you are likely to be victimized by your sex addiction.

Don't trying eliminate these factors from your life, you can't. Just remembered that they are likely to set to up for sexually acting out. When you experience any of these, then turn to God in prayer. For Example, "God I am tired. In the past when I’ve felt tired, I've acted out. Please help me to be emotionally filled by you. Help me to get the rest I need, and give me the courage to call a friend."

Conway / Farrel Articles ~    Reprint by permission only,  ©2011

Midlife Dimensions ~ www.Midlife.com


The Conways and Farrels are international speakers and popular authors.

Midlife Dimensions is a ministry founded by the Conways and continued by the Farrels.