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November 01, 2017 / Wednesday Chat with Bill

Little Magpie: Bill - I am trying to "trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding and to acknowledge him in all ways for Him to direct my path" especially lean not on my own understanding, because I don't understand

Bill: Little Magpie: Well done. There are so many times we all have to live in that place. God is doing so much more than we understand or could even comprehend. We are forced to walk in obedience, do what we know is right, seek God for strength and peace and ask God to give us wisdom for the choices we must make every day. Keep leaning!

 

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November 01, 2017 / Wednesday Chat with Bill

Bill: Good evening Swan. Sorry about last week. It was a very busy day. I kind of forgot until 6:15 - oops.

Swan: Bill - I figured something had come up. We are all entitled to what I call "senior" moments. Heck there are days when I ask someone a question and forget the answer almost immediately.

Bill: Swan. That is funny. Senior moments are becoming a good friend! I am amazed at how my dad can remember what he was doing in November of 1960 but had a hard time remembering when he took his meds.

Swan: Bill - my mother in law had Alzheimer’s at the end of her life and she couldn't remember even her own children, but would talk about events that happened when she was a child like it had just happened. Although, she did recognize my husband the second she saw him and called him by name. They didn't have a relationship anymore, about ten years earlier she did one of her "disowning" of my husband, which she frequently did to all the kids and grandkids, this time rather than beg to forgiveness for something he had done nothing wrong in, he said he was allowing her to disown him and that was that until his father passed away and we went to the funeral.

Swan: Bill - Sad thing is my husband was her favorite child and it was at the point of his father passing, learning of his mother's illness and then her passing a few months later that triggered his MLC, there is regret in how he handled his mother and unfortunately he couldn't take it back, he was stuck with his choice and action.

Bill: Swan: What a complicated scenario. There are so many highly emotional issues in what you just described - favorite child, Alzheimer’s, disowning, giving up, MLC and regret. Whoa.

Swan: Bill - Even sadder I see my husband repeating the same choices he made with his mother, now with his siblings, old friends and sometimes our children. I have seen many behaviors of his mother, that he hated coming out in him after her passing and am told he is getting more and more like her.

Swan: Bill - Yeah, I expect my husband to be in the MLC tunnel for a long time. I love him, care about him and will never give up on him, but also accept that he is a very stubborn and thick headed man, most likely not to change unless there is something drastic that happens to cause that change.

Bill: Swan: Oh my. I am amazed at how often people become who they said they would never become. In my twenties I heard, "You become like the people you focus on the most intensely." This is why bitterness is so insidious. When we choose not to forgive we begin a process of becoming like the people who have hurt us the most.

Bill: Swan: I think Jesus is what needs to happen. We are all stubborn, self-centered, proud and self-deceptive until Jesus gets a hold of us. May grace interrupt his life.

Swan: Bill - I have to agree, I had a hard time forgiving my step father and one day I heard myself saying something he often said that I hated with a passion. I was not a loving person at times, was easily provoked and often lived on the edge of suspecting every one of bad intentions. We had been married maybe ten years when my husband and I were having an argument, at some point I think I had a flash back because even though my husband wasn't even standing near me, I curled into a ball on the floor and was screaming "stop, please don't, I promise I will be good" It scared my husband, he didn't know how to react and had no intention of hurting me. I had nightmares as well. It wasn't until my children were a little older and I had always heard abused people often abuse their children that I sought counseling, during that a very wise lady talked to me about forgiveness and how it would help to free me to let the demons go. It took a while, but I agree once I was able to forgive my step father for the abuse and my mother for not protecting me as I felt she should have, so much anger and resentment left and there was a change in me.

Swan: Hi Little Magpie

Bill: Swan: I think this is why you are able to help others here. If you had held onto that hurt and bitterness, it would have ruined everything in your life eventually. It can be very difficult to forgive others who have done things that should never have happened but it is even more difficult to refuse to forgive. Tough stuff - way to go.

Little Magpie: Swan - Hello

Swan: Bill - The ironic thing to Jesus getting a hold of my husband is that he calls himself a Christian and very righteous man, the other woman tells many that she is an extremely godly woman. One of my husband's long time friends asked her how she could be a godly woman and commit adultery, unfortunately my husband isn't allowed to associate with that friend anymore.

Little Magpie: Bill - Hello, I hear you had a very hectic night last week. Hope it was blessed.

Bill: Swan: All I can say is that words are easy to come by and most people don't like to honestly evaluate themselves.

Bill: Little Magpie: Yeah, it was busy but honestly, I just lost track of time and lost focus just long enough to forget to show up.

Little Magpie: Bill, I tried

Swan: Bill - I agree, there have been times I have had to take that hard look inside and haven't always liked the truth. To be honest it would be so much easier to blame my husband for everything, after all he is the one who committed adultery, abandoned his family, he drinks to excess, etc. but I have had to be truthful with myself mostly and acknowledge those things I contributed to the cracks in our marriage. It really did help me to forgive my husband and the other woman, in fact there are times I have empathy for her.

Little Magpie: All - I almost didn't come tonight. I feel so horrible. I have been listening to that negative self talk junk. Work shortened my hours and are now having me leave an hour and a half early. It makes me feel sad and yucky

Bill: Swan: I believe this is part of what Jesus meant when he said, "You shall know the truth and the truth will set you free." It is certainly a hard part of the truth but once we are willing to accept personal responsibility, recognize that everyone needs grace (including us) and that we could always have done things differently we find new freedom to become all that God has designed for us.,

Bill: Little Magpie: Wow, you are full of adjectives tonight - "negative self talk junk, sad and yucky." I know you feel bad but your creativity is impressive.

Little Magpie: Bill - I don't see it as being creative, I see it as trying to communicate.

Bill: Little Magpie: I know but I didn't want to miss the observation. I am sorry that work has shortened your hours. I am sure this has added stress to your life and forced you to ask difficult questions in many areas of life. I don't want to minimize the struggle but I do want to remind you (and us) that God has promised to be with you at every step.

Little Magpie: Bill - I am trying to "trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding and to acknowledge him in all ways for Him to direct my path" especially lean not on my own understanding, because I don't understand

Bill: Little Magpie: Well done. There are so many times we all have to live in that place. God is doing so much more than we understand or could even comprehend. We are forced to walk in obedience, do what we know is right, seek God for strength and peace and ask God to give us wisdom for the choices we must make every day. Keep leaning!

Swan: Little Magpie - Are you listening to praise music? I know for me when self doubt thoughts start trying to overtake my mind, I can put on some praise music, open my Bible and even when I can't seem to stay focused enough to read the Bible, I eventually find myself getting lost in the music, it seems the louder I sing along and often as the tears begin to flow, I also find a closeness with God and with prayer the doubts will seem to not be as forefront. I can be my own hardest critic and often need to take it to God to get beyond myself.

Little Magpie: Bill - it makes me worry and wonder how much longer we can be in the house, we have been able to make our payment up until now but with my hour cut, I don't know that we can do it. Our d being at college hasn't made a dent in our expenses, we thought it might free some up but it didn't and now this. Ed is now working for the past two weeks which is good but she only works 4-5 hours a day for 5 days as she is part time.

Little Magpie: Swan - Thanks, no I haven't

Bill: Little Magpie: I am sure this is scary for you all. This is a great time to pray with your H and together ask God what He is up to. There may be a new opportunity He is trying to help you see. He may be showing your boss or your H's boss how valuable you really are which may be triggered by less getting done with your hours cut. He may have a service opportunity He wants you to see that will take the place of your current situation. These can all be hard to see because the needs surrounding them are so emotional. There is no harm in asking God to show you what is up.

Bill: Little Magpie: For what it is worth, I think Swan's advice is very wise.

Little Magpie: Bill - I agree that Swan's advice is very wise.

Little Magpie: All - it's getting late so I probably should go.

Bill: All: the beauty of what Swan shared is its simplicity. It amazes me how we forget the simple things that make a difference when we get under stress.

Swan: I am going to head out as well, need to get dinner started.

Bill: All: See you next week. Have a good week and hang onto our Savior at all times!

Swan: Bill - because we are complex beings, we instinctively try to complicate all around us! LOL

Little Magpie: Bill - Did you see the Martin Luther thing I sent you?

Little Magpie: Swan and Bill - Eric Mataxis (sp) liked this Martin Luther Hamilton Parody on YouTube.

Bill: Little Magpie: Not yet but I will look for it.

Little Magpie: All - Reformation day was yesterday, 500th Anniversary

Little Magpie: Bill - I am trying to "trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding and to acknowledge him in all ways for Him to direct my path" especially lean not on my own understanding, because I don't understand

Bill: Little Magpie: Well done. There are so many times we all have to live in that place. God is doing so much more than we understand or could even comprehend. We are forced to walk in obedience, do what we know is right, seek God for strength and peace and ask God to give us wisdom for the choices we must make every day. Keep leaning!

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