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Change Your Character -- Win Over Addiction

Sexual addiction is not the real problem, it is the result of underlying character flaws. For example, when you see pictures of large icebergs floating in the North Atlantic, you only see approximately one-tenth of the ice mass. The part of the water may be 20 or 50 feet high, but it is being held into the air by the massive amount of ice floating underneath the water.

So it is with sexual addiction. Character flaws are the underlying power which pushes addiction into visibility. But there is good news. As the addict works the program, and cooperates with God to change his character defects -- change will happen!

Many addicts when they first begin to work around sexual addiction do not recognize many of their character flaws. They are so focused on trying to beat lust that they don't see character defects as a problem. In fact, some addicts have thought that some of their character defects were really their strengths.

Let's look at a list of common defects in character which gives energy and push to sexual addiction:

  • Poor boundaries.
  • Lacking empathy.
  • Exploiting other people.
  • Isolation.
  • Not allowing other people to correct you.
  • Lies, double life, secrets.
  • Anger, retaliation.
  • Resentment.
  • Vindictiveness.
  • Projection of Blamed to Others.
  • Pride, Ego, Arrogance, Feeling Superior.
  • Unwilling to Accept the Consequences for Your Action.
  • Protectionism.
  • Fear of Abandonment.
  • Dependency on Mothers Nurturing.

As you read over this list did God point out any of your faults? Don't be overwhelmed, but don't cover-up. Keep reminding yourself that you don't want to live with falsehood and secrets any more. Also remember that you are gradually changing as you work the program. Your list of character defects is really a description of what you used to be when you were living your out of control sexually addicted life.

Keep working the program to its fullest extent, and you will automatically be working on your character issues. And as your character becomes more Godly you will struggle less with lust.

Conway / Farrel Articles ~    Reprint by permission only,  ©2011

Midlife Dimensions ~ www.Midlife.com


The Conways and Farrels are international speakers and popular authors.

Midlife Dimensions is a ministry founded by the Conways and continued by the Farrels.