Midlife Dimensions


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The Secret Life

It's so demanding to live a dual life. It takes so much time. You have to keep remembering, "Now what did I tell that person last time?" Every time you leave the house longer than usual you have to keep coming up with logical lies—so your husband or wife won't get suspicious.

In the beginning, it’s an adventure which allows all of your creativity to flourish. But as the months and years go by, the guilt becomes an overwhelming weight. You begin to wish you could somehow escape from this double life.

But then you remember, “Whenever I feel overwhelmed by guilt there is always a good solution”—sexual acting out. Listen to your pathetic self, "I feel guilty, isolated, no one understands me, I'm alone—so I'll have sex." You tell yourself, "In the past I always felt better when I had sex."

So the sad addictive cycle continues. You feel alone and guilty because of sexually acting out—then you feel overwhelmed with your guilt—then you despise yourself. So you look for your drug—sex and lust to comfort you again.

The worst part of this sick cycle is that you are being negatively changed. Gradually your personality is dividing into two pieces. Your first life may be that of a good mate, parent, employee, church leader, and an outstanding citizen in the community. The second life may be riddled with sexual addiction—pornography, fantasy, secret meetings and phone calls, affairs, Internet, and uncontrollable lust.

Eventually you may become so divided that the good part of you may truly believe that the dark side of you doesn't exist. Sexual addiction, fantasy, and lust have won! Your addiction has split your personality into two very different pieces.

And all “Hell” will break loose when your secret life is discovered! Your dark life will destroy your good life. Perhaps you have already lost your family, your friends, your job, your respect in the community, and your friends at your church.

But you can break the cycle and stop the secret life anytime you choose. Just start working the program. You will be different—and your two personalities will come together.

Conway / Farrel Articles ~    Reprint by permission only,  ©2011

Midlife Dimensions ~ www.Midlife.com


The Conways and Farrels are international speakers and popular authors.

Midlife Dimensions is a ministry founded by the Conways and continued by the Farrels.