Midlife Dimensions


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Addicted to the Unreal

Addicts live in a fantasy world. What is your addiction? The Internet, X-rated videos, prostitutes, sexual daydreams, strip clubs, sex magazines, romantic novels, phone sex, affairs, adult bookstores? The list goes on and on.

All of these sexual activities or environments are really fantasy. For example, do you really believe the prostitute loves the "John"? Or, is it all in your mind that those women, or men, who were acting out on a X-rated video would really like to have sex with you—or even a relationship?

Let's look at another way. Suppose you're on airplane seated in first-class and Miss October from the Playboy magazine is seated next to you. This is the woman whose picture you’ve seen in Playboy—and you’ve fantasized that you were having sex with her. But the thing that made your fantasy really great was that you believed she wanted to have sex with you.

Let's get real. Is Miss October going to turn to you and say, "Wow it's so great to sit next you, I've been looking forward to meeting you. I want you to come to my hotel when the plane lands, because I'm really hot for you".

You've got to be kidding! You've got to be kidding! Hello . . . is there a brain in there??? She’s not going to give you the time of day. She will totally ignore you as you sit next her — in fact she may even be asked to be reseated.

But you argue, "You don’t understand my situation. I'm in an affair with a woman, or man, who really loves me". Let me get this straight—you're a married person having an affair with a person half your age, and you fantasize that they really love you? No, they don't love you—they are using you. He/she is a needy little person who is looking for a parent. What she really wants from you is all the caring that their own father or mother never gave. The bottom line is that you are both exploiting each other—there's no real love here.

Fantasy, fantasy, fantasy—it's the life of the sex addict. Addicts live between their ears. They live in a dream world. You would be very correct to tell yourself, "Everything connected with lust is only in my mind—only a fantasy!"

Conway / Farrel Articles ~    Reprint by permission only,  ©2011

Midlife Dimensions ~ www.Midlife.com


The Conways and Farrels are international speakers and popular authors.

Midlife Dimensions is a ministry founded by the Conways and continued by the Farrels.