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July 05, 2017 / Wednesday Chat with Bill

Swan: Bill - That sounds awesome. Everyone seems to think that families suddenly become aware of everything they need to know and that is so far from the truth. My husband and I didn't really have good examples of a family, so when we entered into marriage, sadly we were very unequipped. Sadly we didn't provide a very good example either for our children, at least as adults they have been willing to listen to things I have learned from my own failings.

Bill: Swan: I also don't know anywhere else, except churches and camps, where you can get the truth about families. The world definitely has a lot to say but so much of it is unattainable and inconsistent with the way God made life. I feel very fortunate to have learned from very faithful people since neither Pam nor I had great role models to follow. Our experience gives us confidence that anyone who wants to figure it out can if they are willing to learn and humbly accept God's direction.

 

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July 05, 2017 / Wednesday Chat with Bill

Little Magpie: Bill and Swan - Hello

Bill: Good evening Swan and Little Magpie

Swan: Hi Bill and Little Magpie - hope your holiday was joyous and stress free.

Bill: I am currently at Forest Home teaching at a family camp. Our 4th was quite calm because there are no fireworks allowed in the forest. Cutest parade ever with all the kids in camp!

Little Magpie: Bill - that sounds magical. What are you teaching on?

Swan: Bill - there are no fireworks allowed in San Diego country either, other than the official displays, but my neighborhood was lit up last night, some of them as good as what I saw on television. We live too close to Mexico and in spite of the boarder inspections, things come across the board and fireworks is one of them.

Little Magpie: Swan and Bill - Fireworks are outlawed in our area too but they kept waking us up anyway.

Swan: Bill - the east coast in July, I can handle hot it is humid that I don't do too well. Kids and parades are always so cute.

Bill: All: Pam and I are the "morning" speakers at camp. Forest Home has a Bible teacher at night and a Family Life educator in the morning. WE are doing a Simple Skills series with a focus on decision-making, making changes in life based on the developmental stage we find ourselves in and intentional parenting. The people have come with soft hearts so we are getting great feedback. A lot of "I have never heard this before" even though we think it is information everybody ought to know. Good confirmation for us to keep going!

Swan: Bill - that sounds awesome. Everyone seems to think that families suddenly become aware of everything they need to know and that is so far from the truth. My husband and I didn't really have good examples of a family, so when we entered into marriage, sadly we were very unequipped. Sadly we didn't provide a very good example either for our children, at least as adults they have been willing to listen to things I have learned from my own failings.

Bill: Swan: I also don't know anywhere else, except churches and camps, where you can get the truth about families. The world definitely has a lot to say but so much of it is unattainable and inconsistent with the way God made life. I feel very fortunate to have learned from very faithful people since neither Pam nor I had great role models to follow. Our experience gives us confidence that anyone who wants to figure it out can if they are willing to learn and humbly accept God's direction.

Swan: Bill - Unfortunately so much of society uses television and celebrities as role models for much of life and boy that is so sad. But it does explain why so much immoral behavior is acceptable.

Swan: Little Magpie - how are things with your daughter this week?

Bill: Swan: Well said. It is also fascinating for us because our oldest son is here with his family. He knows the "real" story of our family so his input and reactions are important to us. It has been encouraging to hear him affirm what we have been teaching and adding in some of his own wisdom in discussions that naturally break out at camp. It is a little "self-conscious" but rewarding at the same time.

Little Magpie: Bill - that sounds wonderful and rewarding. Swan- it's tough. YD is with H working on loan application process and we think the kinks have finally been worked out of her financial aid application that was submitted in October, she was accepted to a third school in the area she is off to. I can't deal with it so H has to handle things along with others.

Little Magpie: Swan - H and d's were in our local parade for the holiday yesterday and I took a photo of them.

Bill: Little Magpie: It sounds like a positive thing that H is helping YD work through the financial realities of going to college. It is also encouraging to hear that she has been accepted to yet another school. She must have good grades and/or interviews skillfully.

Little Magpie: Bill - she does have good grades. She was told at an early age that if she wanted to go to college it would be on good grades and scholarships because we didn't have finances to save for it. Only, she didn't really apply for many scholarships so she has to take out a loan, hopefully she will get enough and if the FA form is finally right, maybe her school will offer her some FA

Swan: Little Magpie - it is good that your husband is stepping up and dealing with the school issues with your daughter. Dealing with that can be very stressful, heck my grandson is only a junior in high school this coming school year and he and his parents are already trying to prepare for some of that. He has had interviews with three schools and they are looking at applications for funding. I never would have thought about looking into this before senior year. Things have changed from when I graduated is all I am saying.

Little Magpie: All - I just get sick thinking about it. H didn't go to college and doesn't know how to do the hoops. He has been deferring it all to me or her since it is her college. I let him know he needed to be the parent and help her navigate, he is trying and I am thankful.

Bill: Little Magpie: Just pray for your D and H. FA is a funny world and there is a lot of money floating around for education. If she stays diligent and keeps asking, she will be amazed at how assistance she finds. Loans can be a burden but they also are a blessing if they enable her to find success in a career she loves. My experience is it is best to keep talking with the FA office, develop a relationship with someone in the department and ask God to bless the efforts.

Little Magpie: Swan - Now is the time for that. I knew we didn't have funds so I didn't start. I didn't know where to start since everything is online and not in big books in the Library anymore.

Bill: Little Magpie: I would mildly echo some of your H's thoughts. It is most strategic for her to learn the ropes of FA and to get to know someone in the FA office of the institution she lands at. It is, of course, helpful if we, as adults, can give guidance and support but it is most efficient if she takes ownership of her education and lets people at her school see her motivation.

Swan: Little Magpie - My grandson is fortunate, he has a very involved counselor at school, he is in mostly AP classes and the counselor set up interviews with three colleges last year. The Air Force Academy was one, his grandfather having been a military officer will also help with that a little. He has a plan though that involves going to a college near home the first couple years and then transferring to a university for his master’s degree.

Bill: Little Magpie: FYI, there is someone at her school who "knows" how all this works. That person tends to be in the background handling paperwork and coordinating with various avenues of funding. They feed information to the "up front" people who represent the school to the students. Those who go through normal channels with normal situations are content to meet with the advisers and do what they can. I suspect your D is savvy enough to discover who this person is, or develop a good enough relationship with an adviser who would bring that person into the discussion. This usually only goes to the diligent.

Little Magpie: Swan - That is Awesome! Bill - High School is done but I have been emailing with a person at the College, asking questions. Most scholarships have closed by now but I thought we could see. The bad part is my laptop died in late 2014 and I haven't been able to replace it. I will see what I can do on the desktop but find it of more use to go to a coffee shop w/D and log in together (I did with her sister). We haven't because she was trying to be independent and didn't want my help

Bill: Little Magpie: Well, if she wants to figure it out on her own, I would let her with the understanding that I would jump in if she asks respectfully. This could be a great growing experience for her and she may amaze both of you with her skill and initiative.

Little Magpie: Bill - It's past time to jump in. I hope we can find some scholarships open. She should be able to do work study, I was told. So I hope that works out.

Little Magpie: Bill - Did you and Pam figure things out when it came to your S or did they?

Little Magpie: All - my MIL was released from the care center last F but has been doing a lot on her own this week. My d's tell me that gram is doing things on her own even if she isn't supposed to...

Swan: Little Magpie - it is good that she is wanting to try; I hope she won't over do.

Bill: Little Magpie: It was different with each son. We helped our oldest early on but by his sophomore year, he was handling things. Our middle son pretty much figured it out on his own. It was important to him to be independent so we gave very little help. Our youngest wanted more involvement so we helped him more but eventually he took over the process.

Little Magpie: Swan - I take her to the surgeon whom we were unhappy with - on Friday so I hope she gets a good report. I was unable to make the Primary Care physician visit Monday (I had to work)

Bill: I hate to do this but the dinner bell just rang so the evening has begun. Also, I will be absent next week. Our whole family is joining us for family vacation so I will be very distracted! See you in two weeks.

Swan: Night Bill

Little Magpie: Bill - Enjoy! Thank you!

Swan: Bill - That sounds awesome. Everyone seems to think that families suddenly become aware of everything they need to know and that is so far from the truth. My husband and I didn't really have good examples of a family, so when we entered into marriage, sadly we were very unequipped. Sadly we didn't provide a very good example either for our children, at least as adults they have been willing to listen to things I have learned from my own failings.

Bill: Swan: I also don't know anywhere else, except churches and camps, where you can get the truth about families. The world definitely has a lot to say but so much of it is unattainable and inconsistent with the way God made life. I feel very fortunate to have learned from very faithful people since neither Pam nor I had great role models to follow. Our experience gives us confidence that anyone who wants to figure it out can if they are willing to learn and humbly accept God's direction.

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