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Always a Voyeur

You might object at my suggestion that you are a voyeur. Think about it, are you always on the outside of life looking in? Don't you continually experience that now gnawing desire to connect? Isn't your life marked by alienation, aloneness, isolation -- and always thinking that other people are really enjoying life.

Lust keeps you in the "outsider" position. When you're looking at a centerfold in a magazine, looking at a porno video, staring at a woman in a supermarket, picking up a prostitute, having an affair, or masturbating in a booth in an adult bookstore -- is that reality? Are to just a voyeur standing on the outside of life -- disconnected from it all?

By this time in your program you are hopefully experiencing some success. But you also may be finding the program very rigorous. Don't give up! You are on the edge of breaking the back of this terrible thing called sexual addiction.

At the beginning of working the program many people ask, "Why must I do all these things?" In fact some people struggle with resentment and anger so much that it will force them out of the program -- "I'm not going to do all this junk! I'm not sick as these people! These people really need the program -- but not me!"

When ideas pushing your head about wanting to get out of the program, hold on yourself. Don't let excuses drive you out of the program. Yes, you can always find someone who is worse off than you are, but that doesn't mean that you don't have a problem. Patiently stick with the program, and work on your own addiction problem.

Everything that I'm suggesting that you do is not punish you, it's to help you coming in from the fantasy world outside, to experience of real-life. Think about what you have been asked to do -- the phone call's, choosing a sponsor, accounts or, attending meetings, working on your steps, having a daily quiet time, plus all the other suggestions.

Each of these activities is designed to connect you better with people, with God, and with yourself. Bravely work the program, trust the process, the same issue would trust in a coach who is teaching you to be a better player and athlete.

I liked the movie Karate Kid. The karate teacher, Mr. Miyagi, had Daniel do several projects around his house. Daniel was to wax the cars, and paint the fence. But Daniel was taught to do it in a certain way which seemed very awkward and strange. But all of the work projects were strengthening Daniel’s muscles and preparing him to use karate.

It didn't make sense to Daniel as he was doing all the work, but later he realized the wisdom of his teacher. In the same way you may not understand why you are supposed to do all of these things -- but trust the process -- trust the people who've gone before you -- trust the people who have sexual sobriety. Someday you will no longer be on the outside, a voyeur, but you will have made a real connection with God, other people, and yourself.


Conway / Farrel Articles ~    Reprint by permission only,  ©2011

Midlife Dimensions ~ www.Midlife.com

  

The Conways and Farrels are international speakers and popular authors.

Midlife Dimensions is a ministry founded by the Conways and continued by the Farrels.