Over 6 years ago (March 2003), my Husband "dropped the bomb". After 6 months of work, counseling and prayers, my Husband decided to move out. He said he'd never find someone that was more compatible, took better care of him and was more attractive, but he felt we'd lost our connection. We'd been together 28 years. He moved out and a few months later filed for divorce. He bought a house and moved the Other Woman and her Daughter in with him. Weeks after the divorce was final, he married the Other Woman. He told everyone that he was very happy and finally had the life he wanted.
At the time, I couldn't imagine life without my Husband or how I could go on. God led me to Jim Conway's book, then to Jim, and finally to the chat group here. Now I can tell you that I thank God for this journey, despite all the pain. It's because of this journey that I've grown, healed, dealt with my own buried issues and met incredible people who will be friends for life. I've done things I never gave myself time to do and accomplished more than I could imagine. I reached a place of trusting the Lord with my future, regardless of what that is.
A year ago, my Husband separated from the Other Woman, filed for divorce from her and began reconnecting with me. He told friends that he never got over me and never stopped thinking of me. He has shared many of the issues he and the Other Woman had and how much stress he was under in that relationship.
We are taking things slow, rebuilding the friendship that had been so strong. A few months ago he asked me if I thought we'd get back together. I replied to take it one day at a time, one step at a time but that it felt so comfortable. He agreed that our time together does feel very comfortable. I've had time to heal, grow and forgive. I want my Husband to have time for his own healing, growth and for his forgiveness. My greatest prayer continues to be for my Husband's salvation.
Many people told me to give up, move on, and that I was released from standing due to my Husband's marriage to the Other Woman. I never prayed against my Husband's marriage but instead for the Lord's will in their lives, for salvation for my Husband & the Other Woman, for their healing and to find the truth. However I did feel called to continue my stand.
I tell others, this is not wasted time, this is time for us to focus on our growth, our relationship with the Lord and that it can be a time of real joy. When I reached the place of trusting the Lord with my future (regardless of what that is), I found such peace. We can't change or fix our Husbands's, we can only work on us. This is our time and the Lord has a wonderful plan for each of us, trust Him.