6:35 PM Chapman Jim - How often should I initiate conversation via phone, text, email or letter? I had been sending him short notes telling him about my day or funny cards and he told me they were just shallow and insignificant. (My H never used to say hurtful things like that!) That's when he told me he wanted to know my feelings. My H's work seems to be his powerful mistress instead of a real OW; Does that often happen? He just works all the time.
6:35 PM Jim Chapman - your husband is using hurtful remarks to try and put more space between you. I would suggest that you slow way down on the cards, and intensify praying for God to work in his life, and your life. Be brave - ask for miracles. He is a work-aholic as a way to escape life. I strongly urge you to understand your husband's needs and what he feels he is missing.
8:09 PM [surety] Jim to jump right in.... I have a question.... my h apologizes for small things, remember we only text each other no other contact. (small things like he fell asleep, or had to do something at work, etc) is that a good sign that
8:13 PM [jim] Surety at :09, Keep looking for the big changes, not focusing on just the small things.
8:04 PM [boscosdad] Jim: I think these holiday blues sneak up on you. I didn't think I was feeling them, then BAM!
8:07 PM jim: boscosdad at: 04, it's extremely important to take preventative measures against the down feelings that come at Christmas time - so be proactive and plan lots of times with people, watch what you eat so that you're not loading up on sugar, plan extra time for exercise, and surround yourself with more time reading the Bible and listening to praise music.
8:07 PM [dogwood] Jim-- I am doing worse lately, feeling down more and more, I guess because of H's BD before he left earlier this month. He told me that he is planning to move out. I just feel so afraid all the time whenever that thought comes to me. He apparently has planned for a while, waiting to the end of the year when the income tax joint filing ends in Dec. I am afraid of won't be able to handle it. I did try to read John where I like the WORD becomes flesh, dwell among us. I thought that I really need the WORD to be flesh to me... in the morning as soon as I wake up, the cold chill goes through my spine, fear arises, can't read the scripture well.
8:12 PM Jim: dogwood at :07, whenever fear gets to us - we need to make positive choices to do what is good for us, such as reading the scriptures, even if we don't feel like it, or at the beginning if we don't feel anything is happening. In my own life, daily reading has a cumulative effect and continues to stabilize me. So keep at it. Also reach out to several people asking them to pray for you.
8:43 PM [dogwood] Jim-- thanks. He repeatedly told me that he is not going to rip me off, he is always proud of his ability of providing for the family financially. It seems an insult to him when I question the finance. He thought I am greedy and lost my spiritual characteristics... but I know that I must need some advice no matter what he says, it probably will make him very angry
8:47 PM jim: dogwood at :43, I have been through enough of these situations that I strongly urge you to get a lawyer who can very ably and strongly protect you. Yes it's going to cost money, but yes he made this decision which has logical consequences.