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January 24, 2018 / Wednesday Chat with Bill

Little Magpie: Bill - I am finding it important but very difficult to "be intentional" about trying to engage in communication

Bill: Little Magpie: No doubt. If it was easy, we wouldn't talk about it so much. I find it best to focus on the next step and try to make progress rather than focus back on recent failures. This is a tough world so looking back can get quite discouraging. There is always hope in the future!

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January 24, 2018 / Wednesday Chat with Bill

Swan: Hi Bill

Bill: Hi Swan, how are you?

Bill: Swan, FYI, I will need you to cover next the next two weeks. The 31st is a travel day and the 7th is an event in Saskatchewan.

Swan: Bill - I am good. Today was a nice warm day, dry so that was nice, we are expecting rain again this weekend, so hopefully the burn areas have had enough time to dry a little so the mud slide possibilities will be lower.

Bill: Swan, then there is Valentine's Day! I think I will need to reschedule that one since Pam needs to be my audience that night. Can we move that one to Thursday, Feb 15?

Bill: Hopefully - we don't need a repeat of Mendocino! It was incredible what happened to the 101 between Ventura and Santa Barbara.

Swan: Bill - Sure, I got it the next couple weeks. Yes Pam should have your undivided attention on sweetheart’s day. I will throw it out to the group about doing the 15th; let’s see what the interest is before scheduling that.

Bill: Sounds good on the 15th

Swan: Bill - down here we only had minor slides, nothing like up north, we actually got more flooding than mud slides. I finally asked my son how his dad was and if he had been affected by what happened up there (he lives in Ventura), my son said that the area he lived in was affected, however, when he spoke to his dad, he was informed that they had moved the month prior and the new area they live in was not affected. Nothing like taking the time to tell your children you were moving!! The things that man does, sometimes I just wonder, I understand the basics of MLC, however, often it just sounds more like selfishness, not giving a thought about anyone other than himself. I even find myself feeling empathy for the other woman from some of the things I hear about my husband. He is definitely way more than she bargained for when she chased after him, but even with how they came to be a couple, no one deserves the things he is doing. He seems to always be angry and I am told he is often explosive, even to the point that they have been reported to being physical with each other. I know that I could never deal with that kind of abuse and do wonder why the other woman not only puts up with it, but strikes back. Just not a way to live in my opinion.

Bill: Swan: Unfortunately, your H is a study in human nature. Nobody stays static in life. We are either getting better or worse. Our hearts are either softening or hardening. Our ability to think clearly is either improving as we grow close to Jesus or our minds are getting focused on choices that do damage. It is so hard to watch but so obvious in action. Your H is an industrious, intelligent man who is continually deteriorating because of his choices. The OW is likely on the same crazy train which enables her to respond with equally perplexing behaviors. Hard to watch.

Swan: Bill - Fortunately for me I only get little bits of information here and there. When they first got married God took me to Missouri because of my mother's health, my husband and the other woman lived down here then and she was known to frequent my work place, almost stalking me to be honest, thankfully I didn't know at the time it was her. When it came time for me to move back here to be closer to my children and grandson, my husband and the other woman had moved north, so I have still never knowingly come face to face with the other woman. I believe that God has been protecting me, as His Word says, He will not give us more than we can handle and I could not handle coming face to face with them as a couple or dealing with any of my husband's insanity.

Bill: Swan: It is gracious of God in the midst of agonizing circumstances. He is always good even when life is not good, people are not good and we are not good!

Swan: Bill - It looks like it is just you and me tonight, if you want to head out, I will man the room for the rest of the hour.

Bill: little magpie texted and said she will be late. I will hang around a little longer to see if she shows. Thanks for the offer.

Swan: Ok, she is usually here by now, so I thought she might not be coming in.

Swan: Hi Little Magpie

Little Magpie: All - Hello

Little Magpie: Bill and Swan - How have you been?

Swan: Little Magpie - I am good, how about yourself?

Little Magpie: Swan - Things have been really tough, lots of Loss and ugly finances happening. My Uncle died on Saturday, H's Uncle is in critical condition out of state and might die and H lost a classmate on Friday night in his sleep. Uggg and I have a co-worker leaving next week.

Little Magpie: Swan - both Uncles were unexpected

Swan: Little Magpie - I am sorry for your loss, this is a lot of loss for anyone person to be faced with at one time. How is your husband dealing with it, are the two of you drawing closer together in support or is MLC surfacing more and causing tunnel trips?

Bill: Hi All. Sorry I disappeared for a few minutes!

Little Magpie: Swan - we are supposed to get together with his classmates for a wake at a Steak restaurant the person loved tomorrow and his memorial is this weekend. I don't know when my Uncle's is or where. My Uncle went back and forth between two states so don't know where his service will be.

Little Magpie: Swan - It's so easy to isolate when things like this happen and especially to such an extent. We are praying that H's Uncle will be well enough to come home and have a heart surgery and fully recover.

Bill: Little Magpie: I encourage you and H to give yourselves permission to grieve. When God created Adam and Eve, they were not designed to deal with loss, disease and death. As a result, when we lose in a significant way, our bodies react with waves of emotions that gets released through crying, laughter, anger, sadness, etc. They are not the new reality of our lives; they are simply ways for our souls to deal with the loss.

Swan: Hi buttons

buttons: little magpie sorry to hear about the loses

Little Magpie: Bill - We have had so much loss over the last few years that I am rather numb...

buttons: Hi Swan how are you? Just popped in to say hello as I know it's nearly time to close

Little Magpie: Hello Buttons!! It's good to see you!!!

Bill: Little Magpie: I hope you can go to wake and I encourage you to talk about the one who has passed. The people we lose are "still alive," they just are not here physically with us. Luke 16 contains a clear example from our Savior showing that people are still alive and aware - also Heb 11 talks about the cloud of witnesses who are watching us and cheering us on.

Bill: Hi buttons

buttons: Little Magpie You too

buttons: Hi Bill

Swan: buttons - I am good, glad you popped in, how have you been doing?

Bill: Little Magpie: Numb is okay in the face of loss. Grief is one way we declare people are valuable to us (they are worth the time it takes to recover from their passing).

buttons: swan not too bad, starting to get better but can't seem to shake flu/cold bug, many students were down with something in the last 2 weeks. H leaves on Saturday for his bi-annual trip overseas

Swan: buttons - please remind the group when your husband leaves (or at least cricket and/or myself and we can send it out), so we can keep him in prayer.

buttons: swan I wanted to bring our fur baby to school often while he was away however I didn't get to training and then was going to as the New Year started but H and I both got sick

Little Magpie: Bill - thanks. I worry about our Aunts. My Aunt and U were married over 60 years and had been sweethearts since 3rd grade and His Aunt and U lost a son a couple years ago and it was real hard and now H is critically ill with heart issues

buttons: Swan I will do that he leaves in 3 sleeps

buttons: Little Magpie praying. Hugs

buttons: All praying and hugs good night. Take care

Little Magpie: Buttons - Thank you and Prayers to you!!!

Bill: Little Magpie: Great legacy with Aunt and Uncle! Pray for them, talk with them when you can and bring up their sweethearts so they know you are okay talking about them, encourage them to just be for a while without evaluating how they are or what life will bring now. In time they will figure it out but it will take a while.

Little Magpie: Bill - I haven't called my Aunt yet. I have tried to get a hold of my cousin but she didn't seem to be taking calls.

Little Magpie: Bill - How are you doing?? Thank you for being here. Swan - Thank you for being here.

Swan: I am going to sign out for tonight. Hoping for a wonderful week for the two of you.

Little Magpie: Swan - Good Night

Bill: Little Magpie: I am doing well. Very focused working on a redo of our website and keeping up with mom and dad. Even if Aunt and cousin don't answer, it matters to them that you reached out. Just follow your instincts and reach out when you can.

Little Magpie: Bill - I am finding it important but very difficult to "be intentional" about trying to engage in communication

Bill: Little Magpie: No doubt. If it was easy, we wouldn't talk about it so much. I find it best to focus on the next step and try to make progress rather than focus back on recent failures. This is a tough world so looking back can get quite discouraging. There is always hope in the future!

Little Magpie: Bill and Swan - Thank you! Have a blessed week.

Bill: See you soon

Little Magpie: Night

 

Little Magpie: Bill - I am finding it important but very difficult to "be intentional" about trying to engage in communication

Bill: Little Magpie: No doubt. If it was easy, we wouldn't talk about it so much. I find it best to focus on the next step and try to make progress rather than focus back on recent failures. This is a tough world so looking back can get quite discouraging. There is always hope in the future!

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