Midlife Dimensions


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Restored Marriage of our Chat Room Facilitator "Dani"

I was doing research on midlife crisis since my husband was acting odd and I stumbled across the Midlife Dimensions Chat Room.   I bought Jim's book, “Men In Midlife Crisis” which was a great help.   I can't even remember how I actually found any of it although looking back I can see that it was the hand of God.  

I do have a personal relationship with Jesus.   I was fortunate to be raised in a Christian home and "asked Jesus in my heart" when I was 5.   When I was 14 I made a personal commitment to Christ.  I was born and lived in So California until I was 23.   I attended Los Angeles Baptist College in Newhall which is now the Master's College and majored in psychology.  

I married my husband and moved to Maine with him where his family lived.   We had 2 girls.   The oldest one is working in a law firm and attending law school.   Our younger daughter graduated from St Lawrence University with a degree in Communications.   We are so blessed.   

My husband was laid off in 2006 after working for decades in different parts of the construction industry.   Although this has been a challenge, it has also caused us to create some priorities that are very good for us. He is now helping me in my work. After having a home-based day care for 11 years,   I am now self-employed and am a sales-rep for gifts and home decor.   I started the business in the year 2000.

I'll give you an overview of our MLC too!!   It was pretty much by the book!   My husband had been dealing with depression, back pain , inability to sleep and unhappiness with his job.   This developed into an overall disinterest and unhappiness in life.   I could see something was coming, I just didn't know what.   We signed him up for flying lessons in order to have a fun and interesting midlife hobby and he almost completed those lessons!    

During that time I found the Midlife Dimensions chat room, got the books and read up on MLC.   I remember reading about the affairs in the chat room and thinking "those poor, poor women", and then I found out I was one of them!  

Again, he was pretty much by the book and it was so amazing to me that I had found Jim's books and had this source of encouragement and advise to refer back to.   During our 3 year separation he filed for divorce, which never went through.   God taught me so many things during this time -- the apparent thing I am constantly reminded of now is HIS ability to heal our family, our children, our relationship, and my husband.   I can honestly say I live with no pain from that terribly, unbelievably painful time.  

I find the healing amazing, as do our girls. I think one of my greatest blessings is to hear them talk openly about their teenage years and hear them say they would not change a thing because of the things they learned, the way their eyes were opened to how messy real life can be, and the amazing experience of watching God heal us.   These are girls that were bitter and hurt beyond belief when their daddy abandoned all of us.....but it was all part of God's plan to bring us to where we are today.

Midlife Dimensions Chat Room was a life-line for me when my life was falling apart.   I remember Jim saying, at the Tampa, Florida, Chat Room Retreat, "When your marriage is restored, please don't leave the Chat Room.   We need you in there."   I've remembered that and it's been a privilege to continue to serve as a Facilitator in the Chat Room.   Not only does it give me an outlet in which to minister and make friends, it is also a great reminder for me of where my marriage once was.   I usually look at my husband with fresh gratitude, appreciation and love when I finish an hour in the chat room -- so it is still good therapy for me as well!