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October 03, 2018 / Wednesday Chat with Bill

Dogwood: Bill. I recognize that I tend to always need to have family around me, and probably need to learn to have God alone, that is so hard to learn

Bill: Dogwood: In this area, I think balance is a key. When Adam was in the garden, he appeared to have everything he needed. The garden was beautiful and needed purposeful work applied to it to keep it in shape. God was available in person to talk with at any time. And yet, God said it was not good for man to be alone. God exists in relationship (Father, Son and Holy Spirit) and we are made in His image. Therefore, relationships matter to us and complete the picture. We can, however, easily become dependent on others to meet the needs only God can fill. My youngest son likes to say, "We get our life from God but we learn how to do life from others."

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October 03, 2018 / Wednesday Chat with Bill

Swan: Bill - I got an email earlier this week from an old member who hasn't been able to register for chat. I explained to her that we have changed programs since she had last been in chat and would need to register new. She said she tried that and she got a message that user was already in use. I don't have an answer for that, but then told her to try a new user name and password, she tried and still hasn't been able to set up an account. I forwarded her email to Lisa, so hopefully she will be able to help this person get into chat. She really wants to connect through chat, she has some questions. I was thinking maybe have her email me the questions and we could at least attempt to answer her that way until we can get her into chat.

Bill: Swan: I think getting her email is a good idea.

Swan: Bill - Anyway, I have been wondering why we haven't had any new members, even though I have been inviting people who have visited and registered on the website, maybe they are having issues registering for chat as well. I remember we had an issue with a few people a couple years back, so who knows maybe it is a rising again. I will try to research it more, maybe email some of those I have already invited and ask if they are having this issue.

Bill: Swan: That sounds good. I know we have to do a rework on our site and are hoping to get to it in November after the speaking season calms down. In the meantime, I think emailing them is a great move.

Swan: Bill - I will offer her to email me her questions and will attempt to answer them (myself and a few from the group) and may forward some to you if I feel you might have a better response for her. The request came to us through the info@midlife, so no personal email addresses will be given.

Swan: Bill - She gave her real name and I recognize it, but cannot remember what her chat name was.

Bill: Swan: Sounds good. Don't hesitate to forward it to me. Have you checked the site where you set up chat rooms to see if you can add her "manually" into a chat room? I don't know if it is possible but who knows . . .

Swan: Bill - There is a lot of great information on the website, I would just hate to be telling people to come to chat and then they are having trouble and get discouraged. I haven't checked that, I will after chat tonight. I don't recall seeing that as an option, but will check into it.

Bill: Swan: Agreed. We have to preserve the experience of people getting access to the information Jim pioneered and so many have continued. Pam and I are working on a book proposal for Midlife issues to pick up where Jim left off. Pray for God's leading and an open door.

Swan: Bill - That sounds great, when Jim pioneered midlife it was a different time, stresses were not the same and triggers have changed some. It will be great to see the next stage and more direct information for this generation. I will admit so much of my husband's behaviors mimicked Jim, but there has also been so much that was different. Having the information from Jim helped with understanding the insanity to some degree, but my husband for one has done things that still have me shaking my head and wondering.

Bill: Swan: There will still be a lot of circus music playing because there is just a lot of chaos that goes with midlife. Technology, however, has added a new dimension and the perceived financial freedom people experience gives them a heightened sense of empowerment that is creating damage. It will be an interesting journey!

Swan: Bill - Will definitely add this to my prayers. I just remember when I found Midlife Dimensions and how much it helped me; I was living in a total haze, barely able to function at times. Blaming myself for so much, getting angry and even beginning to feel hatred towards my husband for the pain he was causing, not realizing the pain he was himself living. Midlife crisis is not going to go away, so having a place like this to help both the person directly going through the crisis and those around them dealing with the aftermath will be awesome.

Bill: Swan: Not only is it not going away but it is being amplified by the fact that people are living longer. It is possible to influence people for 2 or 3 decades longer than previous generations. This puts spiritual, social, emotional and developmental pressure on people for which they may be ill-prepared. It has exciting possibilities but is surrounded by obstacles.

Swan: Bill - I find myself at times looking at some of the younger people I work with and how they already behave and often think to myself, "There is a midlife crisis in the making". They just don't really have responsibilities anymore, expect everything to just be handed to them and what they consider work is more sitting or standing there and just staring off into the distance and what they do as far as work goes, is the bare minimum. They want to constantly be reassured and given praise, but they simply don't do anything to rate it. They value core is so different from generations before. Each has gotten less value driven and it is getting less and less based in respect.

Swan: Bill - Ironically, the other day I was looking into retirement ages, social security, etc. (I got a package in the mail from social security). The starting age for drawing SS is 62, but most don't until at least 65, there was even a paragraph about maximum percentage not available until 70. Heck I remember when my grandparents were able to retire at 55.

Bill: Swan: Yeah, it is disturbing but we need to keep things in perspective. The way we talk about younger generations is similar to how previous generations talked about our generation. It frustrates us because it is our turn. Also, you are an unusually hard working person so you see it even more than others. The big difference is the pace. Young people are inundated with information and stimulus of all kinds so they become desensitized to all of it. As in the past, it will take a revival that touches the heart to make people more interested in God's ways than their own ingenuity. Lord, give us your grace!

Bill: Swan: Retirement seems a little weird to me. I like working and I am privileged in that I love what I do for work so the thought of stopping is strange. Also, the people I respect the most tend to go strong into their 80s.

Bill: Well Hello Dogwood.

Dogwood: Hi Bill and Swan, good evening. How is everyone? I have not been here for a long time...

Swan: Bill - I believe you are correct, the generation before mine talked about us as well. My boss complains constantly because the younger kids don't take things on without being told step by step what to do. I have found that if I take the time and explain what they should be doing and then ask them to do it, they typically do. So far there has only been one that wanted to argue with me. There are a few that will acknowledge me when I explain they should be doing more than just sitting, which is why I started ended my chat with them with instructions for them to now do it. I look at it as they are new at the work force and am unsure of what is expected even though it was explained to them when they were hired. Now if I have to tell them more than three times, I tend to get a little more enforced in my instruction. Like I said, so far only one that didn't get it.

Swan: Hi dogwood, how have you been?

Bill: Dogwood: I am "flying" because we had a new grandson born last Tuesday. This was the first time we were able to be there on the day of the birth. Great fun!

Swan: Bill - I honestly don't know what I will do with myself in retirement, I just don't know how to sit still. I am one that feels more productive when I am accomplishing something and I get that from work.

Bill: Swan: Amen. I could have written those words.

Dogwood: Bill, Sorry that I have been busy, but things are going well. Daughter and son-in-law moved in with us since September since they have sold their house and are looking for another one. So, I enjoy having them around, although everyone is very busy. All of a sudden, I need to make sure dinners are planned for 4. That is nice, sometimes, H still out, but, at least he is in more than ever. He is having health issues which we do not know what they are, I think probably due to the TIA he had earlier this year...

Swan: Dogwood - It is good that your husband is not going out with his friends as much. Sorry to hear about his health issues, lifting you up in prayer for this.

Bill: Dogwood: Sounds very interesting and I trust you are building good memories with your Daughter and Son-in-law. The busy-ness of family often does good to our hearts.

Dogwood: Bill, good to see you in chat. I finished reading Tozer's book on seeking His presence which I found very helpful and realized that I need to put into practice to build the intimate relationship with Him.

Dogwood: Bill. Yes, I will treasure this temporary time with daughter and son-in-law. And enjoy having them around more.

Bill: Dogwood: that is so good to hear. Tozer is one of my favorite authors and it is reminder we all need - that God is the source of our life. He brings us joy, satisfaction and the contentment we need to serve others. Without a close connection with God, we become too aware of the emptiness that exists in this world. Keep seeking!

Dogwood: Bill, the name of the book is: the pursuit of God. I found it very practical, will re-read again. I am also very busy at work. I should plan to retire, but, still have so many new things going on which is forever learning experience. Non-stop learning and trying to master.

Bill: Dogwood: Both Swan and I seem to agree that retirement is over-rated. We want to stay busy for a long time!

Dogwood: Bill. I recognize that I tend to always need to have family around me, and probably need to learn to have God alone, that is so hard to learn

Dogwood: Bill I actually worry about what to do if I retire. So, until I figure out a better way of life style, I will stay in.

Swan: It is after the top of the hour and I need to head out, have a blessed week and see you next Wednesday.

Bill: Dogwood: In this area, I think balance is a key. When Adam was in the garden, he appeared to have everything he needed. The garden was beautiful and needed purposeful work applied to it to keep it in shape. God was available in person to talk with at any time. And yet, God said it was not good for man to be alone. God exists in relationship (Father, Son and Holy Spirit) and we are made in His image. Therefore, relationships matter to us and complete the picture. We can, however, easily become dependent on others to meet the needs only God can fill. My youngest son likes to say, "We get our life from God but we learn how to do life from others."

Bill: All: me too so we will see each other next week.

Dogwood: Bill and Swan; thanks Bill for the helpful comments. Thanks for the night, have a good week.

Dogwood: Bill. I recognize that I tend to always need to have family around me, and probably need to learn to have God alone, that is so hard to learn

Bill: Dogwood: In this area, I think balance is a key. When Adam was in the garden, he appeared to have everything he needed. The garden was beautiful and needed purposeful work applied to it to keep it in shape. God was available in person to talk with at any time. And yet, God said it was not good for man to be alone. God exists in relationship (Father, Son and Holy Spirit) and we are made in His image. Therefore, relationships matter to us and complete the picture. We can, however, easily become dependent on others to meet the needs only God can fill. My youngest son likes to say, "We get our life from God but we learn how to do life from others."

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