Midlife Dimensions


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Lust is Empowered by a Spiritual Vacuum

The nature of a vacuum is that it will not stay that way—a vacuum cannot exist by itself. Something will rush in and fill the vacuum. Sexual lust and acting out are all indicators of a spiritual need. Lust becomes a drug which is used to calm that empty part of our personality. What the addict really needs is to connect to God—not more sexual acting out.

When a person feels disconnected from god, disconnected from other people, and even disconnected from the spiritual part of their own personality, then a spiritual vacuum exists. But for the sexaholic, a spiritual vacuum cannot remain as a vacuum—lust will flood in.

A spiritual emptiness within yourself—that "God sized hole"—will be filled up with something. For some people the spiritual emptiness will be filled with food, workaholism, alcohol, drugs, gambling, or owning lots of stuff, or being a powerful person. But for the sexaholic, the spiritual emptiness is filled with lust and acting out.

Each person makes the choice. We can fill the spiritual emptiness with God, or with an addiction. The best answer is obvious—connect with God. Invite him into your life. Ask God to fill those empty places in your heart with Himself—starting from the moment of your birth until now.

As you read this section, ask God to bring to your memory a painful time from your childhood. Perhaps God will identify a time when you were sexually abused, or physically beaten, or just the painful reality that you never really connected with your parents. In all of those experiences you were emotionally alone.

Now visualize yourself in that moment from your past, but see yourself as an adult. Next visualize yourself as the child in that experience. Then put your adult hand on that little child's shoulder, or hold hands, as the two of you look at that situation. Feel the little child's pain in that moment from the past. Carefully understand all that your “child self” felt back then—the helplessness, hopelessness, resentment and mistrust toward adults, confusion about God, and confusion about whether your little child had any worth or value to anyone.

As the two of you stand there, hand in hand, invite Jesus to stand with you. Listen to the little child explain to Jesus the experience and all of the feelings. Explain to your little child that when Jesus was here on earth he took special delight in letting kids sit on his lap.

Now imagine the words Jesus would say to that little child. And what would Jesus say to the adults who had caused the pain of that experience? Speak the words out loud which you imagine that Jesus would say to your little child, and to these adults.

Now it’s your turn to speak about that situation. From your adult perspective, what would you say to those adults? It's important for your little child to hear you defending her or him, as you give your adult perspective of that situation.

Additionally, speak comfort to your little child. What reassurances would you give? How would you comfort this little child—a hug, smile, a kiss? What would you tell that little person about the adults? What would you say about Jesus? And what would you say about the low respect your little child has for him/herself?

As you follow this sequence in several of the painful areas from your childhood, you will begin to fill that spiritual vacuum which has existed since you were child. When that deep spiritual emptiness is filled, then lust doesn't have a power source to keep an alive. Lust won’t exist in a spiritually healed person who is working the program of healing.

Conway / Farrel Articles ~    Reprint by permission only,  ©2011

Midlife Dimensions ~ www.Midlife.com


The Conways and Farrels are international speakers and popular authors.

Midlife Dimensions is a ministry founded by the Conways and continued by the Farrels.