A husband's midlife crisis may cause a wife some of the greatest stresses that she has ever experienced. She will be shocked to see her husband begin to question values and choices she thought had been settled long ago. She will have trouble understanding why he is so preoccupied with his aging. When he accuses her of being the cause of his problems, or gives her the cold, silent treatment, she will feel rejected and misunderstood.
The reality of her husband being attracted to younger women will cause her terrible anxiety, because she knows she doesn't have the figure she once had, even if she has been careful about diet and exercise. But, after all, she bore his children, sat up nights with them, now chauffeurs them, administers their comings and goings, and has been doing double duty with them and the house, and perhaps a job besides, for all these years. Of course, she has crow's-feet at the corners of her eyes and her hair is graying! She wishes he could accept her aging--and his, and that this Midlife Crisis stuff would just go away.
If he is having trouble at work or has perhaps even quit, there will be financial strain. His self-esteem has probably taken a beating, so he will take out his frustrations on his wife and kids. If she babies him, he will want her to leave him alone; if she ignores him, he will want her attention.
In such a situation a wife will find herself on the horns of a dilemma. She may try to help her husband see the world straight, but he seems to be wearing the wrong glasses, and they certainly aren't rose-colored either! She may feel as if she is tiptoeing over rotten eggs all the time. One misstep and phew-yyy!!
Physically a wife suffers, too. The tension makes her tired. She often doesn't get enough sleep because of worry, waiting for her husband to come home, or a long argument late at night. She may overeat or not eat enough of the right foods. Ulcers, acne, menstrual complications, headaches, heart trouble, and other symptoms come from the stress her body is under.
Some women are physically abused by their husbands during the time. A man's anger and frustration with the unsettled issues within himself, may cause some previously gentle men to become violent and beat their wives. In fact, wife beating is becoming a serious national problem. Because women are trying to protect their husband’s reputations, they often do not report the beatings, or get help for themselves.
Conway / Farrel Articles ~ Reprint by permission only, ©2011
Midlife Dimensions ~ www.Midlife.com
The Conways and Farrels are international speakers and popular authors.
Midlife Dimensions is a ministry founded by the Conways and continued by the Farrels.