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April 04, 2018/ Wednesday

Swan: Bluebird - I understand, I am open to what God has for me. I don't understand many things about my husband, he is in a relationship with a woman he calls ugly names as a joke, he tells everyone that he is miserable every second of every day, he always hated traveling yet has taken a position at his job that keeps him traveling constantly and has said it is so he doesn't have to be with her. He had no trouble divorcing me when he first became unhappy with our marriage, yet he stays in a marriage with someone he says he is miserable with, that he hates, etc. Just don't get it, but also when I hear these things it shows me that he is still in the middle of the insanity and given the peace I have, I want no part of his insanity.

Bluebird: Swan, I am glad you are staying away while he is in this state. I have thought the same as well, that if he is so unhappy then OW can be the one to witness all the insanity. I am just at peace finally as well. Like you I don't understand! I think the biggest part of my growth and healing came from stopping to try to figure his MLC out. I finally put the focus on myself for awhile and beautiful things are happening I don't mind being alone, there is so much I like about it! No more snoring! LOL LOL. On a serious note, I still would like to be loved as I am by my spouse.

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April 04, 2018/ Wednesday

Bluebird: Hello and good evening

Swan: Hi Bluebird

Bluebird: How are you this evening, Swan?

Swan: Bluebird - I am good tonight, just got home from work so a little tired, but I will sleep well tonight. How are you tonight?

Bluebird: I am doing well. I am working on my state taxes. I was so happy when I finished with Federal, then a few days later I realized I still had more to file! At least I remembered!

Swan: Bluebird - Yes, good that you remembered.

Swan: Hi Bill

Bluebird: I'm sorry to hear that you are so tired. But like you said, you will sleep well. I felt drained when I got home a couple hours ago, but I refreshed for now.

Bluebird: Hello Bill

Swan: Bluebird - I sadly keep forgetting that my body isn't as young and able as it once was, tasks need to be done, so I jump and sometimes I over do, it is on me.

Bluebird: Swan, I think I mentioned to you that I found this chat when H first left 6 years ago. I used to come on a lot at first and there were so many people struggling with the same situation. I have often wondered how many of the MLC were resolved and if any of them stop by now and again?

Swan: Bluebird - we have some that still stop in, David Alan comes from time to time, Dani's husband is home and they are reconciled, KmKrn is another with a restored marriage, her husband is still experiencing some MLC, but is mostly out of the tunnel. There are others as well that have restored marriages that come into chat at times. You might remember Jo, her husband who had been gone many years, in fact was married to the other woman, he and Jo reconciled, she doesn't come to chat anymore.

Swan: Bluebird - I too found this site years back and there were more people that came to chat, the site has gone through some changes and the number of sites that deal with MLC has increased. We even had one person who came into chat all the time that started her own site and sadly began to bad mouth Jim and the site. Her comments were unfounded, especially in regards to Jim, but the enemy attacks in many ways and sometimes in ways that you wouldn't expect. Bill has some plans for the site and I am excited to see them when he gets them in place, it will increase the usage of the site and I believe will help get people to the helpful information available here.

Bluebird: Swan, It’s good to hear of the few that have restored. I remember a few; Dove I remember Buttons, and Cricket. I know there were so many more. I guess I want to know when/if they knew when it was time to move on.

Bluebird: That's so sad that one would bad mouth, especially everyone being in the same situations. The information on this site helped me so much in the beginning; I know it was the leading of the Holy Spirit. I even just gave the link to this site to some friends of mine who are nearing the mid to late forties just for the information provided.

Swan: Bluebird - I personally think that when and if one moves on, is something God gives them peace for. There are a couple that came to chat that stopped standing for their marriages and have become involved with someone else, both believe it was a God lead choice. Cricket has stopped her stand for her marriage, she isn't looking for another relationship, she has come to feel that God has released her from the relationship with her husband. As for myself, I am still standing for my marriage, but with a different feeling than I had before. My husband has become an angry person and I believe that God is protecting me from that, therefore, as long as my husband chooses to be angry, violent, drink in excess, etc. there will continue to be no contact between he and I. God has given me a peace in singleness, so that is where I am.

Bluebird: Swan, It seems that Bill may not have made it tonight.

Swan: Bluebird - I agree, but it is what it is. This site has standards and her site is more of a bash your mate/other person and each other, so...

Swan: Bluebird - I am not sure what happened to Bill, he was here, but does get busy trying to do more than one task at a time, but normally when anyone types his name a chime alerts him. He hasn't responded, so I am thinking he might be having come connection issues, which he sometimes has when he is traveling.

Bluebird: Swan, when I came back to this site a couple weeks ago, I was at perfect peace with leaving the past behind and being open if another relationship came into being. Then when H said the things he did my hopes went back up and I became confused. Now I am back at the 'I'm at peace with moving on' stage. Like you, I have decided I don't want the drinking/smoking pot thing every night. My H is not angry anymore. He used to be for years. I truly don't believe he is going to leave OW and even if he does, the time it will take for him to grieve for that and get our relationship right will be so long! But I am still open to want God will bring whatever that may be.

Swan: Bluebird - I understand, I am open to what God has for me. I don't understand many things about my husband, he is in a relationship with a woman he calls ugly names as a joke, he tells everyone that he is miserable every second of every day, he always hated traveling yet has taken a position at his job that keeps him traveling constantly and has said it is so he doesn't have to be with her. He had no trouble divorcing me when he first became unhappy with our marriage, yet he stays in a marriage with someone he says he is miserable with, that he hates, etc. Just don't get it, but also when I hear these things it shows me that he is still in the middle of the insanity and given the peace I have, I want no part of his insanity.

Bluebird: Swan, I am glad you are staying away while he is in this state. I have thought the same as well, that if he is so unhappy then OW can be the one to witness all the insanity. I am just at peace finanlly as well. Like you I don't understand! I think the biggest part of my growth and healing came from stopping to try to figure his MLC out. I finally put the focus on myself for awhile and beautiful things are happening I don't mind being alone, there is so much I like about it! No more snoring! LOL LOL. On a serious note, I still would like to be loved as I am by my spouse.

Swan: Bluebird - I lived alone for some years, but the past few I live with my son, daughter in law and grandson. I was good being alone and still get my own private time here. I had to jump off the rollercoaster, at first I was looking at everything he did or didn't do, and it just caused me an emotional chaos. I had to draw more into God and learn to focus on me and my health and leave my husband at the foot of Christ. Having the peace is a blessing for me and it breaks my heart when I hear about the nastiness going on in my husband's life. I actually have empathy for the other woman, I am going to guess that she had no idea the anger she was going to get when she got involved with another woman's husband.

Swan: Bluebird - I am going to head out for tonight, join us again on Sunday. Night

Bluebird: Swan, I just looked at the clock as well! Have a great evening. Talk to you again...

Swan: Bluebird - I understand, I am open to what God has for me. I don't understand many things about my husband, he is in a relationship with a woman he calls ugly names as a joke, he tells everyone that he is miserable every second of every day, he always hated traveling yet has taken a position at his job that keeps him traveling constantly and has said it is so he doesn't have to be with her. He had no trouble divorcing me when he first became unhappy with our marriage, yet he stays in a marriage with someone he says he is miserable with, that he hates, etc. Just don't get it, but also when I hear these things it shows me that he is still in the middle of the insanity and given the peace I have, I want no part of his insanity.

Bluebird: Swan, I am glad you are staying away while he is in this state. I have thought the same as well, that if he is so unhappy then OW can be the one to witness all the insanity. I am just at peace finally as well. Like you I don't understand! I think the biggest part of my growth and healing came from stopping to try to figure his MLC out. I finally put the focus on myself for awhile and beautiful things are happening I don't mind being alone, there is so much I like about it! No more snoring! LOL LOL. On a serious note, I still would like to be loved as I am by my spouse.

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