Is My Silence and Patience Simply Endorsing My Mate's Wrong Actions?

Some people would argue that we are just making it easier for people to keep committing adultery or to defect from their families. They say we should attack the issue straight on. "Tell people to repent or you’ll wash your hands of them!" they would advise.

But we need to look at the example of Jesus. He "hit the issue straight on." But His blunt and harsh words were directed to the hypocritical religious folks--the phonies putting on a spirituality show. Jesus, on the other hand, was very kind to adulteresses, tax cheaters, alcohol abusers, and people whose tempers got them into trouble. He got to the root of their problem, but He preserved their dignity while He did it. And He brought about permanent change.

Certain people believe we must confront wrongs with indignation and anger. We have found, however, that hostility will never bring a person to repentance or change. Even if you manage not to be antagonistic, if you are the slightest bit condescending or give any impression that you feel superior you will alienate the one you’re trying to win.

We need to be very careful in challenging people about their mistakes. Too often the confronting is done only to satisfy the confronted’s feelings of self-righteousness and need for power than out of genuine love for the other person. Yes people need to be confronted--but as Jesus did with the woman caught in adultery--with compassion.

Conway / Farrel Articles ~    Reprint by permission only,  ©2011

Midlife Dimensions ~


The Conways and Farrels are international speakers and popular authors.

Midlife Dimensions is a ministry founded by the Conways and continued by the Farrels.