8:29 PM [dogwood] Jim-- I am developing new activities to keep myself busy and not clinging to H. however, I always asks him if he is interested in joining me (such as go to the gym together, taking a walk together, or to concert together, or taking a trips). He has not accepted any of the suggestions, and has been telling me to go on my own. Should I continue to invite him? Or should I stop asking him to do things together? It is hard when he complains that we have a wide communication gaps yet on the other hand, reject all my suggestions to rebuild relationships. What should I behave around him? He feels very tense around me since his affair was caught by me.
8:31 PM Jim: dogwood at :29, for now it's probably better to let your husband take the lead in how much he wants to be connected
8:19 PM [Still] Jim, How can we meet another's needs when they will not come near us, communicate more than one-word syllables, or have any meaningful interaction?
8:24 PM Jim: Still at :19, you don't have to be around someone to meet their needs. For example; if a woman is a controlling perfectionist, that's an issue that can be worked on with dozens of other people, so that when there is a contact there is an obvious difference demonstrated by the woman lack of control.
8:07 PM [Free to fly] hi Jim, Wish I could see the lake...just to forget for a while:)
8:09 PM Jim: Free to fly at 07, try to find something that can create peaceful moments for yourself. Think back to when you were a child, to a special place or experience. Remembering that time can often give you a few moments of quiet and peace.
8:14 PM [DA] Jim - She views a MLC as an excuse that a man tries to use to justify his behavior. Though I have asked her many times to forgive me - she doesn't believe me to be sincere.
8:19 PM [Jim] DA at 8:14, Remember that when someone has been burned several times, it is more difficult for them to trust again. The weight is on your shoulders to demonstrate over many months that you can be trustworthy, and that you really do understand her needs.
8:13 PM [faithful] Jim my h email and said he wants to see the boys again. Has not seen them since Dec. But what bother me is he always ends the email with he wants his tools.
8:16 PM [Jim] faithful at 8:13, Holding his tools hostage would be counterproductive. It is good in the long run to have your kids stay connected with their father.