Webster describes the affair as "a romantic or passionate attachment, typically of limited duration." But the dictionary in no way describes the intensity and elation, or the pain, agony, and tragedy that we have seen in the lives of people who are involved in affairs.
Not all extramarital affairs have a sexual dimension, but they certainly have a dimension of emotional preoccupation. Thoughts continually drift to the other person, and commitment shifts away from the marriage to the other person.
An affair may be something that is very casual. It may be, as in the movie, Same Time Next Year, only a yearly contact. Affairs run the full spectrum--deep emotional sharing and caring, to full-blown sexual relationships. It isn't so important to define an affair as it is to face the facts that you are actually involved in an affair if another man/woman is drawing your emotions away from your husband/wife.
Don't justify your actions by saying that we are only great friends. If you are spending energy, time, and money on a relationship with another man/woman instead of your husband/wife, no matter how innocent that relationship may appear, you are in an affair.
Conway / Farrel Articles ~ Reprint by permission only, ©2011
Midlife Dimensions ~ www.Midlife.com
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