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Nov. 30, 2009 / with Jim Conway

6:11 bittersweet: Dr. Jim Conway: I sent you an email today. Basically ,I have been doing all you said to do. As a result we have restored marriage except he keeps emailing her . Also I noticed by doing paper work that he calls her every time he leaves. He told me all kinds of beautiful things like I am a very rare and precious Gem and I am the wind beneath his wings and He loves me so much and it does not get better than this to me. I am confused why he continues with her then????

6:16 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: bittersweet: He is keeping his options open -- he is not sure that your changes will really last -- keep demonstrating that you are a changed woman who will not be a controller -- allow trust to grow.

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6:01 LisaK [Programmer]: Hi Chat Room Guests. I’m Lisa, the Office Manager for Midlife Dimensions. I enjoy serving the Lord through our Chat Room Ministry which has helped so many people through the tough times of midlife crisis. Remember, Jim always offers his live counseling in the chat room without cost. If you wish to make a tax-deductible donation to our ministry to support the Website/Chat Room upkeep, please do so at www.Midlife.com. Thank you. Jim will be online with us momentarily, he will read your questions and dictate his replies to me so I can type them for you to read. Jim has time for all questions that are posted before the end of the hour. Thanks for understanding.

6:02 Swanlake: Hello everyone

6:02 MAS: Hi everyone.

6:03 Plumcrazy: JIM-I hope you are feeling better and are well rested

6:03 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: Hi Everyone, I’m in Seattle, and enjoyed Thanksgiving with 2 of my 3 daughters, and their children.

6:03 sbky: hello everyone

6:03 Plumcrazy: Jim-It is nice that you got to spend TG with family

6:04 MAS: Plum: Did you get my e-mail with the information you wanted?

6:04 sbky: plum did you add me to yahoo

6:04 Kathy215: Jim: That's great. I’m glad you had a nice Thanksgiving.

6:04 sbky: dr conway. my h has showed me several winks in the last few weeks... tiny but still there

6:12 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: sbky: All of those little events are encouraging -- but keep discovering what his needs really are and do whatever you can to meet those needs -- ask God to meet the rest. Affirmation is always a plus when you can work it in.

6:05 BlueSky: Hi Jim, I am wondering if I should ask my h to hang the Xmas lights or I should TRY to do it myself. I am not sure what message that would send.

6:09 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: BlueSky: If your husband is acting friendly and wondering how he can help, then ask him. If he's acting grouchy and feels as if he's being exploited, get someone else to do it.

6:06 Kathy215: Jim: I went away with my H for a weekend in October. We're going to a concert Dec 13 and will stay overnight. I’m scared because the last time he pulled away from me big time afterwards. Why does he do that?

6:10 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: Kathy215: He wants to be with you, but he's afraid of getting too close. He is learning how to trust again. Keep working on all of your growth and change so that it is obvious to him.

6:06 Plumcrazy: JIm-H and I were talking today, He is having some health issues but refuses to see Dr. I said it hurts me to see you this way. Why won’t you do anything to feel better. H said "I will feel better soon. He says maybe he is getting close to death. -So I asked him "How, by dying?" He said either that or maybe God coming into his life." I almost fainted He had NEVER said anything like that before.

6:14 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: Plumcrazy: It looks as if God is orchestrating a major spiritual change event in your husband's life -- YEAAA GOD!!

6:08 Plumcrazy: MAs_yes thank you for the info

6:08 Plumcrazy: Sbky_I haven’t added you yet got busy will do it later

6:08 MAS: Plum: Your welcome.

6:08 sbky: plum ok

6:09 BlueSky: Jim, Haha, I like how you said, get someone else, instead of me trying!!

6:11 bittersweet: Dr. Jim Conway: I sent you an email today. Basically ,I have been doing all you said to do. As a result we have restored marriage except he keeps emailing her . Also I noticed by doing paper work that he calls her every time he leaves. He told me all kinds of beautiful things like I am a very rare and precious Gem and I am the wind beneath his wings and He loves me so much and it does not get better than this to me. I am confused why he continues with her then????

6:16 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: bittersweet: He is keeping his options open -- he is not sure that your changes will really last -- keep demonstrating that you are a changed woman who will not be a controller -- allow trust to grow.

6:13 Plumcrazy: SBKY_Just added you on Messenger

6:13 sbky: dr conway.. I called him to ask him for some pictured I needed of our daughter. he said he couldn’t get them right now. and told me where he was going and who with. I was floored.

6:19 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: sbky: Be careful not to have your emotions tied to what your husband says or doesn't say -- that's why I urge you to have a close intimate walk with God. He may have said this as a way to test your reactions -- it's best if you don't react, but turn back to God for strength.

6:14 Plumcrazy: JIM_this came after a nice Thanksgiving with his family. I wanted to say something after H said maybe God would come into his life But I didn’t want to pressure him. Do you think he was being genuine since he has never said anything like that before. I pray that is how he feels

6:20 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: Plumcrazy: It isn't necessary for you to fully understand if his comments were real. Just continue to ask God to work on both of your lives.

6:15 bittersweet: Dr. Jim Conway: That is beneath his wings at 6:14

6:21 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: bittersweet: It's nice your husband makes comments about the strength you are to him.

6:16 sbky: plum thanks. it doesn’t look like face book will let us talk

6:17 Kathy215: Jim: Do the Holidays make them feel any different - does it make them realize what they're missing, or does it make them pull away more?

6:22 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: Kathy215: Actually they have both reactions -- they feel sad -- and many men go into their caves.

6:17 Surety2: hi all..... gonna read and catch up k

6:18 Surety2: Jim

6:18 Plumcrazy: Sbky I am on Yahoo more anyway

6:18 Surety2: PTL holidays with family is wonderful

6:18 sbky: plum I am always on there

6:19 sbky: jim. I haven’t reacted to him. just noticing he is different..

6:21 Surety2: JIM: thank you for all your ear at the retreat I really appreciated it. I have come to terms with the fact that I left to pursue a job, of which I have never found peace..... I pray that Lord willing he will bring it all back around, and put all pieces back into place to find a job at home, open the hearts of each of us to reconstruct our marriage. I have been really getting urging that I need to let God change me, step back, and to take a step of faith in moving back.

6:24 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: Surety2: It is fun to watch the obvious working of God in your life -- just relax and take the next steps with Him.

6:21 Plumcrazy: JIM--I asked H how come he doesn’t like it when people care about him. He said that it makes him feel he owes them something. H said that he is afraid that he won’t be able to love them back then quickly added OR I don’t want to love them

6:26 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: Plumcrazy: This is a common reaction of an insecure person who is afraid that they will never be perfect enough in their relationships. The solution is to begin building his self-esteem with lots of affirmation about the qualities that you really appreciate about him.

6:21 bittersweet: Dr. Jim Conway: I AM REALLY TEMPTED TO ASK HIM WHY HE IS CALLING HER WHEN HE TOLD ME THAT HE DID NOT GO SEE HER OR CALL HER...ONLY EMAIL. I have been quiet for 6 weeks this time. I want to talk to him about all this again. Dr. Jim Conway: What about me? I want to be chased by him and him end all this so we can be totally restored/ I have had an emotional fall out but I put on a show and don’t let him know when he is in town trying to keep it going. Not sure how long

6:27 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: bittersweet: Remember that your husband is interpreting all of your questioning as trying to control him. A good marriage relationship is when each person voluntarily gives themselves fully to the other.

6:24 Surety2: Jim, why is it that our honesty makes them run, clam up?

6:30 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: Surety2: Remember that men don't like to talk about their emotions. Guys feel more comfortable sitting on the couch with the remote control and something good to drink as they watch Monday night football - with no one speaking in the room. GUYS DON'T LIKE TO SHARE THEIR FEELINGS!!!!

6:24 Plumcrazy: JIm- Last week H picked me up from work and was in a hurry to get back to his work cause there were problems. He yelled at me. I said why are you yelling at ME H said you are the dumping ground. The bucket that catches all the crap. Had to laugh

6:30 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: Plumcrazy: Any time people are stressed by problems, we lose all of our abilities to be nice, and frequently take it out on people who will not reject us if we dump on them.

6:25 Surety2: Jim: thank you..... I have bumps on my head from His big bat :o) LOL

6:25 Kathy215: Jim: My H is making a big thing out of laughing about how he's not celebrating Christmas with no decorations, no tree, no gifts, nothing.

6:32 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: Kathy215: Remember that midlife men are basically just older teenage boys. It's a rebellion thing - don't worry about it.

6:27 Surety2: All sbky made a really neat comment yesterday about changing her pray from her h coming back, to Gods work in his life. And her sweet d took that and ran with it and changed her prays to meet Mom. Precious I thought

6:27 Lia: bittersweet Restoration is a process, just like when they are in far country trying/ deciding to come home. It must be hard wanting this so badly, but trust me. My H may have started in MLC many yrs ago & stalled out he refused to get to any issues &

6:28 Surety2: Jim@ 627 to bittersweet..... do they truly ever voluntarily give themselves fully to us as they exit MLC or is that a process too?

6:32 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: Surety2: Yes, this is a process.

6:29 Lia: bittersweet cont: I immediately forgave & tried to go on like usual. Didn't pressure him, didn't H went into new job-higher position-lots travel for 3 yrs, then own business & 40 hit & success too & MLC was full force. It takes time to really let

6:29 sbky: Jim I spent thanksgiving with my h's family. he was there. he sat with me and the kids and his dad. his mom was in a different place. and he had 50 other people he could have sat with

6:35 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: sbky: His decision to sit with his family is a good sign.

6:29 Swanlake: Kathy215 - Christmas is stressful enough for all the rest of the world, can you imagine how much that stress level is increased for a person in midlife crisis and when they are stressed, typically they run, ignore, avoid - just like he is the holiday

6:30 Lia: bittersweet cont heal & get to issues God's way & time. Not saying this would happen to your H, just that recovery is starting, try not to force it but with the knowledge you have of MLC & support of others, you can help

6:31 Surety2: Jim@ 630 I am learning to understand h silence..... I hate it and miss his voice, but learning to understand the silence without stressing.....

6:32 bittersweet: Dr. Jim Conway: I hope I don't just bust and tell him all this. It does not seem fair for me to have to hold all this inside. I can't fully give myself to him like I want to because I have a lot of pain. Dr. Jim Conway and Lia: There are just too many rules. I am getting sicker every day. Sometimes I want to check myself into the hospital seriously and tell everyone to go away.

6:37 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: bittersweet: Remember that you can either internalize this pain and try to be God in this situation, or you can surrender these issues to God and let Him worry about them. I’m guessing that some of your physical stress is directly related to trying to control the situation rather than giving it over to God.

6:33 Lia: Jim, My H often found tons faults in me & I was always center of attention in his circles, job inc. & the boss. Yet I can't even try to affirm him & he will still get angry over everything suggestions? With a constantly angry man in perpetual replay, is it time to "go dark" as you all say? Since any revelations from my H are few & far between because his anger, justifications & projection, would it ever help to write a few points he's made with some grains true feelings & address them on tape from my point ie. how I understand what he's saying & give it to him if he chooses to listen? He doesn't ever want sit & talk or even try to be cordial, I think if something awful happened, he may be happy. He only says truth mixed with spewing garbage when he's mad & rarely @ that

6:41 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: Lia: Frequently midlife men are just mad, mad, mad! They are angry at everybody and everything and they don't know why they are angry. Generally it is an indication of the internal conflicts that are raging within them. They need a quiet time to sort this all out, and they need supportive friends who will silently pray for them -- without counseling them.

To all: This is Lisa the Office Manager. I just want to remind you that if you have a private question you don’t wish to discuss here, please consider scheduling a 1-on-1 phone counseling session with Jim. Contact us at 714-768-1777 or This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to set up a session. You can find information on phone counseling on our website: www.midlife.com. Remember, Jim always offers his live counseling in the chat room without cost. If you wish to donate to our ministry to support the Website/Chat Room upkeep, please do so at www.Midlife.com. Thank you.

6:34 Swanlake: Surety2 - men can sit in a room with other people for hours and no one speak a word, women on the other hand become uncomfortable in silence, we feel that it is rude and as if we are ignoring people, so we usually keep a conversation going. I think

6:35 Plumcrazy: JIM@6:30- I am so glad we have YOU It gives us a unique insight into our H's. That is comforting to know about the H

6:35 Swanlake: Surety2 - continued - it was my time in the Marine Corps which assisted me in becoming very comfortable with silence in a room full of people. My husband used to brag on me, saying that he loved that I didn't have to run my mouth all the time, we

6:36 Plumcrazy: JIM@6:30 --I kinda thought that is what he meant anyway and you confirmed it Thank YOU

6:37 Surety2: Swan: I know it’s a broken record..... I would give my chocolate up just to be in the same room with him.... right now.

6:37 sbky: surety. that can be just as painful.. as not being in the same room

6:37 Surety2: Swan@ 635..... that’s a great compliment from him...

6:38 Surety2: sbky painful? giving up my chocolate?

6:38 Swanlake: Surety2 - continued - were so connected that we didn't have to talk to be connected with each other. Many of his friends would say, wish my wife would learn that. So, learn to become comfortable with the silence now and it will help prepare you for

6:38 Swanlake: Surety2 - continued - for when your marriage is completely reconciled.

6:38 Kathy215: Jim: My H, my D, and I have been going to church together every week and I thank God for that. We started doing it so that my 14 year old D would go every week, but I've enjoyed it. And it's great that it's kept my H going, too.

6:43 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: Kathy215: I’m glad that your daughter has been the cause/push for all of you to start going to church.

6:38 Plumcrazy: Surety@6:31 I know how you feel That is what I hate that we don’t talk. Especially after the kids go to bed and he is playing online game

6:39 sbky: surety. no being in the same room my h left me but he was always around next door at my in-laws..it was like my h was dead. but there was this copy that everyone gets but me..

6:39 sbky: surety it is still that way. but I finally got use to him being "dead" to me

6:39 Lia: Bittersweet 6:34 Only God can help you heal & give you peace & strength & wisdom. Your H is not in a position now to heal you. Unfair as it is, sometimes the hurt LBS needs take lead God works with willing regardless who did hurting

6:41 Surety2: Plum/sbky..... we are separate..... do see each other right now..... it’s not forever, but for now that’s what is good for him.

6:41 Lia: Surety2 6:37 That's serious sacrifice! I love chocolate, but understand how you feel. I'd give my right arm & the OW any money & possessions I had to if she'd go away!

6:41 Swanlake: Surety2 - I am there with you, I would give up chocolate forever for just a brief phone call from my husband, and to actually get to see him, be in the same room, I would give up anything, except God, my children and grandchild.

6:42 Surety2: Lia...don’t ret she will go away in time...... chocolate is a cure all at my house for everything so it’s a HUGE sacrifice Huge!

6:43 Lia: Bittersweet. The words I keep hearing for you are surrender & cease striving & KNOW that I am God. Remember, His word says this is His battle, we just need to be willing to allow Him to use us & be beside Him in battle He will fight & restore

6:43 sbky: lia if she goes away and he isn’t better there will just be another ow

6:43 Surety2: Swan: I feel like I have pretty much given up all my family no chocolate yet...... but he still does not believe that I could make a family with just him

6:44 Surety2: Lia oops I meant fret

6:44 bittersweet: Dr. Conway: What would be so bad at this point since we have a really good marriage (except for this) to ask him to talk to me about all this? It would be better than me being sick? If he truly loves me he won’t leave me for expressing my feelings. It really hurts that he calls her when he leaves here on a trip. If I am so great and wonderful I just don't get it at all. It makes me want to shut down and say ok!! Whatever.

6:49 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: bittersweet: I’m not sure you are getting the message -- as kindly as possible let me say that you HAVE to let this stuff go and quit talking and thinking about it, or you are going to drive your husband away, and your physical body will pay the price for not letting this tension go. Obviously, it's your choice -- but I hope that you choose to give this all to God and quit wrestling with it. Remember - you are also using your sickness as a way to control your husband.

6:44 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: We still have about 15 minutes left, and Before anyone logs out, I want to thank you all for coming. Please come again and invite your friends! Remember; the Sun./Wed./Fri. sessions are open to share and encourage each other, with the assistance of our trained facilitators.. The Mon. session is primarily a Q and A time with me in the room. Chat room hours are: Sunday, Wednesday and Friday: 6-7 pm Pacific Time. Monday (live chat with me): 6–7 pm Pacific Time. And don’t forget Saturdays at 1:00 pm PST.

6:45 Lia: Jim 6:41 I have asked some godly men who H knows & respects to specifically pray for him & am not sharing much detail @ all. I thing H needs that. I wondered about giving him card from our pastor & male pastor/counselor we see if he ever wants yes/no

6:51 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: Lia: I’m glad that you have Godly men to connect with your husband -- but be careful that you don't try to tell men how they should connect to men -- they may feel that you are controlling them as well as your husband. This could be a form of manipulation.

6:46 Lia: Surety It's huge here too, even for my son! I understand : - )

6:46 Surety2: Lia as hard as it is you have to get to a place where you can totally forgive her whether she is gone or not, and pray that God will send her back to her mate or the mate He has for her. Place a hedge of thorns around her and pray your h will lose interest in her and visa versa

6:47 Lia: SBKY 6:43 probably. I pray all those involved against all evil & release good spirits like fruit of spirit & God remove her & all ties & not allow another in but first for H to see ugly truth first

6:48 sbky: lia that is good. we just have to remember the ow isn’t the problem she is a symptom

6:48 Swanlake: Lia - it is great that these godly men are praying for your husband, however, if you give him a card from them, his first assumption is going to be that you are trying to control him and using these men to do it, secondly he is going to believe you

6:48 Lia: Surety 6:46 I do that often, sometimes I've even cried for her family, esp her child never having family intact & now another imposter to live with

6:49 Lia: SBKY 6:48 here, here

6:49 Swanlake: Lia - continued - running around telling other people things about him (usually a major no-no with men, they don't like to be talked about). He isn't going to believe that they don't know any details and are just praying for him. He might become

6:50 Swanlake: Lia - continued - even more angry and consider them to be interfering in his life, which will create lots of resentment.

6:51 Lia: Swan probably right. I think he knows our Pastor WOULD NOT JUDGE HIM & THE OTHER MEN he rarely sees, so God may or may not use them. It could be a stranger, one gentleman has land next to ours I won't do cards

6:52 Lia: Swan 6:50 You are prob correct there. I haven't even said word to H that anyone is praying for him. In fact it was over yr before son's coach's mom came up to me in church & said her son told her we were sep & she is praying too.

6:53 bittersweet: Dr. Jim Conway: I understand and thanks. I don’t tell him I am sick. I just get upset because I have put a lot into this. Then I find out he calls when he leaves. That really makes one mad when you give your all.

6:55 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: bittersweet: Everyone in the room understands the frustration and anger that you feel. But all of us have learned to let go so that we might experience heeling and wholeness.

6:54 Surety2: Lia: I don’t even talk with my parents or my children..... I have one confidant at church..... and only for my walk and for his salvation

6:54 Lia: Jim 6:51 Yes, I have only asked them to specifically pray for H, so if H ever sees them, it will not be because of me. I do think having men specifically pray for him esp. from church is good, There are 4 or 5 them I asked pray specifically for H. I really am kind of at loss how to ever edify or connect with my H. Although he was grateful I said I'd bring kids to his work one afternoon to celebrate his bday @ lunch time as night b4

6:59 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: Lia: That is a wonderful blessing. And remember that you'll have to give over all of the edifying and teaching of your husband to these men.

6:55 Plumcrazy: Bittersweet You have to find a way to let go of this I know it is hard. I lost half of my hair during the worst part of this

6:56 sbky: bitter if you can’t let go you will drive yourself absolutely crazy

6:56 Lia: Surety2 6:54 That's great. I haven't shared any details with my church family except pastor & one restored couple Not my fam either they love him & having to heal from this & relationship with in-laws is enough I want fam to welcome him freely

6:56 Jo2: bittersweet - Do you understand what Jim is saying to you? You are CHOOSING to do something that will backfire on you. 1 Cor 13:4-7 reminds us of what love IS. It is kind, patient, trusts, hopes. My favorite: love keeps no record of wrongs.

6:56 Plumcrazy: Bittersweet----Then you will be PLUMCRAZY like me there can’t be two of us LOL

6:58 sbky: lia isn’t that we need to stop trying to connect and leave that for our h when they are ready?

6:59 Jo2: Bittersweet - continued. You can choose to honor your covenant by showing honor to your husband even when he does not deserve it. He is deceived if he thinks that he is not playing with fire, but you can save the day with unconditional LOVE.

6:59 Lia: Jim cont when it was his bday our dtr had play he attended He seemed pleased with extra time with them plus He kept son extra to hunt TG day & I think that was good. Opening day H told son they had time show me son's deer 1st one!

7:00 Surety2: bittersweet....we all done a lot of crying, screaming, had our days of anger...... but trying to learn to pull ourselves up but the seat of our pants and take another step. Matt 6:34 ... says not to worry about yesterday because it is gone.

7:00 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: All: it's been a good evening together. I'd ask that you pray for Jan often, as she is going through all of her radio talk show interviews. Know that we're praying for you too.

7:01 Lia: Jim cont H asked dtr how my dad was doing & said to tell dad hi @ TG He is also connecting more with older friends @ hunting camp, but took ow too I pray it's some sort re-connect but could be try get more support

7:01 Surety2: just learn from it..... tomorrow may never come.... so concentrate on today because today has enough trouble of it’s own

7:01 Plumcrazy: Lia@6:59. You had a God wink when H said they had time to show you S's 1st deer. He wanted to share that with you He didnt have to do that

7:01 Surety2: Bittersweet we are all here for you...

7:01 sbky: goodnight all

7:01 bittersweet: Dr. Jim Conway, sbky, Plumcrazy: I don't know how to let go. I am in a lot of pain. I am going to risk saying this....when your husband is home and it’s a big honey moon...get it ? and then he keeps emailing and calling her when he leaves it’s a slap in

7:02 Surety2: Jim: PTL for you and May God bless Jan and her radio interview, that God would bet all the glory

7:02 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: Good night all. I’m going to join my family for dinner now. God Bless.

7:02 Lia: Jim 6:59 Thank you, maybe H is sooo angry he won't hear me for long time I always respected hi in all he did & edified him quite a bit before. Perhaps he really needs this from men & not me or OW

7:02 Swanlake: Goodnight all, blessing, peace and joy be with you.

7:02 Jo2: Bittersweet - continued - But, you will not succeed if you are IMPATIENT and think what you do will work in YOUR TIMING. Let it be in GOD'S TIMING. Be in it for the long haul and don't give up every time your h fails you.

7:02 Plumcrazy: Bittersweet_ HE is at HOME with you!!! Think about that He isn’t with HER"

7:02 sbky: bittersweet. I can’t imagine having your h home and going through that..

7:02 Surety2: Night all have a great week

7:03 Plumcrazy: JIM_Goodnite Give Jan our love

7:03 Plumcrazy: Jim and love to you too Sorry I didn’t say that before OL

7:03 Lia: Plum 7:01 yes but I screwed up & sent text saying thank you for sharing I’m proud of my men & H texted back which he usually doesn't & said I am not your man! That hurt

7:04 sbky: jo there is a song that says "if you want to hear God laugh tell him YOUR plans

7:04 Lia: Bittersweet 7:02 Plum is right PTL

7:04 Jo2: Bittersweet - Sorry, I meant "every time" in my last entry.

7:04 Lia: Libby Hi there darling how are you?

7:05 Jo2: sbky - I had not heard that. Interesting how we take so long to get it.

7:05 sbky: bittersweet. know we are praying for you..

7:05 sbky: jo it is a country song

7:06 LisaK [Programmer]: heyyyyyyyyyy LIBBY! When did you sneak in?

7:06 Plumcrazy: Bittersweet _My H is Home and there isn’t any other woman. I know it is hard sounds like H is still insecure and that is why he contacts HER

7:06 Lia: Libby H has in past expressed negative feelings that people recognize partner in business more than him a recent article was taken out context & H was razzed by some employees. I know respect is needed & understanding I wonder if giving partner stuff

7:06 bittersweet: sbky: Thanks for prayers

7:06 Jo2: Bittersweet - Please think about what we are saying. You are

7:07 LisaK [Programmer]: All - I'll be closing in about 1 minute, so you'll have time to type a quick goodbye.

7:07 sbky: night all

7:07 Plumcrazy: Time to go already?

7:07 Lia: Libby cont on MLC would help partner's frustration & help him better understand & support H

7:07 Plumcrazy: Goodnite everyone Love you all

7:07 LisaK [Programmer]: "Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare. Give ear and come to me; hear me, that your soul may live" (Isaiah 55:2-3).

7:08 Lia: OOOh I like that one Lisa!

7:08 Jo2: Bittersweet - Oops .... You are "choosing" the outcome, whether you realize it or not. Do you journal? Trying writing down your thoughts about what is going on .... look for signs that you are easing from fear to TRUSTing GOD.

7:08 bittersweet: Al: thanks for all your help.

7:09 Plumcrazy: LIsa-Can we pray that H lets God come into his life. Did you read what H said about God?

7:09 LisaK [Programmer]: Jesus, healing comes through You. Thank you for that promise. Instead of seeking a revenge, help us to focus our energies on maturing in You. In Jesus Name, Amen.

7:09 bittersweet: Jo 2: I am trying to live in victory but it is harder than I realised.

7:09 Plumcrazy: Amen

7:10 Lia: Lisa K AMEN 7:09

7:10 Jo2: Bittersweet - God knows that your husband is playing with fire. Let God choose how your husband learns to honor his covenant. You honor the covenant with God's help, one day at a time.

7:10 bittersweet: Lisa K: I am really trying to live in that victory we talked about. I am just under attack. LOOK OUT!

7:11 Lia: Bittersweet change your focus to all God is doing to help you both heal & go forward Don't let satan plant fear doubt or worry & keep you in past God has you in home stretch & you will come in first if you stick with Lord

7:11 bittersweet: Lia: OK

7:12 LisaK [Programmer]: Heavenly Father, please continue to work your wonders in Plumcrazy's husband. Bring him closer to you and the knowledge of your Word being Truth. Bring Salvation to him soon, that he may be born again to be a new creation in You, and live an amazing life glorifying you in all ways. In Jesus Name, Amen.

7:12 Jo2: Bittersweet - I know dear friend that this is hard... but do not ignore your part in bringing your husband to his senses. Love is the answer, not control of your husband's choices. Be the best wife (and the better friend).

7:12 Lia: Now we need some red, snowflakes, Christmas trees & music & we're all set

7:13 LisaK [Programmer]: OK all. I’m closing the door, you'll all be booted out in a few seconds. Goodnight.

7:13 Lia: Jo2 AMen 7:12

7:13 bittersweet: All: GOOD NIGHT

7:13 Lia: God Bless us everyone!

7:13 LisaK [Programmer]: Take time to pray for each other tonight, and every time you look at a clock that reads all the same numbers: 4:44, or 2:22, or 1:11.

7:13 Plumcrazy: Goodnite

7:13 LisaK [Programmer]: 5- 4- 3- 2-

7:13 LisaK [Programmer]: 1..............

7:13 LisaK [Programmer]: Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

6:11 bittersweet: Dr. Jim Conway: I sent you an email today. Basically ,I have been doing all you said to do. As a result we have restored marriage except he keeps emailing her . Also I noticed by doing paper work that he calls her every time he leaves. He told me all kinds of beautiful things like I am a very rare and precious Gem and I am the wind beneath his wings and He loves me so much and it does not get better than this to me. I am confused why he continues with her then????

6:16 Dr. Jim Conway [Administrator]: bittersweet: He is keeping his options open -- he is not sure that your changes will really last -- keep demonstrating that you are a changed woman who will not be a controller -- allow trust to grow.

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