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April 08, 2018 /Sunday

Dani: Dogwood, that is hard to wait for things to change. So, this is hard to do when you have just been hurt by his decision to leave tonight. Jim Conway encouraged me to stop focusing on the time my husband was away that was hurting me, and start focusing on making the time he was home better. In other words, make your husband realize he is missing something by being away....whatever that is. Going someplace fun, cooking or eating something fantastic, watching the game with your own group of friends with out-of-this-world food. I remember the “Men In Midlife Crisis” book by Jim Conway said "...it is not fair, but we are in a competition with the other woman "so can you make your "game night" better than the one he is going to?”

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April 08, 2018 /Sunday

Brin: Welcome to Sunday evening chat. Hope you had a good weekend.

Dani: Hi Brin, I didn't expect to have you here tonight? How are you doing?

Brin: Hi Dani, Now I see you after logging out and logging in again. I'm doing ok. Hanging in there and trying to not do too much.

Brin: But it's hard when there isn't anyone around at home to help with cooking or laundry or shopping

Brin: How are you doing Dani?

HopinginHim1: Good Evening Ladies! I just got in from visiting my mom and had a few minutes so I thought I would say Hi! How are you both?

Dani: I am doing well, thank you. Yes, I am sure it is difficult. Is Scott willing to help you?

Dani: I see this week is your prayer week. I will be praying in particular for your requests this week.

Brin: Thank you Dani!

Swan: Hello ladies, I am glad you chatted tonight in spite of the date, we are having issues with the site, or at least I am, it doesn't want to let me into the back-end and is telling me the password has changed. Lisa says she didn't change it, so waiting to hear from Bill if he did.

Brin: Hi dogwood. How are you doing?

Dogwood: Hi everyone, good evening.

Dogwood: Hi Brin,

Dogwood: Good to see you are well enough to come to the Chat. Tonight is one of those "lonely" evening for me that I am glad to come to see everyone!

Brin: Dogwood, Glad to see you came to see us instead of keeping to yourself when feeling lonely.

Brin: Dogwood, what did you do this weekend?

Dani: Hi Dogwood, glad to have you here tonight!

Dogwood: I do have a praise to share although it has nothing to do with my H. God has answered prayers and bring back H's niece from severe back surgery complication, which caused her losing too much blood and lost kidney function and heart and breathing, blood in her brain. She was unconscious for a couple weeks, and I went to visit her a month ago and yesterday for the third time, she is now sitting up and can talk and had her memory back completely. She was given a second back surgery on 3/27 which was successful. Anyway, long story, she still has a long way to fully recover to walk, etc. but she is now off the dialysis, and the breathing tube, IV, etc. Glory to the Lord who heals her.

Brin: Dogwood, Praise God for your niece's recovery. That is wonderful! So happy for you too!

Dogwood: Brin, Yes, H said bye to me at 4:00 pm rushed out to watch ball game at OW's house. I was very unhappy about it and he knows that, but he cannot get out of the addition of watching ball games with "group" of friends including OW. I still don't know how to deal with him. Continue to seek God's guidance and leave it for Him to deal with H

Dani: Dogwood! How terrible!! From a back surgery!? I know back surgery can be serious but that is a crazy complication! So glad to hear she is healing!

Brin: Dogwood - I hear you about your H. I don't know either. Only God knows. Other than being patient and kind with your H, I don't know what else you can do.

Dani: Dogwood. I can see how that would make you unhappy. I know this is weird, but has he ever asked you to go with him or have you ever asked to go?

Dogwood: Hi, it is really hard to understand that Anita (the young woman's name) is H's niece, but H does not have a close relationship with his own brother, therefore although he went with me to visit her (2 hours away) for the first time, he doesnot want to come along for the recent 2 visits, I know he is still trying to hide himself from his own family and old friends, he feels he is a failure because his business is still not doing well.

Dogwood: Brin, no, he would not take me or invite them to come to our house. I do not even know their names... except that I ran into him with the OW, and discovered his other life 7 years ago.

Brin: Dogwood, it must have hurt a lot to run into your H and OW!

Dani: Dogwood, We have experienced that in our family as well. My h's father died from lung cancer and although my h's brother lived in the same town and had a good relationship with his father, he did not go see him in the hospital. He found it too difficult and as much as I don't get it, I know it is not that unusual either.

Brin: Dogwood, I can see why your H wants to avoid seeing the niece or the family if hi feeling like a failure.

Dani: Dogwood, so remind me, is the relationship over with the ow, as far as what your h says?

Dogwood: Dani, that's good to know... H said it makes him depressed... I am not really that strong when it comes to hospital visit, but I felt an urge to pray for her and wanted to let her know that God loves her.

Dogwood: Brin, that was the beginning of this journey 7 years ago, which I told the story at the retreat

Dogwood: Dani, He said that he has changed, but he does not want to cut off with her, he does not stay after the game, he said that he does not do anything wrong, just to watch game, in fact, he also eats his dinner there every time. He said one person in the group is a chef who cooks very well...I told him that he should stop see her even in the group. I told him that I can't trust him when he continues to go over, but he said that he "will" change" but that has been at least a year ago, when he said that he would make change.

Dogwood: Hi Swan, it is a little past 7:00 pm. How are you doing today?

Brin: Dogwood, Swan isn't here right now.

Brin: Dani, Dogwood, I am getting sleepy and need to get some rest. Thank you both for being here tonight. It was good to chat!

Brin: Hope you have a great week

Dani: Dogwood, that is hard to wait for things to change. So, this is hard to do when you have just been hurt by his decision to leave tonight. Jim Conway encouraged me to stop focusing on the time he was away that was hurting me, and start focusing on making the time he was home better. In other words, make him realize he is missing something by being away....whatever that is. Going someplace fun, cooking or eating something fantastic, watching the game with your own group of friends with out-of-this-world food. I remember the “Men In Midlife Crisis” book by Jim Conway said "...it is not fair, but we are in a competition with the other woman "so can you make your "game night" better than the one he is going to?”

Dogwood: Brin, thanks for letting me know because her name is certainly showing up here. Now I got it, you must be taking her place. Yes, you all have a good week. I need to go take a walk before it gets dark. Are you able to do everything now?

Dani: Have a healing week Brin! Will be praying with you.

Dogwood: Dani, Thank you for the reminder or suggestions. I am working during the week and he is not and he goes to watch ball game every day before I get home from work...I shall figure out something.

Dani: I know....MLC is crazy isn't it?! I think you are doing great, and sometimes just being patient is just as important

Dani: Good night all. Will be praying for you as well Dogwood!

Dani: Dogwood, that is hard to wait for things to change. So, this is hard to do when you have just been hurt by his decision to leave tonight. Jim Conway encouraged me to stop focusing on the time my husband was away that was hurting me, and start focusing on making the time he was home better. In other words, make your husband realize he is missing something by being away....whatever that is. Going someplace fun, cooking or eating something fantastic, watching the game with your own group of friends with out-of-this-world food. I remember the “Men In Midlife Crisis” book by Jim Conway said "...it is not fair, but we are in a competition with the other woman "so can you make your "game night" better than the one he is going to?”

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