A major emotion your husband may display most of the time is anger. He is angry that he is getting older, angry that he feels tired, angry that his financial obligations are grinding him under, angry that he hasn’t reached his career goals--or that he has and it hasn’t made any difference anyway--angry that life is a big waste of time, angry that you don’t understand him or do what pleases him, angry that the kids only want him for the things he can provide them, angry that no one appreciates him, angry that God has let life be this way--angry, angry, angry. When he doesn’t vocalize his anger, he sits depressed with his negative emotions boiling inside.
You can help your husband understand that it is all right to feel angry. Admitting he has those feelings is one step toward healing. He doesn’t need to feel guilty--anger is not sinful, it is just a feeling.
If you can keep cool and objective, you can let your husband spill his angry feelings to you. That doesn’t mean that you should let him physically or verbally attack you. But you can help dissipate his anger by listening to him. Make sure you can stay calm and don’t inflame you husband’s feelings. If you can be an objective listener, you will be vital in helping him get over his anger and get on with the constructive actions of recovery.
Conway / Farrel Articles ~ Reprint by permission only, ©2011
Midlife Dimensions ~ www.Midlife.com
The Conways and Farrels are international speakers and popular authors.
Midlife Dimensions is a ministry founded by the Conways and continued by the Farrels.