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The Illusion of Sex--"I Will be Filled"

Lusting and acting out are all "smoke and mirrors". It’s the fantasy that makes it seems so wonderful. It's the tease, the forbidden, the power, the promise of a new stimulation, the hope for a new satisfaction. In many ways it is not the sexual act itself which hooks sexual addicts—it’s the illusion.

Think about it, the human sexual organs are not terribly attractive. But it's our emotions and imaginations which makes the experience pleasurable. For example, french kissing to most children is very disgusting. They say, "Yuck, I wouldn't want anybody to stick their tongue in my mouth." And if you told them about oral sex—kids would totally freak out.

It is the illusion that acting out will be wonderful. But sex is only truly wonderful when you deeply care for the other person, when you only want their best, when you are committed only to this person—without any of the junk of sexual addiction. Also, for great sex, your partner must deeply love you—neither of you living a secret life.

Great Godly sex is really an emotional and spiritual connection of two committed people who are both walking in the light—no fantasy, no secrets.

But sexual addicts keep saying, "One more fix, one new person, the next issue of Playboy, another video, another night on the Internet—this time it's going to be different—you really will connect with a wonderful person—you will be fulfilled". But that is an illusion. The addict goes through this experience hundreds of times, believing the next time will be different. But it's always and illusion, with more guilt and shame. When will the addict learn?

How different is legitimate godly sex within marriage. When you roll over to go to sleep there is a deep peace inside. You've just shared the most intimate of human experiences with a person who loves you deeply, and whom you love. You held each other and prayed together—thanking God for the gift of each other. In the morning you awaken without shame and guilt—there is joy and confidence in God.
You can experience real sex—real connection—real fulfillment. And all that without guilt or shame. And you are moving toward that goal at as you work the program.


Conway / Farrel Articles ~    Reprint by permission only,  ©2011

Midlife Dimensions ~ www.Midlife.com

  

The Conways and Farrels are international speakers and popular authors.

Midlife Dimensions is a ministry founded by the Conways and continued by the Farrels.