Midlife Dimensions


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Sex as Power

by Jim Conway, Ph.D.

For the prostitute taking the "John's" money, it’s power. She was probably sexually abused as a child, hates men, and this is her way of getting even for all that men have done to her. The "John" thinks he is in control. He pays the prostitute to have sex with him. He thinks he doesn't have to be involved with her, he is just paying his money and can leave. But both of them are being manipulated by the power of the other.

The woman who dresses seductively is using her sexual power to attract man -- to control them. She may not really want to have sex with them, but she wants to see if she can control them—make them want her. Men also use power by the way they dress, the car they drive, or their position of work. These are all power tools which may help to seduce each other.

It's a strange world. Everyone using sex as power—hoping by sexual psychological power to suck someone into their world. But in reality, people are looking for a connection. They want a connection which is voluntary, affirming, sacrificial, submissive, and loving. But if a relationship starts out with seduction and power, it never really becomes loving and affirming.

Lust is selfish, self centered, introspective. But true love is sacrificial -- it wants the highest good for the other person. Lust is all about power -- while love is all about caring about the full growth of the other person.

For the next few days watch how you relate to people. Are you manipulating them, or using your power to make them your servants? Or are you seeking to understand them, so that you can enrich their lives in wholesome ways?

Conway / Farrel Articles ~    Reprint by permission only,  ©2011

Midlife Dimensions ~ www.Midlife.com


The Conways and Farrels are international speakers and popular authors.

Midlife Dimensions is a ministry founded by the Conways and continued by the Farrels.