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June 10, 2018 / Sunday

Swan: All - As a kid, I took care of my siblings, sometimes my mother and step father, then I became a Marine and took care of myself, during my marriage I cared for two kids and did what needed to be done as a Marine wife which usually meant being the one that took care of the family so my husband could take care of being a Marine. And as my husband started diving into the MLC tunnels, my kids were grown up and I didn't have much left to take care of other than for myself. I actually am doing better at it living with my son, daughter in law and grandson, it has gotten easier to allow others to help me and not take everything on myself.

Beth: Swan I am the oldest in the family and everybody came to me when they needed help or advice. When my father was in the hospital I used to be the one talking to the Dr not my mother. It was always me who went to St John’s in my car to see him or take him for appts. The same thing happened when my mother took sick. Again when my youngest brother took sick with brain tumor. Then one sister was badly depressed and had three major surgeries on her bowels. Everybody used to step back and let me do it all.

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June 10, 2018 / Sunday

Beth: Good evening

Beth: Good evening Swan how are you?

Swan: Hi Beth, I am doing good

Beth: Swan that is good

Swan: I was just on the phone with cricket, she is having trouble getting into the room, but since we are here, I am going to guess it isn't chat.

Swan: Beth - How are you feeling?

Beth: Swan I never had any problem tonight. Sometimes I do.

Beth: Swan I seem to get tired some days easily. Some of my friends think it is surgery and I don’t know what to think. A lot of nights I do not sleep well.

Beth: Cricket welcome. How are you?

Swan: Beth - I agree it could be the surgery, anytime the body is sent into shock; it seems to want to repair itself with rest.

Swan: Cricket - you made it, YEAH

Cricket: Well I finally got in but windows kept opening that were obviously a problem. I kept getting the window to update my Flash player and other windows even after I re-booted. But my persistence finally paid off. I did get a warning from Norton that they had blocked an unsafe site.

Beth: Swan I don’t know what to think. The surgeon said I could what I felt up to doing because he is not cutting any muscle. I am doing housework now. I picked up few groceries. I can’t avoid doing things when I do not feel sick.

Cricket: All - I'm good, been really busy and dealing with some stressful political stuff in my position but hanging in there. Praying in agreement with you Beth. Also been in touch with Grace, so sad about the death of her son, so young and the memorial was today.

Beth: Cricket yes it is so sad about Grace’s. Nobody wants to bury their child.

Cricket: Beth - Yes so tragic and just before he was scheduled to graduate and go on to college. Even harder when all of his friends are graduating and celebrating. Heartbreaking.

Swan: Beth - Actually that is a good attitude, when I was very sick a few years back; my doctor told me that I had to expend energy to build energy. There were days I had a hard time even standing up much less walking, but I would walk around my condo a few times a day, then when I got stronger I would go up the stairs and walk around the parking area, and the doctor was correct the more I moved the better it became, but I have to tell you for a few months I had to force myself because it took everything out of me.

Beth: Cricket, yes it is sad. They say it is the hardest thing a parent has to do.

Cricket: All - Thankfully Grace is also focusing on her other son's graduation but still, so hard for him too.

Cricket: Swan - I agree, we have to push ourselves to do a little to rebuild the energy but also take care not to overdo things. A hard balance.

Swan: Cricket - I am glad you are in touch with Grace; it is so hard when a child passes and I am really glad she has something else to focus on, which is an important key.

Beth: Swan sometimes I feel it is surgery and Dr did tamper with my body. But it was easy surgery. I never had any pain. I never got my prescription filled for pain meds because I never had any.

Beth: Dani hi, how are you?

Beth: Cricket I feel find doing my housework. No pain or stiffness. Just some days I do not have much energy. Some days I give in and lie down even if I do not go to sleep.

Swan: Cricket - there were days when I would take my car keys with me, always parked right at the stairwell entry and once I got to the top, I would just sit in my car until I had enough strength to make it back down the stairs. I was concerned at a point because it was winter and there were not many residents around during that time, but the property manager noticed I wasn't feeling well and starting checking on me. He and his wife were really sweet, his wife even made me a few meals (left over’s from their dinner) and brought them by for me.

Dani: Hi Beth I am well, thank you. Hi Swan and Cricket

Cricket: Beth - It is good to do some things each day, as Swan said, it's important to rebuild your strength but still listen to your body so you don't do too much.

Cricket: Hey Dani -good to see you.

Beth: Cricket when my back was bad last winter and spring I felt a lot worst then this. I didn’t even notice I have a cut.

Swan: Beth - even when there isn't much pain, the body needs to restore itself whenever anything like surgery, broken bones, etc. happen, so please do what you can, but also rest.

Swan: Hi Dani

Cricket: Swan - Neighbors like those are hard to find and such a gift. I can totally imagine you doing this, pushing yourself to get stronger but taking steps as you know you are alone.

Dani: Swan, it sounds like you were really having a hard time and it is hard to not let discouragement make us feel worse too. Glad you are past that.

Swan: Cricket - I really appreciated this couple, they actually didn't live in the condo complex, but he was over there daily checking on the area, doing tasks, making sure other things got done, etc.

Cricket: Swan - Sure sounds like the Lord put them there for a reason.... for you!

Beth: Swan I am not overdoing it. I feel so good that I remind myself that I did have surgery and not to overdo it. I just do a bit every day. I lie down to rest some days. Some days I do not. Feel tired.

Cricket: Dani - How are things going with you and your family?

Dani: Beth - It sounds like you are finding a good balance and listening to your body too.

Dani: Cricket, We are well, thank you. Tired and busy, but well!

Beth: Dani it can get boring some days. I read a lot too.

Cricket: Strange, I know Dani is here but she isn't listed on my side bar as in the room.

Dani: Beth is your weather getting nicer? We have had some really nice spring days and I always feel so much better when the sun is out and it is not so cold. It is so much easier to get around and be outside and be in the fresh air.

Dani: Cricket strange, yes! I'm here!

Cricket: Dani - I know. I had a lot of trouble logging in so it's probably something to do with that.

Beth: Dani we had a couple of nice days but not many. Yesterday the sun would shine and then rain shower. Friday it was beautiful but got colder suddenly. I have only wore Capri pants about 3 times. We are supposed to have rain almost all week unless it changes.

Beth: Dani I feel better when sun shining. I have way more energy.

Swan: Dani - I have a blood deficiency of the vitamin K, have had my entire life, but when I was dealing with menopause, I had a bout where my system dumped almost all vitamin K in my system, which cause me to bleed excessively. I have had that happen a couple other times in my life but the menopause made it dangerous to the point that I could barely move and my body felt so heavy. Once I got to a place I could sit again, I would be ok. I finally was able to get up the stairs, it took me a long time, but I got in my car and made the two hour drive to the Army base, where my doctor was and went to the emergency bay, they wheeled me in and one of the staff there was nice enough to park my car and bring in my bag. They kept me there for almost two weeks, by the way vitamin K shots hurt!! But I did what I needed to do, the medical staff watched over me and then I listened to my doctor and am better now. I did got in trouble because I didn't tell anyone what was going on, I even took my computer and kept up on email, chat, etc. But when my daughter found out, she wasn't happy, then she told her brother and he was less happy with me. They contacted my sister and asked her to go to the hospital and see me and call them. My sister was upset with me too, but that is who I am; I have never been one to want fuss, so I just take care of things myself.

Cricket: All - So strange to hear Dani & Beth talk about rain/cool weather when we are having warm temperatures. When I was driving home from So. CA last weekend, it was 113 when I left and 103 almost all the way home. It cooled down to 70's the past several days and my area doesn’t usually get over 100 but we forget that weather can be so different on the other coast.

Beth: Swan I am glad you are feeling much better now.

Cricket: Swan- Particularly during this journey, I've learned to do these things too. Every once in awhile friends or family get upset with me too but hey. I had a pretty severe head injury a couple months ago and didn't mention it and friends got upset I didn't call for help. We get used to taking care of things and not asking for help.

Beth: Cricket the past few years we have not got a good June. We get a much warmer Sept. we also have icebergs I some of our bays so it is usually colder when they are around.

Dani: Swan wow, I did not know that was going on! I wondered, when you said it was a few years ago. I had not remembered knowing you were sick! That sounds severe and must have been pretty scary. Sometimes we need our family to MAKE us take care of ourselves. Glad they were there for you!

Cricket: Beth- We've had a cooler June than normal but still at least in the mid to upper 60's at least and generally in the mid 70's or more. Today there was a wildfire only 2 miles from me which we were all worried about as we've had some pretty strong winds. Thankfully they just got it out a few minutes ago.

Swan: Cricket - it was after that hospital stay that my kids started really pressing me to move back to California, so here I am. Heck most days I feel good enough to as one customer put it run circles around the young kids that work there. But I don't know about that, standing and moving so much does take its toll on my 60 year old body, but Icy Hot and a hot shower usually help that - LOL!

Beth: Cricket I find some of my friends here do not ask for help either. They have been living alone so long and gotten so independent they can’t seem to ask for help. I know when I had to have surgery, needed a ride to the other hospital and back to ours I felt like I was a bother.

Cricket: Swan - Yes, friends kid me about my energy and things I do. Someone was getting a healthy energy drink when a group of us were together and they joked not to bother getting Cricket one as she has too much energy already!! Of course I have my times but I do pretty well too.

Dani: Swan, didn't realize you had a head injury either!! Are you better now?

Swan: Beth - I know what you mean, I never want to be a bother or burden to anyone, but I have also gotten the lecture from so many that I now ask for help a little more. It is part of my must work on thing I have with myself.

Dani: Cricket - I mean I didn't realize YOU had a head injury! Ok now?

Swan: Cricket - sometimes I think that has more to do with work ethic, the younger crowd these days just don't have same devotion to their jobs, I just don't know how to work any other way.

Cricket: Dani - It was me that had the head injury but it was actually a laceration to my forehead and I didn't get stitches because when I went to urgent care, they were so backed up with the severe flu cases that had caused some deaths that I didn't stay. The wife of our Chief is a nurse and she went to CVS and got supplies and taped me up. I still have a scar but it's doing better.

Beth: Swan when my back gave out last winter I had to humble myself down and ask for help with some things. As soon as I could pick up groceries I went to the store. I needed a cart from the corral to walk to store and back. I used to get my walker and bring the groceries in to my apt.

Swan: Beth - As one person put it to me, I was cheating them out of blessings by not allowing them to help me. I had never thought of it that way.

Beth: Swan maybe it was you who told that to me before. I am not sure but I heard it before.

Cricket: Dani - It was really funny because I talked to her about something else and casually mentioned it and she got on my case and told me she was going to the pharmacy and if I could drive, meet her there so she'd know what I needed. She took care of it in the parking lot! She had been one of the students at the local school when I used to go in as a police officer so I've known her since she was a kid and later married our Chief. Funny to have her put her nurse hat on and lecture me. Still nothing as severe as what Swan went through.

Swan: Beth - shopping carts make the best walkers, I used one even if I was getting one thing.

Beth: Swan my physiotherapist told me back in 2015 to use a cart or walker.

Cricket: Swan - A close friend of mine who had been co-pastor with her husband told me something similar, about depriving them of blessing me.

Swan: All - As a kid, I took care of my siblings, sometimes my mother and step father, then I became a Marine and took care of myself, during my marriage I cared for two kids and did what needed to be done as a Marine wife which usually meant being the one that took care of the family so my husband could take care of being a Marine. And as my husband started diving into the MLC tunnels, my kids were grown up and I didn't have much left to take care of other than for myself. I actually am doing better at it living with my son, daughter in law and grandson, it has gotten easier to allow others to help me and not take everything on myself.

Beth: Swan I am the oldest in the family and everybody came to me when they needed help or advice. When my father was in the hospital I used to be the one talking to the Dr not my mother. It was always me who went to St John’s in my car to see him or take him for appts. The same thing happened when my mother took sick. Again when my youngest brother took sick with brain tumor. Then one sister was badly depressed and had three major surgeries on her bowels. Everybody used to step back and let me do it all.

Beth: ladies I am going to say good night. I am starting to feel tired and it is almost 11:30 here.

Swan: Beth - I think that is the curse of being the oldest, you grow up way before you should and end up with so much responsibility. I was the oldest and my husband was a middle child 5th of 7)

Swan: Night all, see you next week

Dani: Good night all! God Bless!

Swan: All - As a kid, I took care of my siblings, sometimes my mother and step father, then I became a Marine and took care of myself, during my marriage I cared for two kids and did what needed to be done as a Marine wife which usually meant being the one that took care of the family so my husband could take care of being a Marine. And as my husband started diving into the MLC tunnels, my kids were grown up and I didn't have much left to take care of other than for myself. I actually am doing better at it living with my son, daughter in law and grandson, it has gotten easier to allow others to help me and not take everything on myself.

Beth: Swan I am the oldest in the family and everybody came to me when they needed help or advice. When my father was in the hospital I used to be the one talking to the Dr not my mother. It was always me who went to St John’s in my car to see him or take him for appts. The same thing happened when my mother took sick. Again when my youngest brother took sick with brain tumor. Then one sister was badly depressed and had three major surgeries on her bowels. Everybody used to step back and let me do it all.

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