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August 01, 2018 / Wednesday Chat with Bill

Swan: Bill - Sadly many consider people to be throw away, I have seen parents give up and throw children out of their homes (some baffled me because the kids were pretty good kids), husbands and wives throw their spouse away (some completely through divorce, others partly by living apart together) and then we throw our parents away. There were so many of the ladies at the home that had living children and grandchildren, but never had visitors, it was like they were brought to the home and forgotten. Their children paid the fees, but just didn't visit. Phone calls were also rare or never happened. It was so sad, but at least they had each other and the staff for company.

Bill: Swan: I agree. It is very sad. For personal convenience, we discard people who add great value to our lives because they are harder to deal with than we want them to be. It surprises me because we are all going to grow old (with exceptions of course) and very few of us do well alone. Human nature is crazy though.

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August 01, 2018 / Wednesday Chat with Bill

Swan: Hi Bill - You are traveling this week?

Bill: No. I am at my parents taking care of some miscellaneous things.

Swan: Bill - The IP for you has Canada, so I thought you might be traveling. Hope it is a simple care you are having to do. Caring for parents can be a struggle and emotional while we do it. I remember when I was a teenager working at a home for elderly, there were days the ladies could be a challenge and for those I got attached to as they became more dependent it was often heart breaking.

Bill: Swan: Canada, EH? That is funny since I am in So Cal. Being around my aging parents is both fascinating and frustrating. They have so much life experience that at times they break forth with great wisdom and remarkable stories. Then they can be inflexible, controlling and generally irritating. Funny dance.

Swan: Bill - I used to love to chat with some of the ladies and listen to their stories, they had so much wisdom to share. We had a few of the ladies that were inflexible, to this day I remember one lady that had to have things a certain way and if you varied from it nothing was going to go right. And getting her to take her meds could become very difficult. All we had to do was follow the routine, but there were times when someone new either wasn't instructed or thought they knew better, it could take a couple hours to get her calmed back down. I just hope that I will not be a challenge for my kids.

Bill: Swan: Later on it becomes funny but in the moment it tests what you believe to be your character. I already pray that I am graceful with my kids. I have half jokingly told them I am going to volunteer as a chaplain at a residence facility when I turn 75. That way I can tell everyone to have a good attitude and have a place for my kids to visit!

Swan: Bill - Sadly many consider people to be throw away, I have seen parents give up and throw children out of their homes (some baffled me because the kids were pretty good kids), husbands and wives throw their spouse away (some completely through divorce, others partly by living apart together) and then we throw our parents away. There were so many of the ladies at the home that had living children and grandchildren, but never had visitors, it was like they were brought to the home and forgotten. Their children paid the fees, but just didn't visit. Phone calls were also rare or never happened. It was so sad, but at least they had each other and the staff for company.

Bill: Swan: I agree. It is very sad. For personal convenience, we discard people who add great value to our lives because they are harder to deal with than we want them to be. It surprises me because we are all going to grow old (with exceptions of course) and very few of us do well alone. Human nature is crazy though.

Swan: Ironically when my children were younger, we were visiting the grandparents one time and somehow the topic of children caring for parents came up (I don't even remember how), but my son very proudly said he will take care of his mom and my daughter said she would take care of her dad. My mother in law asked why wouldn't they take care of us together and my son very loudly stated, his dad would be too much trouble. And here I am living with my son and his family. My husband isn't with our daughter, but even now my son would say his dad is too much to deal with even for short visits. It is so sad what Midlife has done to the relationships between my husband and our children, even my daughter at this point doesn't have much to do with him. It is mostly his doing, that and the other woman makes visits very uncomfortable, and my husband has no contact with his siblings, with the exception of the other woman, he really has cut himself off. Even from long time friends.

Bill: Swan: Wow, your son was prophetic! It is sad because it is the heart for sons and daughters to have lifelong relationships with their parents. When it gets too complicated to be possible, it is disappointing to say the least. I am glad you and your son have found a rhythm that works.

Bill: Swan: I am going to sign off since the room is quiet tonight.

Swan: Bill - Night, have a great week

Swan: Bill - Sadly many consider people to be throw away, I have seen parents give up and throw children out of their homes (some baffled me because the kids were pretty good kids), husbands and wives throw their spouse away (some completely through divorce, others partly by living apart together) and then we throw our parents away. There were so many of the ladies at the home that had living children and grandchildren, but never had visitors, it was like they were brought to the home and forgotten. Their children paid the fees, but just didn't visit. Phone calls were also rare or never happened. It was so sad, but at least they had each other and the staff for company.

Bill: Swan: I agree. It is very sad. For personal convenience, we discard people who add great value to our lives because they are harder to deal with than we want them to be. It surprises me because we are all going to grow old (with exceptions of course) and very few of us do well alone. Human nature is crazy though.

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