Midlife Dimensions


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Q. My husband is initiating contact with kids, but totally avoiding, or rejecting, any contact with me. What is the best response to my husband in these situations?

A. I am admittedly going to give you a very "male" answer but I think it will give you some perspective. Your relationship with your husband is a separate issue from your kid’s relationship with your husband. Your kids need to have contact with him, while you need to do your best not to explain his actions or make up for the times he confuses them and hurts them. You want to be there for them, but they need to see that you are different than him and that you don't spend a lot of time defending or explaining him. It is good; therefore, for you to encourage him to stay in contact with them, and let him know, when possible, that you are interested in reconciling any time he is interested in a healthy friendship / relationship.