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April 03, 2018 / Tuesday

Bluebird: Swan- Hmmm, each one is so different, although the main script seems the same. Mine told me he takes 90 % of responsibility for everything wrong in our marriage. He still says he loves God and still believes Christ died for him. When he first left, he would compare himself to David. A man that sinned greatly; a man after God's own heart. But he doesn't actually do anything about it.

Swan: Bluebird - my husband was going to church for awhile with the other woman, she calls herself an extremely godly woman and even tells people that God brought her and my husband together. She was married to her second husband when they hooked up.

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April 03, 2018 / Tuesday

Hannah: For ye are all the children of God by faith in Jesus Christ. Galatians 3:26

Swan: Hello everyone

Hannah: Good evening

Bluebird: Hello and good evening

Swan: Hi Bluebird - how are you tonight?

Bluebird: Hi? Swan, I am doing well. How are you

Swan: Bluebird - I am doing good. Anymore contact from your husband?

Bluebird: That's good to hear. No, he has not contacted me again.

Bluebird: Last week, when Bill was on, the conversation went in a way different direction than I thought! I didn't ask any of the questions I originally wanted, and I have forgotten what they were!

Swan: Bluebird - I understand how confusing it can be when they reach out to us. When my husband moved in with the other woman she issued a zero contact order between him and myself. At first he told her that wasn't going to happen, but as soon as we finished getting out house ready to sell and we signed the papers, he became more distant. Once his divorce was final, he gave into her and we haven't had contact. Then one night out of the blue he called me, we talked for over three hours, he never really said what prompted his call other than he had a dream and needed to know I was ok. The call ended quickly too, I heard a woman's voice in the background and I could tell he had hidden his phone because it became muffled. I couldn't tell what they were saying but the voices were angry and loud, when he got back on the phone, he just said he had to go and said he would talk to me again soon. Guess whatever was going on between them, they fixed because he hasn't call again.

Swan: Bluebird - When I first came here and would come in with Jim, I used to type out my questions before hand, that way I wouldn't forget, plus I could just cut and paste them and it gave me more time to read his responses.

Bluebird: That's a great idea for questions!

Swan: Bluebird - As far as I know Bill will be in chat tomorrow night, he usually lets me know if he isn't able to be and that is usually only when he is traveling and isn't able to connect with the site.

Bluebird: How long has it been since your husband originally called?

Bluebird: Swan, My husband makes it sound like OW gives him all the space he wants and doesn’t interfere with his choices. So he makes it sound anyway.

Swan: Bluebird - It has been a couple years, he asks the kids about me, but doesn't call or talk to me (our children are grown). I think it makes his life easier because when he did try the other woman found out and it was a battle for him. She is so insecure that her demands are extended to our children, heck once she even yelled at our then six year old grandson because he answered a question my husband asked him by saying I had given him the item they were talking about.

Bluebird: Hannah, Hello

Bluebird: Swan, they sure are strange creatures, aren't they? At first I was talking about our MLC, but then thought it pertains to OW too.

Swan: Bluebird - My husband used to do that as well, we have mutual friends and a few of them commented to my husband that he would have never allowed anyone to drag him around by his tail like he does now and he usually came back with similar comments about he is the one in control, but they all say he isn't in control of anything, which is really sad, he was a Marine Corps officer and commanded several people, he was considered one of the best Marine's in his field, now the people who knew him then say he is nothing more than a shell, the Marine is dead.

Bluebird: I wonder if they just 'check in' with us to see if we are still there, without any other thoughts. My husband said that he has really wanted me to move on.

Swan: Bluebird - Often the MLC does pertain to the other person as well, I don't know the other woman other than what people say, but from comments made, she does seem to be dealing with MLC very much.

Bluebird: Swan, that is very sad about your husband. Mine mentioned that he drinks every night to numb the pain. It grieves me very much to think about that. I wonder why they can't just come back. Is part of it pride?

Swan: Bluebird - My husband once told his brother that he will never be able to be happy until I move on, that he believes that I am refusing to move on to punish him. His brother says he told him that he doesn't believe that is the case at all, that I am actually content and have peace, that just because I haven't thrown myself at other men, doesn't have anything to do with my husband, but my relationship with God. Don't know what else they said, I reminded my brother in law that my husband wouldn't like him telling me what they talked about, so we changed the topic.

Hannah: goodnight

Swan: Bluebird - mine drinks as well, every night as soon as he gets home until he goes to bed very late. I think part of it is pride, a lot of it is guilt and some is self defense, after all they spent much excusing their choices by blaming us. Friends have said they have told my husband that he needs to accept responsibility for his own choices and stop blaming me. But I am also told that he blames the other woman now for anything unfavorable that goes on in his life.

Bluebird: Swan- Hmmm, each one is so different, although the main script seems the same. Mine told me he takes 90 % of responsibility for everything wrong in our marriage. He still says he loves God and still believes Christ died for him. When he first left, he would compare himself to David. A man that sinned greatly; a man after God's own heart. But he doesn't actually do anything about it.

Swan: Bluebird - mine will not say he still loves me, what he has said to me, our children and others (when the other woman isn't in ear shot) is that he knows I still love and care about him very much and he does too. Once our daughter commented about his loving himself so much, to which he told her, "you know what I mean, I feel the same". He just won't say it, but hints to still loving me.

Swan: Bluebird - my husband was going to church for awhile with the other woman, she calls herself an extremely godly woman and even tells people that God brought her and my husband together. She was married to her second husband when they hooked up.

Bluebird: Swan-I think my H and OW thought the same thing. They haven't been to church as far as I know. I don't understand how they can say they love God and His Word, but totally ignore scriptures about marriage and divorce. I will see him next week; although it's not a social call. We have an issue with one of our kids that we will both are there for support. I am wondering if he will want to talk again.

Swan: Bluebird - even though it is a serious issue, just try to keep any conversations with your husband light, upbeat and be a little sassy, the fun person he is missing out on.

Bluebird: Ahhh yes! I will have to remember that I will let him take the lead on conversation then.

Swan: Bluebird - I need to head out, I have to get dinner ready. Join us again tomorrow night with Bill, remember that chat starts an hour earlier

Bluebird: Swan, it looks like it's letting late! I will sign off and maybe be here tomorrow.

Bluebird: Thank you! Have a nice night

Bluebird: Swan- Hmmm, each one is so different, although the main script seems the same. Mine told me he takes 90 % of responsibility for everything wrong in our marriage. He still says he loves God and still believes Christ died for him. When he first left, he would compare himself to David. A man that sinned greatly; a man after God's own heart. But he doesn't actually do anything about it.

Swan: Bluebird - my husband was going to church for awhile with the other woman, she calls herself an extremely godly woman and even tells people that God brought her and my husband together. She was married to her second husband when they hooked up.

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