Midlife Dimensions

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Q. My husband won't look at me (unless he is intoxicated) and I assume it is because of guilt. Do you think most guilt points to the other woman, or just because they know they are behaving in ways that are hurting the family?

A.   Guilt is a strange thing. It causes people to act defensively and childishly. Trying to make sense of it is impossible because the dots don't connect. Once people start choosing poorly, they quit thinking clearly and act in ways that are confusing, ineffective and immature. I think the best response is to accept that he is responding this way because of him not you.