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September 13, 2017 / Wednesday Chat with Bill

Little Magpie: Bill - Thanks! Adjustment is difficult. Having a hard time with sleep and staying focused. I end up crying at the weirdest things. H is doing his hobby in your area and due to the financials is unable to bring anyone with him. We got a puppy so have those to adjust around too.

Bill: Little Magpie: Adjustment is difficult - that may be the understatement of the day. I know change is good for us but most of us would prefer not to change very much. We like knowing what to expect and how to handle the situations that come our way. Life does not seem content to do that, however. Even good things (like puppies) require maturity, decision-making, patience and humility!

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September 13, 2017 / Wednesday Chat with Bill

Bill: Good Evening and welcome. I am glad you could join us this week. Feel free to ask about anything you want and the rest of us will add our two cents. Hopefully God will bring all of us hope as we encourage one another.

Bill: The past two weeks have been an intense reminder to me of the fragile nature of human life. Three close friends have lost loved ones - some expected, some not. Another close friend got a message that his wife has a medical condition that, in most cases, is a two-year process normally ending in a final graduation. I have spent a lot of time praying with these friends, reminding them of the grieving process, listening as they try to process all it means for them and other members of their families. At the same time, it has reminded me to keep valuing my own family members when they are easy and when they are difficult because we just never know. I believe this is one of the reasons so many of you hang in there with your MLCers. I pray God gives us grace and strength to keep loving the people He has put in our lives through all the seasons of their lives.

Bill: Hello Little Magpie. How are things?

Swan: Bill - My husband played sports in high school, was in prime shape. He as a Marine for 28 years, again in tip top shape. After he retired, he added a little weigh, but for the most part was still pretty active. After MLC hit and he became involved with the other woman, he quickly put on a lot of extra pounds and within a few years was diagnosed with a heart issue. He is currently on a waiting list for a heart transplant. It just goes to show that someone who was always so fit and strong, things can change in the blink of an eye.

Swan: Hi Little Magpie

Bill: Swan: Thanks for that input. We all tend to forget that human existence requires maintenance. I am forever disappointed with how much it takes to stay in some sort of health and how little it takes to deteriorate.

Little Magpie: Bill - Thanks! Adjustment is difficult. Having a hard time with sleep and staying focused. I end up crying at the weirdest things. H is doing his hobby in your area and due to the financials is unable to bring anyone with him. We got a puppy so have those to adjust around too.

Bill: Little Magpie: Adjustment is difficult - that may be the understatement of the day. I know change is good for us but most of us would prefer not to change very much. We like knowing what to expect and how to handle the situations that come our way. Life does not seem content to do that, however. Even good things (like puppies) require maturity, decision-making, patience and humility!

Swan: Bill - Another person comes to mind, when I was in Missouri I worked at a hotel as the night audit clerk and the owners worked at the hotel. The wife was friendly and everyone really liked working with her, but all were afraid of the husband. I started as a front desk clerk and when the night auditor left, I was asked if I would be willing to take on that position. At first I was not going to because even though I would work from midnight to morning mostly by myself, the first person that came in for a day shift was the male owner and he would spend about 30 minutes with me going over the night audit, I was honestly afraid to deal with him. Because of my other job I agreed to do and at first was so nervous in dealing with him, but it only took a couple weeks and he was joking and laughing with me. After awhile I asked him why he is so grumpy with everyone, he is pretty cool with me. He explained that I was going above and beyond doing the job he expected, but when people barely put effort, he gets upset because it is his bottom-line. I could understand that. Plus he was impressed that I found a way to do something the old audit clerk had been telling him and his wife was impossible, it wasn't, it was easy and gave me something to do while the reports were running, it was more a choice not to put in the effort. The owners were Christians and I have to say I was off put by his attitude until I got to know him better and understood why he was so upset.

Swan: Bill - How is your dad doing?

Little Magpie: Bill - yes, and we are having to learn so much, like the best way to send financial assistance to our college student who is away. It causes a lot of stress, fret and worry for me to try to deal with change. I get paralyzed with the anxiety/fear but am trying to breathe and work through it with a lot of prayer.

Swan: Little Magpie - When was the last time you had a physical check up? You are getting about the age for hormonal changes in your body and that can bring on sudden and uncontrollable tears, fears and anxieties.

Bill: Swan: Remarkable. I knew a man named Mel in San Marcos who was this same way. I was "warned" about him several times before I met him. I found him, however, to be a godly, genuine and loyal man. We made great memories together, laughed a lot and learned a lot together about how to lead our church. First impressions are important but often do not tell the whole story.

Bill: Swan: Dad is doing well at the moment. I moved in hopes to get him in a better routine so he would be more stable, more predictable and more confident. Those things are happening so he and mom are getting easier to take care of.

Bill: Little Magpie: Interesting advice from Swan. I think ruling out physical causes for fear and anxiety first is a good rule of thumb.

Swan: Bill - that is great, I worked as a nurse’s aid when I was in high school and routine was vital for the patients, if their routines got off by even the smallest way it could send some of them into a tail spin.

Little Magpie: Swan - I am about due. I think some has to do with the child being gone. I get weepy related to her being gone, see a bus she used to take, etc. and Fear and anxiety with the unknown. We have never had a child go away before and having never navigated it, you don't know what is best or what will work. I can check the physical causes too, just in case.

Bill: Swan: So you know! I am amazed at how calm my dad is when his routines are intact and how much he overworks everything when his routines go out of whack.

Bill: Little Magpie: Having a child leave home is definitely one of life's big moments. From my experience, it is a very exciting experience as you see your child succeed, work through challenges, gain insight they own and find new connections that help them become stronger. It takes time, however. At first you don't see the progress - just the potential for danger. Over time, I believe God will give you reports that calm your heart and make you proud.

Swan: Little Magpie - Good, be sure to ask the doctor about anxiety levels and the affects they are having on you. Even with all that is going on a level of anxiety is to be expected for anyone, but when it affects your system like it seems to be, it is best to have a check done on that. I am not exactly an emotional person, spend many years of my life being more hard as nails as a defense measure, but when I got hormonal age, oh my I found myself crying at all kinds of things and any little amount of stress would send me spinning as I tried to find resolve. My being a lifelong planner played a factor as well, I didn't do well with sudden left hooks, it is all better now, but for a time it was a wild ride. Love my doctors at the Naval Hospital, they took good care of me and got everything back in balance.

Little Magpie: Bill / Swan - One of the things that are making me anxious is that she is living in a quad. There are 4 individual bedrooms and two baths with a common area that has Kitchen and Living Room. They had their 4th show up and it is a boy. The dorms are co-ed but they (she and the two that were their early) were sure they were all girls. They aren't happy and neither are we. We don't know what kind of action we can take and are spending a lot of time praying. Due to my traumatized past, I am really nervous about this situation

Bill: Little Magpie: Understood. Has your D checked into options with the "powers to be" to find out what she can and can't do about this? I would not like it if this was my daughter and I would try to convince her that this is a great opportunity for her to learn how to stand up for herself and seek creative solutions to situations she is uncomfortable with.

Swan: Little Magpie - Her door has a lock? She will just need to remember to lock it at night. Or having a male can be a positive; he can become like a brother and will look out after the girls! I lived in a co-ed barracks when I was in the Marine Corps, I had my own room and spent most of my time there, I just couldn't hang out in my jammies in the common areas! Please don't stress yourself, don't borrow trouble that may not be there. Stay cautious, but don't let worry steal your peace.

Little Magpie: Swan - Her door locks and they actually stay that way. She spends a lot of time in her room and watches Netflix in her free time. With the time change it is difficult to connect. I am trying to remain positive and praying the Lord's protection over her.

Swan: Hey dumbfounded how are you tonight?

Little Magpie: Hello dumbfounded2 - How are you?

Bill: Hi Dumbfounded2 - Welcome

dumbfounded2: To all: Hello and hope you are all doing well.

Swan: Little Magpie - Email is a wonderful thing for time zone differences. I agree with Bill this is a great opportunity for her to step out on her own and with the two other girls they can seek guidance from a counselor, dorm supervisor, etc. But let her handle it first it will be great life experience for her as she takes that path to interdependence of adulthood

Little Magpie: Swan - Thanks

Little Magpie: dumbfounded2 - How have you been?

Bill: Little Magpie and Swan: It didn't occur to me until Swan said it that she could be gaining a brother in this journey. It seems like a good thing to keep a watch on. Of course, we would want her to make noise quickly if anything inappropriate happens but he could also be a God send to help her feel safer. Praying for wisdom. Having said all that, I still think there is value in her and her female exploring their options.

dumbfounded2: Little magpie: I am doing fine. H and I went fishing today and the weather is great. We had a good time

Little Magpie: dumbfounded2 - That sounds like fun! Were they biting?

Swan: Little Magpie - Send her a hand held air horn to keep near her bed and a police whistle to keep on her person; they make great alert systems and usually bring others to attention and rescue.

dumbfounded2: Little Magpie - Not biting today but the Lake we were on is one that we are thinking about building a home on so we had fun looking at possible locations.

Little Magpie: Swan - don't know if I could ship her an air horn but a whistle. They make some pretty jewelry ones that are inconspicuous because they just look like a necklace charm, if I can find one.

Little Magpie: Swan - thanks for the ideas

Swan: Little Magpie - And she could always look into the availability of self defense courses at the University or in the local area, always a good thing to know how to use.

Little Magpie: dumbfounded2 - that sounds wonderful!

Bill: All: I need to logoff early tonight. I am participating in a webinar at 6 pm. So, goodbye until next week. Keep looking up for we are more than conquerors in Christ!

Little Magpie: All - it seems so weird to not have her here for Youth Group tonight

Swan: Little Magpie - she could most likely get the air horn herself too

dumbfounded2: Bill- Goodnight

Swan: Night Bill

Little Magpie: Bill - Take care! God Bless!

Little Magpie: Swan - that is true. I think her Grandparents and I are a lot more upset than she is.

Little Magpie: All - It was nice catching up with you and hope you have a blessed week!! Dumbfounded - So glad you and your H had a nice time on the lake today!! Swan - Thanks again. I might drop by YG to see who is there and get some teenager time.

Swan: Night ladies

Swan: Little Magpie - You have a great week and yes give YG some extra attention, it will be good for both of you

Little Magpie: Bill - Thanks! Adjustment is difficult. Having a hard time with sleep and staying focused. I end up crying at the weirdest things. H is doing his hobby in your area and due to the financials is unable to bring anyone with him. We got a puppy so have those to adjust around too.

Bill: Little Magpie: Adjustment is difficult - that may be the understatement of the day. I know change is good for us but most of us would prefer not to change very much. We like knowing what to expect and how to handle the situations that come our way. Life does not seem content to do that, however. Even good things (like puppies) require maturity, decision-making, patience and humility!

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