Midlife Dimensions

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Q. My husband has deeply wounded our kids by not being in their life for 1 year. Should I occasionally send him emails updating him on our children? I will do it for the kids, but I don’t want to set myself up for possible rejection.

A. You should continue to send the information that keeps the door open for him to be a father. Announce their events, their accomplishments, their birthdays, etc. This way, he has a consistent reminder in front of him, and you maintain integrity with your kids (by not purposefully withholding information with their father). As far as being vulnerable, I would wait until I saw a breakthrough in him.