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July 26, 2010 / with Jim Conway

6:07 Free to fly: Dr. C: H is taking OW to places where the family use to be. The children play a sport and he has recently been bringing her there. The kids are very embarrassed and have told him but just yesterday he took her there. The kids were not there but one of my D friends told him about it and called the OW an obscene name and it caused a big scene. H got upset. Do you think he is doing it to hurt me but it is really hurting the kids?

6:12 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: 6:07 Free to fly: Probably your husband is viewing the new woman as buying a new car. They don't see any problem with trading in the old car and showing off the new car. To most it is insensitive, but to him it's just showing off the new car. It's good that the kids are reacting because it may be a wake up call for him.



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July 26, 2010 / Monday Chat with Jim 6-7 pm PST / CR#2


5:59 LisaK [Programmer]: Good Evening. Welcome to Monday Night Chat with Jim. I’m Lisa, the Office Manager for Midlife Dimensions. I’m blessed to serve the Lord through our Chat Room Ministry which has helped so many people through their spouse’s midlife journey. Jim Conway will be online with us shortly and as he reads your questions, he’ll dictate his answers for me to type and post for you to see. He will answer all questions that come in before the end of the hour. If you would like to show your appreciation to Jim, you can make a tax-deductible contribution to Jim’s ministry via PayPal at www.Midlife.com. Funds support the Chat Room and Website upkeep. Thank you.

6:02 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: Hi everyone, Jan and I are back from our 10 day trip, where we did a couple of television programs, and where I spoke at the 50th reunion at a church I pastored at it's start.

6:03 Still: Hi everyone!

6:03 nutterbutter: Hi everyone!

6:03 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: Welcome to NUTTERBUTTER AND HEPSY AND PUDDLES. I’m Jim Conway, President of Midlife Dimensions. This room is here to encourage you and answer questions you have about your current situation. Important: Do NOT share personal information such as an email address, phone #, home address, or any names. Now, here’s how to join in. 1) Type the name of the person you want to speak to before you type your entry. 2) You’re limited to 250 keystrokes per entry. If your entry is long, then click “chat” to post it and start your next entry with the word “continued”. 3) Use the words “To All” if you have a general entry not directed to one person. 4) If you’d like to contact someone in the room, email or call us at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or 714-768-1777. We’ll have them contact you to exchange information.

6:04 Swanlake: Jim - glad you are back, sounds like a fun event and bet it was great to visit with old and new friends.

6:04 puddles: New here just going to listen for a while

6:04 Free to fly: Hello everyone

6:05 Still: Hi Free. Welcome, puddles.

6:05 Free to fly: Hi Still

6:07 Free to fly: Dr. C: H is taking OW to places where the family use to be. The children play a sport and he has recently been bringing her there. The kids are very embarrassed and have told him but just yesterday he took her there. The kids were not there but one of my D friends told him about it and called the OW an obscene name and it caused a big scene. H got upset. Do you think he is doing it to hurt me but it is really hurting the kids?

6:12 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: 6:07 Free to fly: Probably your husband is viewing the new woman as buying a new car. They don't see any problem with trading in the old car and showing off the new car. To most it is insensitive, but to him it's just showing off the new car. It's good that the kids are reacting because it may be a wake up call for him.

6:07 Still: Hi Plum.

6:08 hepsy: dr. Jim - when you were in mlc did you still have a physical relationship with your wife? My husband sleeps on couch and refuses intimacy. it has been almost 2 years...

6:09 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: 6:08 hepsy: Sally and I continued to have a physical relationship. Most of my crisis was wondering what was life all about and why am I working 100 hour weeks. ..... usually when a husband sleeps on the couch, it indicates that he is feeling guilty or that the sexual relationship is not very fulfilling.

6:08 Ro828: Jim: Is there ever a point when I can reach out to my ex even though we've had no contact since he left or do I just continue to work on me and let him come around if/when he is ready?

6:14 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: 6:08 Ro828: Yes it's best to just continue working on yourself and let him process midlife on his own. there may be some logical opportunities to contact him such as family events or achievements. But basically let him go thru this process on his own.

6:08 nutterbutter: Dr. Jim: My H has been in MLC for about 2.5 years. He is starting to open up to me and talk about what he experienced. But I'm afraid; I don't know how to begin to trust him.

6:15 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: 6:08 nutterbutter: Have you been able to identify why he wanted to be away from you. Let me ask you how you are doing in the three areas that midlife men complain about. 1. Midlife Men complain that their wives are naggy, controlling, and often boss them around like children (sometimes men do act like children). 2. Midlife Men complain that their wives are overweight, out of shape, and do not care about physical appearance. Men are very visual, & when their wife looks good to them, that translates that she is interested in sex. A high priority in a man’s life is regular, exciting sex for which he doesn’t have to beg. 3. Midlife Men complain that their wives have not had a new thought since they got married. They complain that their wives are not growing intellectually or in their careers, which makes them very dependent and clingy -- which is often negative to a midlife man. How are you doing in these three areas?

6:08 Plumcrazy: Jim---Glad to see you here

6:10 Free to fly: Still: How are you? Today I'm feeling like I'm losing this battle:) haven't given up but H seems so not interested in us but interested in OW and her family

6:11 Free to fly: Hey Plum/Swan/Ro828

6:11 Ro828: Swan: I'm glad too as I learn so much from them.

6:11 Ro828: Hi Free

6:12 Still: Free, This isn't an easy journey. Remember, no matter what it looks like, he is hurting, too. Hang in there. (((HUGS)))

6:12 Plumcrazy: All--seems to be a lot of us are feeling like giving up on our H's I think we are under attack !!!!

6:13 Free to fly: Thanks Dr. C.

6:13 Still: Hi Yoli.

6:14 Yoli: Still: I, how are you?

6:14 puddles: Jim-when my ex started his MLC he flipped just like a light switch. He just walked away from 17 yrs of marriage & his only son. How long does MLC last. We are in year 3? He just married the OW just weeks after the D was final.

6:17 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: 6:14 puddles: I would encourage you to get a copy of our book, "Moving On After He Moves Out" from Amazon.com. You can find a used copy there even. Normally men take about 3 years to go through the process, but when he moves on and marries someone else, then the playing field has changed and this book might be able to help you.

6:14 hepsy: dr. Jim - our sex life was good before. I found a note he wrote in his day timer that said 'draw lines at intimacy” which indicated to me he chose to stop having relationship with me. No evidence of OW.

6:18 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: 6:14 hepsy: Please read the same questions I just sent to 'Nutterbutter', Let me ask you how you are doing in the three areas that midlife men complain about. 1. Midlife Men complain that their wives are naggy, controlling, and often boss them around like children (sometimes men do act like children). 2. Midlife Men complain that their wives are overweight, out of shape, and do not care about physical appearance. Men are very visual, & when their wife looks good to them, that translates that she is interested in sex. A high priority in a man’s life is regular, exciting sex for which he doesn’t have to beg. 3. Midlife Men complain that their wives have not had a new thought since they got married. They complain that their wives are not growing intellectually or in their careers, which makes them very dependent and clingy -- which is often negative to a midlife man. How are you doing in these three areas?

6:14 Plumcrazy: Hi Yoli

6:14 Free to fly: Plum/all: I know I'm being attacked. Anyone has a new book I could read to keep me focused as well as some scripture?

6:14 Yoli: Plum: Hey, how are you?

6:15 puddles: Free- I find Psalm 80 good to read with our names in it

6:15 hepsy: still - you and I seem to have the same story. How are things with h now that you are back from vacation?

6:15 Free to fly: Thanks puddles.

6:15 Yoli: Jim: Okay, so why is it that OW has complete control over husband? He can't breathe without her telling him to. He just took her on vacation to Canada. Then going to see her parents. I don't get it.

6:20 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: 6:15 Yoli: Remember that people are attracted to each other because they meet each other's needs. People also stay married to each other because they continue to meet each other's needs. The OW is seemingly meeting his needs at this point. Somehow your husband did not think that you were doing that for him.

6:15 Free to fly: Hey MAS

6:15 nutterbutter: Free to fly: I have read Hinds Feet In High Places.

6:16 Plumcrazy: Yoli--Not very good. H and I were talking and he got upset. Said he is done with having any physical relationship with me. Started in about my past again

6:17 Yoli: Plum: Sorry to hear that. Isn't he from another culture? Not that this is bad, but I know how they think.

6:17 Still: Hepsy, He was gone the last two days. Went to visit a friend. Didn't call at all. He came in tonight and said hello. I feel very compelled to be alone tonight. I have been on the computer and haven't asked him about his trip.

6:17 Free to fly: puddles: My H switched as well. This year would have made 17, he's filed and the OW is talking of marriage as well

6:17 Plumcrazy: Jim---H still is calling me filthy names says he doesn’t want to be with me cause of my past. He said he stayed away from women like me that he never wanted to end up with a woman like me. I said my past is not WHO I am. That I had started changing before I met him and that I wasn't living that lifestyle when we got together. I said that his holy book says I should be forgiven and if I changed then HE should forgive me

6:25 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: 6:17 Plumcrazy: It's important to get your identity from God and not from other people. 1 John, chapter 1, verse 9, says, "If we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and will cleanse us of all unrighteousness." So when you give God your life, you are no longer the identity of your old life, and are made new. I think your husband brings up your past as a way to vent his anger toward you for some other issues. But don't let his opinions cloud your identity of who you are in God. Spend more time reading the New Testament of the Bible, it will help to give you a better picture of who you are now.

6:17 Ro828: Puddles: That's exactly how I describe what happened in my situation. It was like a switch was flipped. The strangest thing.

6:17 nutterbutter: Dr. Jim: I am working on my weight, my husband never had to beg or ask me for sex, and we had a very active sex life. I have returned to school. He didn't "physically" leave the home. He did however, spend a lot of time away from home. He did admit to an emotional affair. I should also add that he has continued to attend church with me through everything. He came to me and said he thought he was having a MLC.

6:33 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: 6:17 nutterbutter: I want to encourage you that your relationship sounds very promising, don't give up. Remember that men are very visual. If he has had an emotional affair with a woman that may mean that he has just fallen in love with her and fantasized about her. When you say you are working on your weight, how close are you to your wedding day weight? 10 or 15 pounds over your wedding day weight is not a problem., but 50-100 pounds is a big turn off for guys.

6:18 hepsy: still - I am sorry... I am up in my cave as well. (((hugs)))

6:18 Free to fly: nutterbutter: Who is it written by

6:18 puddles: Jim- so there is no hope after he goes thru his MLC?

6:27 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: 6:18 puddles: Generally after a man has married another woman, he is moving on with his life and it's important to be careful that you do not become the other woman for his new marriage.

6:18 puddles: Ro- yeah, isn’t it just weird

6:19 Free to fly: Still: ((((((HUGS)))))) Those 2 days must have been hard.

6:19 nutterbutter: Free to Fly: Hannah Whithall Smith

6:19 Still: Plum, he stopped that for a long period of time, didn't he?

6:19 MarySarah: Yoli I tried to call you recently, perhaps I should leave a message next time

6:19 Still: Hepsy, thanks for your kind words. What is going on with you?

6:20 MarySarah: MAS where have you been, we miss you for prayer time

6:20 Free to fly: nutterbutter: Thanks

6:20 Plumcrazy: Still---yes he did and I was so hopeful that his heart was changing

6:20 Still: Free, honestly, he has been traveling so much....it has become easier when he isn't here.....sadly, there is much less stress.

6:20 hepsy: dr. Jim - yes I used to be controlling but no more.. I am in great shape for my 48 years -105 lbs. -I went back to work as a preschool teacher 2 years ago..I still go to church - he refuses.. We served in ministry together 12 yrs..

6:35 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: 6:20 hepsy: I'm glad that you are working on the controlling issue, because most midlife men do not want to be mothered. They are looking for a fun companion.

6:21 Yoli: MarySarah: You know if I don't recognize a number, I won't answer. Yeah call again and do leave a message. I would love to speak with you. It's been a while.

6:21 Free to fly: Still: I know what you mean. Before my H moved out I would look forward to his trips because there was so much tension in the house

6:22 hepsy: still - doing ok I guess. The weekends are when I have the hardest time..

6:22 MarySarah: Jim 6:20 what if when you meet someone, they are a bottomless pit of needs? i.e. H was shoved around as kid & left tine after timer & then for good. It concerns me he only wanted a mother in some ways, but he always said he wanted trophy wife..a trophy ultimately sits on a shelf & collects dust. What if you a giving person who ask for little to nothing ....for me a little goes a VERY long way. marriage is for life & relationships are not disposable we get more when we give, for H he always needs more NOTHING was/is enough so why can't they figure out what the actually need & ask instead expecting perfection & everything? Can't tell you how many people(men) said how lucky H was & he would tell me that can't some people "need" too much & have their priorities really screwed up? Do you think its sin clouding their vision as to their real needs?

6:43 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: 6:22 MarySarah: Long question! Let me see if I can give a short answer. Generally women who are helpers, mothers, fixers, tend to marry very needy men. Unconscientiously the match is perfect, but by midlife most of that matching is out of sync because one or both of them have done some growing and no longer are functioning as they were. So the problem for a midlife couple is to understand each other from their new perspective and adjust to the new needs that they now have.

6:22 Still: Hi Blue!

6:22 Yoli: Jim: He still talks about how he had to get out of the situation he was in - with me. He still blames me for everything. The OW only meets his physical needs. She's mean and really nasty. He's seen it several times

6:47 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: 6:22 Yoli: Apparently he is willing to put up with her being mean and nasty to have the physical attraction satisfied. As I remember you from the retreat, you are a very pretty woman. Keep on top of staying an attractive woman in lots of ways.

6:23 Free to fly: hey Bluesky

6:24 Plumcrazy: Jim---He said that is great what was said by my Imam/priest That is ok for someone else not me. Why can’t he forgive me for that. Do you think it has to do with the woman that abused him? She was that type of woman---I know H is under stress with dept change at work and a pay cut. Both were decisions he made with out discussing it with me. 6H was so nasty I went downstairs for a couple of hrs. Later that morning He lifted the back of my pajama top up and placed his hand palm down on the small of my back. when I was lying on my back. I was so confused by that

6:50 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: 6:24 Plumcrazy: Probably some of his early childhood treatment is now popping up again in midlife. You mentioned that he was talking to a priest, hopefully they can work through some of those earlier issues.

6:24 MAS: Hi, Free to fly. How are you?

6:24 Bluesky1: Still, Free, hi all,

6:25 Yoli: Free to fly, Still: The counselor told me that it would be better to have husband move out because of all the tension. I personally don't think it was a good idea. But once he heard it, he was doing it regardless.

6:26 Bluesky1: hepsy, I was reading chat last night, and I wanted to tell you that my h said practically the same things that your h has said. About, being negative, he doesn't like me, etc...

6:27 Free to fly: Dr. C: H has no interest in our family, our friends, our children or work. He only does what he has to do to get by. He is really selfish. So as H gets use to his "new car" hopefully the newness will fade away.

6:51 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: 6:27 Free to fly: Your husband sounds very depressed and it would be good if he could have a check-up and perhaps even get help a bit with some of his depression. Part of a man at midlife is also acting like a teenager, selfish.

6:27 CindyJ: Hello everyone.

6:28 Free to fly: MAS: Feeling a little overwhelmed and alone, like this will never end and is pointless. They seem so happy

6:29 Swanlake: Yoli - @6:21 - me too! Anyone who knows me knows that if they are calling and I don't know the number or they have their phone set to block their number on caller ID, then when the answering machine beeps, start talking, if I am home I'll pick up, if I am not home, I will call you back. I just hate telemarketer calls, plus there was a time when my husband's other woman somewhat stalked me, so I just prefer not to open myself to that ever again.

6:30 hepsy: still and free to fly - yes, when my h is gone I can be downstairs and not up here in my cave. It is hard when h is sleeping on couch and I have to move around in dark when I want to go to the kitchen. ugh!

6:31 MAS: Hi MarySarah. I know we haven't talked for quite some time. Have been on the phone during prayer time for the last couple of weeks as it's still very early here at that hour. One of those calls was from my husband and it was a lengthy conversation.

6:31 Plumcrazy: Hello Cindy

6:32 puddles: free - I totally understand that one! My faith has really taken a nose dive

6:33 MarySarah: Jim I looked again &@ 6:20 where you said SEEMINGLY & they THINK OW is meeting their needs, I guess that really is answer to that question....We are all praying against deception, blindness, deafness & hard heartedness that all lead our H's this point

6:54 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: 6:33 MarySarah: Satin will attack any weak area in a man's life. So our task is not only to pray for God's protection, but also to do what we can to eliminate the weak areas for potential attack.

6:33 hepsy: bluesky1 - weird how they seem to follow the same script.. what is with that??

6:35 Yoli: Jim: But you know that if my h hadn't done this I never would have gone on the missions. I never would have met my 13 year old prayer partner that is now the love of my life. He just wants to be loved and so do I. I think that's why we bonded.

6:59 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: 6:35 Yoli: It is true that some of the very negative things that happen in our lives open up doors for new growth and maturity.

6:35 MarySarah: Free I guess after I looked again @ what Jim said @ 6:20.....the OW SEEMS to meet their needs & H's THINK they are happy...........God reminded me that even in ps. 73 the wicked seem to prosper but God will show us differently. Our H's are in sin & captive God hears prayers & answers them

6:36 Yoli: Swan: Yep me to. If I'm here and I hear someone I know, I'll pick up. I'm worse with my cell phone. Won't respond if I don't know the number. Sorry.

6:36 Plumcrazy: Hello Tamashii !!!!!

6:38 Tamashii: Hi Cindy...

6:38 MarySarah: Jim 6:27 I am confused @ this statement a bit are you saying we don't want to operate like that , or that we don't stand for our own marriage?

7:00 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: 6:38 MarySarah: I believe that we should "stand" for our marriages up to the point where we are divorced and the husband has married someone else. I see too many women giving up on their marriages too early, when there is really quite a bit of hope.

6:41 nutterbutter: Jim: My weight fluctuates due to some medications, but I am working even harder to get it under control. I have had some health challenges since this all began, I had a couple of small strokes.

7:02 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: 6:41 nutterbutter: I know that losing weight is a tough task, because the doctor has asked me to lose 30 pounds. So far I'm down 16 pounds, and it is really hard work. I have found that I need to drop sugar from my diet and I need to also daily exercise or I can't lose weight and sustain the weight loss. So I want to cheer you on to keep working at it.

6:41 Tamashii: Hey Plum

6:41 Tamashii: Hi Cindy!

6:42 MarySarah: Free 6:27 when they always need new & different, they are still searching & trying to fill void only God can fill Pray God gets a hold of H & changes his heart & spirit, that God breaks spirit of rebellion & shows H that He(God) will fill him & save

6:43 puddles: Thank you all look forward to chatting again, I have to run...

6:43 MAS: Free to fly@6:28: Yes, they do seem happy. I know that my H really enjoys living alone. He never had his own place before we were married, so he really likes being able to come and go as he pleases.

6:45 hepsy: dr. Jim - but now he refuses to do anything with me.. how can I be a fun companion if he refuses to even be my companion.?

7:03 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: 6:45 hepsy: It's possible to be a fun person without necessarily being a fun companion to your husband. Everyone else should know that you are a fun person. And the word will get around to your husband.

6:46 MarySarah: Jim 6:35 That made sense to me, but the more I tried having fun, being intimate, dressing a bit younger even, the more my H pulled away. It's like we weren't allowed to have fun & he put me in role of his secretary/wife mother maybe he was trying to make excuses even then, (before he left), to try to justify his exit or as I suspect, he was involved with ow long before he left despite what he says...I was always his old standby so to speak, I missed our fun young days too It seemed even when I tried to physically get close to H, even holding hands in public, he pushed away as early as 2 yrs before he left. He even started going to bed really early & working more, not having lunch with me when I stopped by work It was very painful & I kept hoping he would be close to me again someday. I get very angry I must admit that the ow gets so much time, attention, fun, affection, & even provisions that I was denied it seemed purposefully

7:05 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: 6:46 MarySarah: All of the things you mentioned are clear indicators of a many who is having an affair, either physical or emotional. The reason your husband rejected your changes is that he'd have to come back if you kept changing. So he's trying to block out your changes so he doesn't have to emotionally return to you.

6:48 CindyJ: Hi Tamashii

6:49 Plumcrazy: Mary---I think Jim meant not to become the OW if H gets remarried is all. Don’t become what we dislike so much now

6:51 Plumcrazy: Jim---H says every few months this happens and it seems like you are holding on to a small window of false hope that things will work out.. Why would what I say bother him if he DOESNT care about me at all as he claims?

7:06 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: 6:51 Plumcrazy: He does still care about you, but he's not willing to risk putting all of his eggs in your basket at this time. Keep asking God for healing and keep on working on your own growth and change.

6:51 Ro828: Hey Tamashii. How are you tonight?

6:55 Plumcrazy: hello Swan

6:55 Ro828: MarySarah: 6:42. I agree. Changing external does not fix internal. Only God can do that. No OW. Plus, we are not the reason why they decide(d) to do what they do/did. It's internal within them. We can change but they need to change also.

6:56 Yoli: Jim: Well thank you. It's so very hard for me to see myself that way. I'm working so very hard at being a better person. I loved going to Bolivia. I felt God so very close to me there while in the Andes. It was so beautiful.

6:57 Swanlake: Hello Plumcrazy

6:59 Swanlake: Yoli — I second what Jim said, you are a very beautiful woman, soft spoken and your love for Christ radiates from you for all to see.

7:00 MarySarah: Jim 6:43 that makes perfect sense. I didn't even mother my H but I am sure that he was looking for that when we met & he is in some weird way rebelling against me as he didn't his mom bc she left him So how if I already tried to be more playful & fun & he would not allow or accept that, can I be that way with him. This ow is really needy & manipulative but is the "fun" gal all her life is it my H can't see me in any other role? could his shame really be that deep that he blames me but really does feel I deserve better(he said that in beginning) Darn it I want some fun too

7:02 Plumcrazy: Jim--Unfortunately H isn’t seeing a priest. It was an article on a website by a Muslim cleric

7:03 MarySarah: Yoli Amen to what Jim said!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!You ARE beautiful in MANY ways!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God is at work in and around you. You may not see His hand, hear His voice or even understand His process, but you can rest assured that you can trust His heart. Remember, every problem points to a promise. "We can rejoice when we run into problems... they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady." Romans 5:3-4

7:07 MarySarah: Ro828 6:55 that is sooo very true & I must say, that is where the enemy tries to attack me so I am refusing to let him, for many years I was told there was a lot wrong with me, esp. since MLC now everything in H's mind is wrong, that is a lie BUT our H often say things about us that they don't like in self & what a horrible place for them to be. If we can remember the hurtful things said about us are reflection of their pain it helps us & we can better love & help them

7:07 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: ALL - I am going to sign off now, and we will be praying for all of you. Hope to see you next week. Good bye.

7:08 Plumcrazy: Jim---Goodnite and give Jan my love. Please take care of yourself and your beautiful wife

7:09 LisaK [Programmer]: Dear Heavenly Father, thank you that we made it through most of the chat session before the bugs started in on us. Thank you that Jim was able to be with us tonight, and for our new guests in the chat room too. I pray that tonight's chat session will bless those that were here live, and also those who will read it in the future. Please hide us, Lord, and glorify Yourself through the chat and illuminate to each individual reading this, what You want them to learn from it. Thank Your for Jesus, the ultimate gift You gave us. Thank You for being our God. In Jesus' Name I pray. Amen.

7:09 Plumcrazy: AMEN

7:09 nutterbutter: Amen and goodnight to all.

7:09 Swanlake: Goodnight all, see you Wednesday evening

7:09 Plumcrazy: Lisa--Was it you who told me the chat retreat was going to be in CA in Nov?

7:10 LisaK [Programmer]: This is Lisa signing off now too. Good night everyone. Please come back on Wednesday evening to meet with our amazing facilitators. They are truly Godly woman and full of great advice and encouragement for everyone.

7:10 LisaK [Programmer]: Closing down in 5

7:11 Plumcrazy: Lisa---Can I ask that my H and be held up in prayers as we try to deal with our past demons and somehow manage to rebuild our relationship

7:11 Plumcrazy: Goodnite

7:11 LisaK [Programmer]: YES - We are currently planning the retreat in CA in November, probably the first weekend. Please start saving now to purchase tickets, etc. :o)

7:11 MarySarah: God bless & goodnight to all!

7:12 LisaK [Programmer]: Plumcrazy @ 7:11, we will keep you in prayer. Love you.

7:12 LisaK [Programmer]: good night.

6:07 Free to fly: Dr. C: H is taking OW to places where the family use to be. The children play a sport and he has recently been bringing her there. The kids are very embarrassed and have told him but just yesterday he took her there. The kids were not there but one of my D friends told him about it and called the OW an obscene name and it caused a big scene. H got upset. Do you think he is doing it to hurt me but it is really hurting the kids?

6:12 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: 6:07 Free to fly: Probably your husband is viewing the new woman as buying a new car. They don't see any problem with trading in the old car and showing off the new car. To most it is insensitive, but to him it's just showing off the new car. It's good that the kids are reacting because it may be a wake up call for him.

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