Midlife Dimensions

www.MIDLIFE.com

We hope you've found our website to be helpful and encouraging. You can play a big part in the lives of others by supporting the upkeep of midlife.com, and our chat room, with a tax-deductible donation of any amount, big or small. Thank you for being a part of our team!

Choose your donation level:
SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

I'm In Shock Since My Mate Left--What Should I Do?

Feel your feelings. One minute you might be expecting that your mate will return any day, and minutes later you might be in tears remembering that your mate said they were leaving and that they were involved with another person. The first temptation of the abandoned person is to deny that abandonment has happening and to hide their true feelings. Denial will not change the reality.

We encourage you to feel your pain, to realize that every one of the emotions that surged through you in the first moments and every moment since then is a normal sensation. In fact, it would be abnormal not to feel those emotions.

Be poised, not pathetic. It’s very different to say, I am a person and I have this problem than to say, I am a problem, and I’ve lost my personhood. The goal is to be a poised person who says to himself or herself, I am a person who has a problem, but I’m going to work toward a solution. Maintain your dignity as a person--refusing to accept the negative messages that the circumstances may seem to be giving you ("you’re inadequate; you’re sexually deficient; you’re dumb"). Realizing that these are false messages.


Conway / Farrel Articles ~    Reprint by permission only,  ©2011

Midlife Dimensions ~ www.Midlife.com

  

The Conways and Farrels are international speakers and popular authors.

Midlife Dimensions is a ministry founded by the Conways and continued by the Farrels.