Midlife Dimensions


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The Ego Problem

The common problem among all addicts, whether drug addicts, food addicts, gamblers, alcoholics, or sex addicts, is that they believe they can control their addiction. "It won’t hurt me just to have one drink". But we know that's not true for alcoholic. Sexual addicts are like alcoholics, they lie to themselves—they believe they really can be in control.

Addicts are arrogant. Because they really think they can control their lives, they refuse help from anyone. "Do you think I'm so pathetic that I need to go to Sexaholics Anonymous meetings?” Or, “What's wrong with having a romantic date?” Don't you think “I can control myself?" Or, “I really wouldn’t act out with her, I just wanted to think about how good it could be.” The sexual addict believes that a little bit of lust won't hurt, or I can stop looking at porno on the internet anytime I choose. So addicts believe it's harmless to flirt, to look the second and third time, to fanaticize a bit about what it would be like to be with that person sexually—“After all, I can control this”.

That's exactly the point—your ego is leading you onto thin ice. And your history should show you that you've never been able to control lust in the past, so why should you believe your ego now? Don't believe the lie that you don't need help.

The strength of your decision to face your problem is that as you continue to surrender yourself, as well as your addiction to God, you will gain progressive victory over lust. Daily admit that you are powerless, and continually surrender to the “process” of the 12 step program. At the beginning you will think that you are working the 12 steps—but suddenly it will dawn on you—the 12 steps are working you. You are changing!

Conway / Farrel Articles ~    Reprint by permission only,  ©2011

Midlife Dimensions ~ www.Midlife.com


The Conways and Farrels are international speakers and popular authors.

Midlife Dimensions is a ministry founded by the Conways and continued by the Farrels.