Swan: KmKrn - that is me too, plus things I shouldn't have said! I often have to remind myself to zip my lips and just not say what is going through my mind. I spent so many years being muffled and not allowed to have an opinion, then my time in the military taught me to stand up for myself and speak my mind. I have to say a combination of both were not good for my relationship with my husband and probably caused him a huge amount of confusion. As I am older, I am working more on discerning what comes out of my mouth, sometimes I slip, but am much better.
Kmkrn: Swan - Yes that is a "habit" to be learned and practiced--zipping the lips! I can say whatever I want in my head--just don't let it come out of my mouth!
HopinginHim1: Cricket - I truly hope that to be the case. I know, at times, the fact that 5 years has passed (6 since he started some "flirting" with the OW), I get discouraged. I never thought it would take this long. But then, I try to focus on the blessings in my life - time with friends, new interests, etc and find the good in the current. I do believe one day he will make his way home.
Cricket: HopinginHim - Jim always warned us not to lock into the 5 yr period. I also feel that is true with personalities like your H and mine. They have to find their own way and their stubbornness adds to their journey. You are so right in focusing on the blessings. Also, it would probably be more difficult for you to have this time with your Mom if your H were home now and you were trying to work on restoration
HopinginHim1: All - Can anyone speak to the incredible back and forth that goes on with our spouses? It has been 5 years since H left. He is making progress but at times I see bits of replay and other behavior that makes me want to scream. And yet, he is reaching out more to our children and also spending more time with me. We even took a family holiday all together for a week in Florida in February. It can be crazy making!!
Kmkrn: HopinginHim - The road home is loaded with detours and potholes. There is lots of backtracking and back and forth. Fasten your seat belt as Sally Conway would say--it's a heck of a ride!