Midlife Dimensions

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Wise advice can be found in this letter...

Dear Jim Conway,

You don't know this, but your book "Men in Mid Life Crisis" saved my marriage and my sanity 20 years ago. I still have it and was rereading it today, and then felt compelled to thank you for writing such an informative work to help people like me. We survived and our marriage morphed from its previous innocence into the full relationship it is today.

You explained the things my husband couldn't or wouldn't say to me because it would be too painful for me to hear. I needed to hear it, though, in order for us to get to a healthy place. I was able to understand him and know what to do because of your words, and it was so much easier to digest coming from you than it would have been from him.

His dysfunctional solution to midlife was to have an affair with a girl at work who was quitting and moving away, and he thought he could keep their dalliance a secret. Instead, she got her job back to be near him, hoping to pick up the pieces if and when our marriage ended. The pain and humiliation I felt was beyond words. I would have never believed this would happen to a Christian couple like us, but it did.

"Focus on the Family" suggested your book, and I read it daily to absorb everything. I was patient, understanding, worked on my failures, and loved him throughout his midlife stage. He broke off the affair and recommitted to me, and he has never wavered since. We have now been married for 34 years and our life together is very rich.

My counselor at the time told me not to talk about it with anyone, as it would make the healing process tougher. She was right, and because we didn't air our dirty laundry with those who were only interested in the gossip of our situation, we walked out of the horror with minimal damage. I still felt like Humpty Dumpty, but Jesus really does make all things new.

Thank you, thank you for your informative book, and for being my friend when I was in crisis.

Best,

D.