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June 05, 2018 / Tuesday

Swan: KmKrn - that is me too, plus things I shouldn't have said! I often have to remind myself to zip my lips and just not say what is going through my mind. I spent so many years being muffled and not allowed to have an opinion, then my time in the military taught me to stand up for myself and speak my mind. I have to say a combination of both were not good for my relationship with my husband and probably caused him a huge amount of confusion. As I am older, I am working more on discerning what comes out of my mouth, sometimes I slip, but am much better.

Kmkrn: Swan - Yes that is a "habit" to be learned and practiced--zipping the lips! I can say whatever I want in my head--just don't let it come out of my mouth!

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June 05, 2018 / Tuesday

Swan: Welcome to Tuesday evening chat

Swan: Hi KmKrn, how has your week been?

Kmkrn: Swan - Good evening!

Kmkrn: Swan - I spent the last 5 minutes having my computer tell me that I am "not connected to the Internet." Finally figured out that the 4 year old granddaughter was under the desk and pushed the "reset" button under there, so I had to reboot! Sorry!

Swan: KmKrn - How cute, little one's love buttons.

Kmkrn: Swan - Adorable! But my son's family has been living here the last 3 days while trying to get someone to come and fix their AC at their house! They just left an hour ago and I am exhausted!

Kmkrn: Swan - How is your week going? I'm sure that I will sleep well tonight!

Swan: KmKrn - The past few weeks on Saturday testimonies at Charlyne Cares I have noticed several are stating that they have or had been standing for many years. I kind of needed those reminders, I guess. My husband has been gone for 12 years and there are times I wonder if he is ever going to repent, come to his senses. I am still standing in that I pray for him, I think if him often, but I don't so much think about reconciliation at this point. I am not closed off to it, but considering I am still hearing bits and pieces when my son and daughter are together and mention their father, they still talk about how mean and nasty he is, how he angers quickly and is still in destruction mode. As strange as it sounds, I find myself feeling empathy for the other woman, my husband is destructive mode, no one deserves, not even her. My daughter still from time to time asks me when I am going to get on with my life and find someone who will treat me like I should be. My son doesn't ask that anymore, he accepts that I am at peace in my singleness.

Swan: KmKrn - my week has been good so far, I just had two days off and got most things I wanted to done, so I feel pretty good about that.

Swan: KmKrn - I enjoy company, especially family, but it is exhausting. When I lived in Branson and the kids came one year at Christmas for a week, I was so tired when they left; I missed them, but was glad to get back to my slow paced, quiet routine.

Kmkrn: Swan - I still love reading those Saturday testimonies! They are a very good reminder to "keep the faith!"

Kmkrn: Swan - Yes, exactly! I love my family and spoiling the grandchildren, but I want my house and slower routine back too!

Swan: KmKrn - I have read all of Bob's books, Tuesday with Bob, I have also read before a few times, but love reading those as well.

Kmkrn: Swan - Yes, I still get an email from her every day. She is a saint to keep supporting us!

Swan: KmKrn - She is a saint, I so enjoyed the times I got to spend with her and getting to meet Bob before he stopped traveling. She really walks the talk and never waivers in her commitment and is so graceful when others rebuke her.

Swan: I thought a couple others would be in tonight, they said they might.

Kmkrn: Swan - I met her on October 7, 2006 at Yellow Ribbon Day for Covenant Keeper's in Austin (with Lou Bearry). Suz was there too. While we were there my H called and asked me to dinner that night with old friends who were in town visiting (and did not know we were separated). He returned home after that night! Coincidence, I think not!

Kmkrn: Swan - Is Hannah "off" for June? Anyone else scheduled?

Swan: KmKrn - There is another lady I loved being around, Lou Bearry. I got to be with them a few time at Covenant Keepers in Tulsa. That is so awesome and just shows how God is working in the background.

Kmkrn: Swan - Yes, they are the definition of doing it "right" and listening to God instead of people who don't have a clue what we are going through. The world needs more of them!

Swan: KmKrn - I have you and I scheduled for June.

Kmkrn: Swan - OK!

Swan: KmKrn - The last time I was with Charlyne the lady with me was kind of militant in her stand and would sometimes attack others who didn't believe exactly as she did, it was awesome to watch Charlyne defuse her.

Kmkrn: Swan - Yes, she has the grace of God behind her and the Holy Spirit as well! I sometimes think of things that I "should have said" hours later...

Swan: KmKrn - Have you heard from Suz lately? I miss her, but am at fault in that, I just find myself not managing my time better and then forget things like emailing friends, siblings, etc.

Kmkrn: Swan - She has "gone quiet" if you can believe that of Suz. We used to talk all the time for hours, but I haven't talked to her in months (I called her for her birthday in Feb). I should try and "ring her up again!"

Swan: KmKrn - that is me too, plus things I shouldn't have said! I often have to remind myself to zip my lips and just not say what is going through my mind. I spent so many years being muffled and not allowed to have an opinion, then my time in the military taught me to stand up for myself and speak my mind. I have to say a combination of both were not good for my relationship with my husband and probably caused him a huge amount of confusion. As I am older, I am working more on discerning what comes out of my mouth, sometimes I slip, but am much better.

Kmkrn: Swan - Yes that is a "habit" to be learned and practiced--zipping the lips! I can say whatever I want in my head--just don't let it come out of my mouth!

Swan: KmKrn - If you want to head out I got the room, it looks like the others aren't going to make it, but if they do I will be here.

Kmkrn: Swan - Thanks! I'm pooped! My house is just not child proof anymore for a 17 month old and 4 year old; so I have barely sat down for 3 days! Have a good week! See you next Tuesday. Prayers for all those who need it--that would be everyone!

Swan: KmKrn - the other day my grandson said something that could come across as hurtful; I kind of commented to him that he didn't have to say everything he thinks. His comment to me was did I want him to lie? I told him no I don't want him to lie, but there is such a thing as saying nothing at all. The if you can't say anything good say nothing at all and how true it is. He later came into my room and said he understands what I was saying, he apologized to his mom.

Swan: KmKrn - Night have a great week

Kmkrn: Swan - So true! Good night and God bless!

Swan: KmKrn - that is me too, plus things I shouldn't have said! I often have to remind myself to zip my lips and just not say what is going through my mind. I spent so many years being muffled and not allowed to have an opinion, then my time in the military taught me to stand up for myself and speak my mind. I have to say a combination of both were not good for my relationship with my husband and probably caused him a huge amount of confusion. As I am older, I am working more on discerning what comes out of my mouth, sometimes I slip, but am much better.

Kmkrn: Swan - Yes that is a "habit" to be learned and practiced--zipping the lips! I can say whatever I want in my head--just don't let it come out of my mouth!

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