Most sexual addicts have a Little Boy or a Little Girl inside who feels very much alone. This Little Child never got the nurturance which he or she needed. You probably came from a dysfunctional home where abuse was normal -- physical, mental, sexual, and even spiritual abuse.
Addiction started for many addicts about the time of the transition from being a child to being a teenager. It's difficult enough being a teenager, but when there is a malnourished child inside demanding attention, then the teen years can be very stressful.
The child inside wants attention, to be beloved, and to have his or her needs met. The teenager doesn't know how did meet these needs. The only Time the little Child felt good was when he or she was touched and cuddled, such as when they were nursing, getting a bath, or having a diaper change.
So it's easy for the emotionally empty Little Child to think that sexual acting out is a good way to connect with those good feelings of the past. Sex with self or someone else has a strong physical connection. It's easy for little Child to confuse temporary sexual acting out with long-term healthy emotional connections.
Sadly the desperate needs of the Little Child don't disappear as a teenager becomes a young adult, midlife adult, or even and older adult. The person who is living a double sexual life and is really being controlled by thereof Little Child. The addict spends thousands of dollars, hundreds of hours, who deprive is the family, who risks reputation and career, and who lives with repeated bouts of guilt and shame is really being controlled by this Little Child inside.
Work with your counselor to understand your Little Child and to resolve some of those childhood issues. Together you can find legitimate ways to meet these childhood needs, and that the same time, set boundaries so that your Little Child is not running your life. Every time you do anything in your recovery program you are helping the adult part of your personality to grow and to take its proper leadership.
Conway / Farrel Articles ~ Reprint by permission only, ©2011 Midlife Dimensions ~ www.Midlife.com The Conways and Farrels are international speakers and popular authors. Midlife Dimensions is a ministry founded by the Conways and continued by the Farrels.
Conway / Farrel Articles ~ Reprint by permission only, ©2011
Midlife Dimensions ~ www.Midlife.com
The Conways and Farrels are international speakers and popular authors.
Midlife Dimensions is a ministry founded by the Conways and continued by the Farrels.