6:09 Lily3: Jim, my question is this: how do you recommend you treat someone in mlc? My h moved out for 5 months and is now back but hardly talking to me. Besides praying, is there anything I can do? Should I treat him kindly or treat him as he treats me?
6:25 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: Lily3: Remember to understand his needs and what he is struggling with in all the areas of his life, it's better that you give him lots of affirmation. Think back to the man he was 5 years ago and compliment on those positive areas. Remember also to do the changing that you need to do so that he wants to be with you.
6:50 Lily3: ALL: In your experience, should I try to talk to my h about "us" and problems we are having? Anytime I try he gets mad and says he doesn't want to talk about it but how will anything ever get better if we don't try to work it out?
7:06 LisaK [Administrator]: Lily3: I'd highly suggest that you spend time working on yourself. Grow spiritually, mentally, and give yourself a makeover. You'll capture his attention as he sees you becoming a more interesting person. I'd suggest the DVD series, Love and Respect. Also, the movie Fireproof.
6:52 Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Lily3 - most of us who have tried to talk about "us" wish we hadn't. They have so much going on in their heads that they don't understand, and when we try to pin point the topic of us with them, they become frustrated, they can't figure it out themselves, so how are they supposed to explain it to anyone else.
6:32 MAS: Jim: Will you be available for private sessions at the retreat?
6:36 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: MAS: AND ALL ATTENDING THE RETREAT. Yes there will be time at the retreat for us to connect with each other 1-on-1. Or in small groups. These times will be less intensive than what we might do on a telephone counseling session. But Jan and I are hoping to connect with anybody who wants to visit with us personally.
6:32 judysan: Dr Conway, often H is sarcastic and speaks to me (and our 2 kids and players on the high school team he coaches) with a tone...but then he apologizes.. I feel like I am working on your 3 things...what else should I do?
6:38 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: judysan: Your husband is very frustrated with life and that is why he is lashing out. Continue to ask God to give you a great deal of patience.
6:22 RJM: Dr. Jim Conway: I've also bought a few other books. I've never read this much before. I've been going for counseling for a while now and doing what I can to plug into God. lately it's been really tough, I think she's seeing someone.
6:27 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: RJM: If she is seeing someone else, it is probably her attempt to just feel good about something. For now, don't get tense about someone else, just focus on your own personal growth as an understanding man and a working at a deeper relationship with God. How are you doing with the issues that women typically complain about when they want to leave their husbands? Women often say their husband: 1) is too controlling, dominating and “it’s all about him.” 2) doesn't understand that I'm growing (spiritually/mentally) as a person and he is not encouraging me in my career, education, or other activities. 3) doesn't take care of his physical body, hygiene, and general appearance (sometimes I can't stand to touch his flabby body).
6:10 vsingh: Jim: even though she is married to him. She flaunts. Since they married. I backed away in every way. I tried hard before that to save my marriage and family. I would like to marry again someday, but how can we guarantee there will be no divorce. I can't go through that ever again
6:17 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: vsingh: You're doing a great job. Marriage readiness comes about when there's been a thorough resolution of any of your issues related to the marriage, divorce, or your husband's remarriage.
6:53 cab: Jim: I am desperate. My marriage is 100% better except my husband won’t give up the girl he made friends with when things were bad for us. claims he is in love with me and I believe him. I ask him to give her up but won’t no matter what I say
6:56 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: cab: For now, it would be better to spend your energies on making the other woman look less interesting to your husband, by making yourself more interesting.