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September 26, 2017 / Tuesday

Kmkrn: Swan - You are still the responsible one!

Swan: KmKrn - But I don't want to be anymore, not at work, not at home, not at anything! I seriously have to find how to slow my pace at work, I find myself taking on way too much, I just cannot seem to not jump in and get things that need to be done taken care of. There are a couple others that in my opinion are lazy, it isn't that they cannot do it, they just don't and even though I have tried to NOT take care of it, I just cannot leave things undone. I know me and I can snap into unpleasant in a hurry, that isn't a good thing for others or myself, so unfortunately one of my things to keep from snapping is to just do it myself. You wouldn't believe some of the conversations I have with myself and a few times I talk myself down and will try to ignore the needed task, but most often I just do it, I honesty get more peace if it is done than not.

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September 26, 2017 / Tuesday

Kmkrn: Welcome all to chat.

Kmkrn: ALL - My H and I celebrated our 34th wedding anniversary 2 days ago. It's a miracle that we made it and a blessing to have suffered MLC to be able to appreciate each other better now.

Swan: Hi everyone

Kmkrn: Swan - Just me.

Swan: KmKrn - Happy anniversary

Kmkrn: Swan - Thanks!

Kmkrn: Swan - How was your week?

Swan: KmKrn - October would be our 40th anniversary, I sometimes wonder if dates like birthdays, anniversaries, etc. cross his mind.

Kmkrn: Swan - I'm sure they do. I think God has a way of dropping hints and reminders too.

Swan: KmKrn - my week has been going good.

Kmkrn: Swan - You don't have to stay. I've got this. You probably have better things to do.

Kmkrn: Swan - Although this is my last chat until November I suppose, unless the schedule changes.

Swan: KmKrn - the last time I spoke with my husband he called me when I was living in Missouri, he had had a dream where I was in trouble and he couldn't stop worrying about me so he called our daughter, she told him I was fine, but later that night he called her back and asked her to see if I would allow him to call me, he needed to hear from me that I was ok. We talked for almost two hours, he quickly needed to get off the phone, I heard a woman's voice in the background so I assume the other woman came home and I haven't heard anything from him since.

Kmkrn: Swan - Wow! That's cool that you were "heavy on his mind." I hope you still are!

Swan: KmKrn - I will be posting the next schedule this week, I don't think it has changed so yeah November most likely

Kmkrn: Swan - A week or two ago I went to see the movie "The Heart of Man." It was a one night only showing. Very interesting. I saw it alone. I'm not sure if my H would watch it or not. Have you heard of it?

Swan: KmKrn - I don't know, two years back on October 1st he just showed up at my son's house, they were in the garage talking when I came home from work, I didn't know they were in there and when I got home I walked into the garage to the washer, had to pass him and he was talking - didn't even skip a beat in what he was saying, nor did he acknowledge me. I just put my uniform in the wash and went into my bedroom.

Swan: KmKrn - I haven't heard of that movie.

Swan: Hi Buttons

buttons: Hey ladies

Kmkrn: Swan - That's strange (that he wouldn't acknowledge you). Google the movie. It's almost more of a documentary than a movie. Different and very well done.

buttons: Wow on your H calling Swan, God sure can touch their minds and hearts

Swan: KmKrn - I will look it up, thanks

buttons: the movie sounds interesting KmKrn

Kmkrn: buttons - How's school going?

buttons: KmKrn pretty good my heart is hurting for a few, I may have finally got an EA for my one student although she technically is supposed to support two of them the one needs pretty much complete support right now having said that this morning he had an amazing morning! Things slid in the afternoon

Kmkrn: ALL - It's a twist on the Prodigal Son. The main character never speaks a word, but other people are interjected with their stories of being led astray.

Swan: KmKrn - My husband was always an avoider, as a Marine he would swing from aggressor to avoider, rarely much in the middle especially once MLC started. I cannot even begin to say how much stuff I dealt with in our marriage that he preferred to avoid, if he couldn't take it on full charge, it became my responsibility.

buttons: KmKrn one of my students from last year, who'd also been in my room briefly the year before, has not shown up to Gr. 1 yet and the school can't reach anyone (not sure if they even managed to reach dad). He is such a sweet kid and my heart is aching for him right now. He would benefit SO much from being in school regularly

Kmkrn: Swan - You are still the responsible one!

Kmkrn: buttons - I know what you mean. The parents are more of a problem. If you just had kids to teach, life would be easier.

buttons: KmKrn I have one this year that was in foster care and is now with family members, he is developmentally delayed and he is SO sweet. Another of my students can be so kind and caring and yet SO hurtful (dangerously) at other times- Mom wrote that she has struggled with mental health since childhood so there are good chunks and bad chunks

Kmkrn: buttons - It is amazing to me how many children have severe mental issues at such a young age--I've seen that get worse rather than better.

buttons: KmKrn My heart is hurting for these little ones in this case it's the mom who has struggled with it for her whole life however the child is being affected as a result.

buttons: KmKrn yes, I too believe it has gotten worse just as them developing sooner, etc...

Swan: KmKrn - But I don't want to be anymore, not at work, not at home, not at anything! I seriously have to find how to slow my pace at work, I find myself taking on way too much, I just cannot seem to not jump in and get things that need to be done taken care of. There are a couple others that in my opinion are lazy, it isn't that they cannot do it, they just don't and even though I have tried to NOT take care of it, I just cannot leave things undone. I know me and I can snap into unpleasant in a hurry, that isn't a good thing for others or myself, so unfortunately one of my things to keep from snapping is to just do it myself. You wouldn't believe some of the conversations I have with myself and a few times I talk myself down and will try to ignore the needed task, but most often I just do it, I honesty get more peace if it is done than not.

buttons: Ladies can you Please pray for my one EA (educational assistant) as she is taking a leave for at least a month her daughter had a preemie and this little one is struggling, something is going on with her heart at the moment

Kmkrn: buttons - Yes, I sometimes think people shouldn't be allowed to be parents until they "pass a test" or something. It's scary!

buttons: Swan that sounds so familiar!!! I too tend to get like that!

Swan: buttons - yes I will pray for her

Kmkrn: buttons - I was a nurse in the NICU with preemies. Heart issues are fairly common and can usually be corrected. But prayers are always good.

buttons: KmKrn there are 2 families who have had or are going to have a baby and really they should not they both have over 3 children, a blend of 2 families in one case where the children of the one are not treated nearly as kindly, then there will be 2 they had together.

Kmkrn: buttons - I know what you mean it just makes a bigger mess!

Kmkrn: Swan - I would like to hear you have a conversation with yourself! I need to do that more often!

buttons: KmKrn I understand that it would not be uncommon and that preemies also tend to have health issues, it just seems to be a little more than expected and it is weighing heavy on my EA, especially since she is so caring and things are not working quite like they should in the class and she feels she's letting her student down in order to support the other 2 who need it and aren't getting it as much or consistently as they need.

buttons: All hehehe. I talk to myself regularly however I am not so good at talking myself down; rather I just work myself up more

Kmkrn: buttons - Will you have help while she is gone?

buttons: KmKrn yes I will, the challenge is always the quality of the support

Kmkrn: buttons - Well said!

buttons: Kmkrn as with all people/workers no two are alike and not all have a solid ability/skill in what they are able to do

Swan: buttons - my father had four children (three different wives) and my mother had two children (two different husbands), my father didn't have any children with his last wife, my mother had my younger sister with her second husband. My husband's parents had seven children. When we got married we talked about children and agreed that we would only have two that was how many we felt we could handle and afford. We watched other friends who have several children struggle financially and being military often with wife raised the kids alone at times and it caused so many issues. We never regretted only having two and a year after our son was born my husband got snipped to make sure we didn't have any oops children.

buttons: Kmkrn one who was placed in my room at the start of the year was pretty much a child herself and needed so much hand holding she had limited problem solving skills and with the little ASD boy she was working with it just did not work!!! Thankfully the principal listened and moved her to a spot where things need less flexibility and have more structure

buttons: Swan yes, it's the oops children that are tough in the case of the one family this is the case with the last 2 children and I believe it's true of the other family as well! There are many people who are capable of caring for a larger family while others just don't seem to understand that even though the government gives them money (those on income assistance) there are challenges the more you have especially when your parenting skills are a little weak

Kmkrn: ALL - I'm cleaning out my purse - yuck! I do it when I can't find anything because it's such a mess!

buttons: Kmkrn Ugh. I have not carried a purse really ever. I am a wallet on a string person

Swan: buttons - I look back at my husband's childhood and can now understand how MLC took hold of him and actually many of his other siblings. My mother in law stayed pregnant for years, the first four born within a year of one another, then she took a seven year break and then had three more close in age. My father in law worked two sometimes three jobs to support the family (she never worked outside the home). They really didn't have a father model around and my mother in law had some deep mental issues coupled with control issues which affected all of the kids in one way or another.

Kmkrn: buttons - smart! And you won't have back problems either!

buttons: Kmkrn nope

Swan: I have a small purse, it holds a small wallet, and a note pad, ink pen and my keys, nothing else will fit.

buttons: Swan yes, that's what hurts my heart with these little ones knows that they could end up in MLC later in life and could hurt so many others it is so sad to see it in action and all you can do is your best to touch the hearts and minds of the children affected

Kmkrn: ALL - Mine appears to hold everything "but the kitchen sink!"

buttons: Swan we fail to recognize how much what we do can affect our children. I feel for our kids and what they went through it's all retrospect

Swan: KmKrn - my daughter in law has two bags like that and she cannot find anything some days!

Kmkrn: ALL - I would have done well on the "Let's Make a Deal" show where Monty Hall asks for a random item at the end of the show I would probably have it!

buttons: Swan Mine barely holds my keys and depending on what I manage to find it doesn't I have gotten smart and been finding one that at least holds my phone with H losing my other car key I am keeping a close eye on the one last set so wish I had a wallet that held them

buttons: Kmkrn LOL!!! Who knows if you'll find it in there one day! Our D's seems to be like that too!!!

Kmkrn: ALL - As a nurse and a former girl scout I am always prepared!

Swan: buttons - my in laws did the best they knew how and my father in law believed he was doing what was right for his family, providing for them. My mother in law didn't have a mother (she died in child birth with the child after my mother in law) and he father was a drinker, a nasty man when he was drunk, so in her own way she did what she thought was right, there was never any drinking allowed in their home. They didn't know any better and sadly had adverse results on their children and many of the grandchildren, I imagine great grandchildren as well.

buttons: Kmkrn LOL that show is fun to watch and to see what people manage to pull out! Have you seen "Whose Line is it Anyway"? Sometimes they use people's purses as props and pull things out guess yours would give them lots of potential props

buttons: Kmkrn My backpack on wheels was like that when I went to University as a parent I was not always prepared

Swan: buttons - I forgot the cell phone, that fits in too, but seriously not anything more, it is tiny

buttons: Swan tiny is good

Kmkrn: buttons - Yes, that show is funny! They have such a natural talent to be able to do that!

buttons: Swan yes, we all do the best we can with what we've learned from our parents and grandparents.

buttons: Kmkrn they sure do

Kmkrn: ALL - I'm pulling out first aid kit, hand sanitizer, tissues, gum, Advil & Advil PM, Claritin, protein bars, wallet, pens, rosary beads, lipstick, brush, lotion, etc. It's a whole drug store in there!

buttons: Kmkrn LOL our daughter said she had a good number of those things in her's too add deodorant too

Kmkrn: buttons - good thinking!

buttons: Kmkrn aren't you trying to drop some from it, not add to it?

Kmkrn: buttons - oh yeah! I hope I don't need a bigger purse!?!

buttons: Kmkrn hehehe then you would need a back brace too

Kmkrn: buttons - Found my back scratcher wouldn't leave home without it! But I will probably need the back brace too!

buttons: Kmkrn hehehe

buttons: Well ladies. Our D is off at 8 and I thought I'd surprise her but first a quick visit to dog park with our furry one. Hugs and prayers have a wonderful rest of the week!!!

Kmkrn: ALL - Thanks for being here with me it sure would be lonely without you! God bless you all and have a great week!

Swan: buttons - it does affect generations! When I moved back to California to my son's house it was initially to help him with my grandson because he and my daughter in law were talking divorce. There was a man that was flattering her and she didn't cross the line but came close. My son made it clear that she was moving out and their son was not going with her, not sure how a court would have ruled on that, but she wasn't going to challenge him at first. After I got here, I sat down with my son and we talked about what was really going on (I didn't know the details until I got here) and I was able to give a different outlook on the situation because of what I had gone through with his father. I went out to dinner with my daughter in law and we talked as well. Then all three of us spoke and they love each other so much, they were both at fault and I was able to help them see their own part, they agreed to counseling and are now closer than ever and I wonder if my experience was part of the path needed to help them not repeat our mistakes.

buttons: Kmkrn I am trying to make sure I am here on Tuesdays. H is working nights right now and it's the one day where he's not home during chat (well aside from Wed)

buttons: Kmkrn you too

Swan: Ladies thanks for coming in tonight, I am going to head out as well. Have a great week

buttons: Swan yes; I believe we can help as a result of our experiences

buttons: Swan I know that I was able to do that with families at my old school and hope I can in a way now too with the children, with the parents if they need an ear or whatever God has in mind. I am glad you were able to help your Son and DIL figure things out

buttons: Night ladies!!!

Swan: buttons - if I hadn't gone through what I did, to be honest my first reaction would have been for him to follow through with his plans, I don't know if I would have been as forgiving.

buttons: Swan no, many would not be I know many have said to me, I would never do that however until you are in that situation you really don't know what you will do!

buttons: Night swan

Kmkrn: Swan - You are still the responsible one!

Swan: KmKrn - But I don't want to be anymore, not at work, not at home, not at anything! I seriously have to find how to slow my pace at work, I find myself taking on way too much, I just cannot seem to not jump in and get things that need to be done taken care of. There are a couple others that in my opinion are lazy, it isn't that they cannot do it, they just don't and even though I have tried to NOT take care of it, I just cannot leave things undone. I know me and I can snap into unpleasant in a hurry, that isn't a good thing for others or myself, so unfortunately one of my things to keep from snapping is to just do it myself. You wouldn't believe some of the conversations I have with myself and a few times I talk myself down and will try to ignore the needed task, but most often I just do it, I honesty get more peace if it is done than not.

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