Let me share the following for those wives who are hurting so badly... it was given to my own wife during her painful battle.
"What you feed will grow."
Betrayal takes many forms.
Some have been betrayed with pornography or prostitutes, fantasies with which we can't compete. For some of us, the other woman takes on many faces - one night stands, the co-worker, our best friend, or faceless names on the internet.
All forms of sexual betrayal reflect unhealthy emotions in our partner. And because we are touched by it daily, we, too, become emotionally unhealthy. Our illness shows itself in many ways also. We obsess, we rage, we stalk, we withdraw, we bury ourselves in denial or work. The one unavoidable constant is our pain.
But we can choose what to do while we're in pain.
We can try to ignore it, to bury it so deeply inside that for the moment we can't feel it. Others of us may focus on our pain, magnify it, hanging on to our victimhood.
Or we can choose to focus on the behaviors that will free us from our pain, behaviors that will bring us relief, healing, recovery. We can choose counseling or prayer. We can focus on forgiveness. We can find the support of healthy people who understand our pain because they've been where we are.
What we feed will grow; let us feed recovery.
Today I will respond to the unhealthy circumstances in my life with healthy emotions. I will feed my spirit. I will begin the process of healing."
I share this prayer with and for you all...
Many of our sisters are experiencing the heartbreak of this crushing reality... many of them have learned that their husband is satisfying himself outside of the warmth of their body and their love.
The presence of the "other" women has taken residence in his heart...a place that was meant to be reserved for them alone.
Make each of our sisters the object of their Husband's desire Father. Open each man's eyes so that he can see his wife as you have made her to be...a precious jewel without blemish who is holding all her desire and all of herself for him. Strike deep in his heart Father and kindle his desire for your best... the wonderful woman he joined with in covenant.
Break this bondage in his life and bring his heart to true repentance. Let the truth be known... rip off the lid of his secret shame so that he no longer has to walk the path of deceit.
And as you move Father, and each husband begins to deal with the truth of his betrayal, I ask for special grace for our sisters. Help them to deal with the emotional baggage that is bound to overwhelm them at times. When the moments of anger surge over their husband's behavior and lies, be there to hold them and see them through. Bring the people into their lives that will help them to walk a godly path of reliance upon you for all their needs during this time. Keep them from despair and fill them with your assurance that they are not in any way responsible for their husband's sin. Build a hedge around our sisters Lord so that they can bear the burden of helping their husband's to heal and recover from this assault against their very soul and against their marriage.
Let the fruit of your Spirit reign in our sisters as they boldly stand up to the enemy and claim their husband for you Father. I ask for an outpouring of Goodness, Knowledge, Self-control, Perseverance, Godliness, Kindness and Love in their lives.
Finally Father, show us how we can be a force for good in each of our sister's lives. Give us the wisdom and the understanding to minister your love to them and to take up the cause of their husband and their marriage through prayer and supplication. Allow us to give comfort where we can.
In Jesus Mighty Name.