Midlife Dimensions


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For the addict, lying is a problem in two different directions. First, the addict lies to everyone about the addiction. Addicts develop an intricate maze of deception. Addicts are highly skilled at lying—they can remember the lie they told the person last time, so they don't contradict themselves. Addicts also remember which lie they told to which person in what setting.

It's interesting to watch in addict handle a situation when two people get together and the addict has told them two different "lie stories". For example, the addict and his wife are out for lunch, where they bump into a business associate. The addict was seen by the business associate when the addict was out to lunch with his girlfriend. He told the associate that his girlfriend was his daughter.

The associate is so glad to meet the wife, and casually remarks, it was so good to meet your daughter a few weeks ago. The wife is shocked—they don't have a daughter.

But this doesn't stop the addict—he just lies again. He says, "John, I was just teasing you. The young woman I had lunch with, Jessica, is one of the college students from our church. You know Honey, I've always thought that if we ever had a daughter I would certainly want her to be like Jessica. So I had lunch with Jessica to chat about her future career".

Well, he got out of that one. But what happens when his wife bumps into Jessica at church? Well Jessica is gone to college most of the time, and if it ever comes up again, he will have a new fantastic “lie story”.

But there is a second aspect of lying that is even more dangerous—the addict lies to himself. The addict lies to himself with an endless list. Some of his lie statements commonly heard are these:

  • What I’m doing is not terribly wrong.
  • I’m not his bad as other people.
  • God will not allow me to be found out.
  • I really am helping this prostitute by giving her money.
  • I'm under a lot of stress—I deserve this magazine.
  • My wife doesn't understand me—the women in the chat rooms understand.
  • My niece would never tell anyone.
  • I'm not harassing women at work—I’m just being friendly.
  • My affair is not harming our marriage—I’m making it stronger.
  • Why should I be re-moved from my church job—everybody does it!
  • And on and on and on go the lies.

Perhaps the biggest lie of all is to himself, "Nothing is wrong with me, I'm not an addict, I'm not living a dual life, and most of all I am not self deceived!”

To successfully gain victory over lust, you must not tolerate even the smallest deception. Let God confront you every time you slant the truth, distort reality, or excuse yourself. At you continually allow God to monitor you, you will gain progressive victory over lust.

Conway / Farrel Articles ~    Reprint by permission only,  ©2011

Midlife Dimensions ~ www.Midlife.com


The Conways and Farrels are international speakers and popular authors.

Midlife Dimensions is a ministry founded by the Conways and continued by the Farrels.