Having balance, or consistency in life, during a separation or divorce, is to be who you want to be instead of living in reaction to the person who is out of control.
Keep asking yourself:
* How do I want to live?
* Do I want to be a person who has healthy boundaries?
* Do I want to be someone who can communicate effectively?
* Do I want to be someone who can confront in a constructive manner?
When you are being true to who you want to be, you tend to be less reactive to the other person and more responsive to what God is trying to do in your life. Certainly not easy but I have seen it to be effective.