Midlife Dimensions


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The word sociopath, is a psychological term describing a person who has problems relating to people. "A sociopath is an anti-social person who is callous, irresponsible, egocentric, impulsive, fails to learn from experience or punishment, and is without remorse or shame." (Family Therapy, GoldenBerg, p. 51)

Much of the above description fits sexual addicts. Isolation and living in a fantasy world are common ingredients in the life of the sexually addicted person. But addicts are also commonly unable to understand the pain they cause, they focus only on their own needs, a and they are often driven by your irrational needs. Even when an addict is caught they fail to learn anything which will modify their behavior, nor do they feel in the shame.

Sexual addicts will do almost anything to get their drug. They are willing to take great risks Just to be satisfied. Look at some of these bizarre risks people are willing to take:

  • Risk being on the internet in chat rooms after they promised their mate they would never do it again.
  • Leave a pornographic video in the family VCR and risk being caught.
  • Return to the same adult bookstore where they had previously been questioned by local police.
  • Hide a playboy magazine in the trunk of their car or under couch cushion in the family room.
  • Meet a person with whom they are having an affair at a local restaurant.
  • Place phone-sex calls from the family telephone.

The list of risks goes and on, and the faulty reasoning is unbelievable. "I thought if I took my girlfriend to local restaurant it would not suspect I was having an affair. If I was out-of-town with her then people would know I was having an affair." It never crossed his mind that he would be seen by many people, and all those people would know he had no legitimate reason to be with this woman.

We're not just trying to help you stop lusting and sexually acting out, but the long-term goal is to bring about a psychological and spiritual change in your life. You've already noticed that I've been trying to help you see the connection between such things as isolation, ego, secrets, and distortion of right & wrong, a having a direct link to your sexual addiction. As you grow to become a better person you'll struggle last with lust.

By now you've figured in out that your sexual addiction is not going to go away with one quick prayer or weekend seminar. To have victory over lust you need to change your lifestyle and away your brain functions. But you have been doing it -- you are making the commitment to have victory over lust.

Conway / Farrel Articles ~    Reprint by permission only,  ©2011

Midlife Dimensions ~ www.Midlife.com

The Conways and Farrels are international speakers and popular authors.

Midlife Dimensions is a ministry founded by the Conways and continued by the Farrels.