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August 20, 2017 / Sunday

 

Bluesky: Swan, I didn't know that you had a police officer in your scenario too. I haven't heard this story before. Wow. So he believed what she was saying despite know you all his life?

 

Swan: Bluesky - she was the one that he had gone to elementary school with, she had lived down the street from his parents home. We had been married 28 years, complacency had set it and she was that fresh new exciting relationship that had overtones of childhood together. Plus she was a police officer and she could prove I have been threatening her (I wasn't, only knew her first name at this point). He wanted to believe the thrill was real and believed her lies, by the time they broke up he was already on line meeting other women and told me that he could never trust me again because of what I had done. It was his excuse to blame me for his choices, he admitted years later that he was a fool for believing the first other woman, but is also convinced it is too late; he has to live with the mess he has made.

 

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August 20, 2017 / Sunday

 

Swan: Hello everyone, welcome to Sunday evening chat.

 

Swan: Hi Brin - how was your week?

 

Brin: Hi Swan, week was good, thanks. However, I might have overdone things a bit this weekend as I'm feeling a bit under the weather. How was your week?

 

Swan: Brin - my week was pretty good as well. Oh, I know when I overdo things I get feeling under the weather as well, as I get older my system just doesn't do as well when I try to get that "just one more thing" done.

 

Brin: Swan, Yes, and I stayed up last night doing photos for a friend. It was a bad idea but I didn't feel like sleeping and I wanted to get it out of the way.

 

Brin: Swan, is work winding down a bit with the school holidays ending?

 

Swan: Brin - I have no clue what has been going on with me the past couple weeks, I wake up between 2:00 and 3:00 am and cannot get back to sleep, so I typically get up and either read or check email for 20 or so minutes then I am able to go back to sleep.

 

Brin: Swan - could it be hormone-related?

 

Swan: Brin - work did wind down because most kids are back in school, but Labor day is coming up so interest is picking up again, then it will slow down until October when most of the Halloween attractions begin, then we will get a break until mid December. It isn't too bad during the school year, not as much travel into the area so sales aren't as hectic as summer.

 

Swan: Brin - Don't know if it continues, I will get over to the base and get it checked out, I hadn't thought of it being hormone related, just that I was having some strange sleep issues.

 

Brin: Swan - when it's quiet, do they cut back your hours?

 

Brin: Hi Bluesky - good to see you too. How are you? I love your praises, btw.

 

Swan: Brin - right now I am only working 20ish hours per week, that could increase, but she won't really cut me below those hours.

 

Swan: Hi Bluesky

 

Brin: Hi Cricket - how are you?

 

Brin: Swan - good to hear that they won't cut your hours

 

Swan: Hello Cricket - how was the event?

 

Cricket: Good evening all.

 

Bluesky: Hi Ladies, Nice to see you all. Brin thanks. Little, by little I guess. How are you feeling?

 

Cricket: Brin - I'm good. I worked all weekend at an even in my community and had a going away party last night so I'm exhausted but good.

 

Swan: Brin - Well because the ticket sales are not predictable, they give some way for our hours, the cuts that Trump made caused some reductions, but once the hiring freeze was lifted, it has been somewhat level.

 

Brin: Bluesky Thanks - I was feeling better but today I'm feeling worse. I might have overdone things this weekend - staying up and also physically so I have swelling again and feeling warm.

 

Brin: Cricket - wow, it has been a busy weekend for you. I loved that photo of you cooking breakfast the other day at an event!

 

Bluesky: Brin, so sorry to hear. Please take it easy.

 

Brin: Thanks Bluesky. Yes, I will take it easy

 

Bluesky: What happened to the new person at the beginning of chat?

 

Brin: Bluesky, I think they logged in before chat room started.

 

Bluesky: Brin, oh that's too bad. I hope she comes back.

 

Swan: bluesky - don't know they were gone when I got here a few minutes before chat was to begin. Unfortunately this program doesn't have the auto open and close that the old one had, so once I create a room, it can be accessed. I might begin putting the hours of chat in the welcome, so people will at least be informed when the chat is.

 

Cricket: Brin - It has been a VERY busy weekend. I actually got home tonight at 4:30 my time and tried to lie down for a 20 minute nap before chat but got a phone call that delayed me coming to chat.

 

Swan: Bluesky - I will look them up in registration and send an email about times.

 

Swan: Bluesky - actually I just checked and they came into the room yesterday late in the evening.

 

Brin: Cricket - so good of you to come to chat. We would understand if you took a break, especially when you're not even scheduled for chat today.

 

Bluesky: Swan, oh wow, that is too bad about this software.

 

Swan: Bluesky - I miss some of the old features of chat, but this one runs much better, so... Typically I wait until shortly before chat to create a room unless I am concerned that I might not be back in time and I knew I was going to be out most of the day today, so I created it last night before I headed to bed.

 

Bluesky: Swan, I guess we can't have it all. lol

 

Cricket: Brin - Thanks, I got kicked up a moment ago but got back in. Thanks for covering tonight for Beth.

 

Brin: Cricket - no problem. You all covered for me often enough.

 

Cricket: Swan - The event went very well. I had a goodbye BBQ after the event last night that went until about midnight so I was dragging today. It was a 2 day event so I was back there today too after church.

 

Swan: Ladies - Last night my grandson and I went to church, his other grandmother joined us and brought a friend that I had known when I lived here last time. This lady is the sweetest; she loves God so much and was an inspiration to me back then. I learned that her husband is in rehab, his third time the past year; he continues to relapse after about 90 days out of the facility. And then I learned that her husband has been spending time with prostitutes, yes actually picking them up and paying for their time. She is so broken over it, we are going to get together for lunch, she knows about my husband, so maybe I will be of some help or at least comfort for her.

 

Bluesky: Swan, all, I was reading a recent archive the other day of you and Kmkrn talking about the h being back but didn't share a thing of his time away. Both of you gals agreed it was best. I think this would drive me crazy. How can you trust without communication?

 

Cricket: Swan - We had K-9 Demo again today (we had one yesterday too) and there was a communication gap so the event coordinator didn't have the K-9 Demo on the schedule and didn't have a PA in place. I got a call this morning that they were there and nothing set up so I did some calling and scrambling but was able to get it set up. It went well and I got a PA out there part way through so our K-9 Officer's voice was strained yelling at first but it was still good.

 

Cricket: Brin - It's all about give and take. Thanks thought.

 

Brin: Swan - that's so heartbreaking about the lady's husband's actions. I hope you and her are able to connect well.

 

Bluesky: Swan, how sad for this lady friend. I know you will be there for her.

 

Swan: Bluesky - both of our husband's have been gone for so long, I don't know that I really want details of what he has been doing, I think it would just add salt to the wounds, at least for me. Trust would have to be slow building, but even if I cannot fully trust my husband, I can trust God and when God brings my husband home, I will leave it to Him. Mistrust was one of my husband's complaints and in many ways it was justified, the Marine Corps trained me well to always look for the motive in people and I carried that into our marriage, so I believe that is one of those areas I will need to show growth. Now I am not saying to blindly agree with anything he says, but I will give him the benefit of the doubt until he gives me solid cause not to.

 

Brin: Cricket - that sounds like a lot of work to get all that arranged so last minute like that!

 

Swan: Ladies - her husband had been a Marine, so we also have that in common and it really does help when talking about issues to do so with someone that understands the bonds of military life.

 

Bluesky: Swan, will they feel 'let off the hook"?

 

Bluesky: Swan, I am not saying I want to know about their life either, just seems to they get to eat the cake, you know?

 

Cricket: Brin - It was, I'm posting some videos and pix.

 

Swan: Bluesky - I don't think so, he exhibits enough guilt that I don't really think he will need to have me say anything about it. It is kind of like with boundaries, they are not a punishment but needed to guard ourselves, there will be boundaries established, but I don't want him to feel as if his bad choices and actions are being held over his head, it is no fun living waiting for the other shoe to drop.

 

Bluesky: Swan, I suppose that is true. If he were to spill the beans, what would you do?

 

Swan: bluesky - oh no, there is no cake eating, he will have to leave that cake behind when he reconciles a life with me! If he needed to talk and it was all on him, I would listen. I did that before and it ripped my heart apart, but I stayed silent and let him talk, I didn't ask questions and when he asked if I had any I told him probably but I wasn't ready to express them, that my head was spinning too much to put thoughts together.

 

Bluesky: Swan, I suppose it would be a bit overwhelming. You have had a talk once already?

 

Brin: Cricket - I saw some of the pictures and the K-9 video. Really cool how the dog can take down the suspect

 

Bluesky: Cricket, I have been watching Live PD the last few weeks. And I adore watching the K9s.

 

Swan: Bluesky - when I found out about the first other woman. We actually started bonding again and he told me that he expected me to rip him apart; he was shocked that I was willing to listen and not judge him. The first other woman must have sensed our bonding because she pulled out the lies with so called proof she got through her being a police officer that it drew him back to her to protect her and when they broke up a few weeks later, he had been in contact with the second other woman and she became his new fantasy. He didn't take his time, but then again she didn't allow that either, within weeks of meeting they were living together and it was only a few months (had to wait for both of them to get divorced) and they were married.

 

Bluesky: Swan, I didn't know that you had a police officer in your scenario too. I haven't heard this story before. Wow. So he believed what she was saying despite know you all his life?

 

Brin: Swan, I didn't realize that the woman he's with now is the second OW.

 

Cricket: Bluesky - Our K-9 is really good and his partner Sergeant is so dedicated. We had some great demonstrations this weekend.

 

Bluesky: Cricket, do you only have one K9?

 

Cricket: Brin - It was stressful getting the call right after church that there was a communication gap. We had three K-9 officers who came out today on their day off with their K-9s to do their demonstration and to be told the Coordinator didn't have them scheduled! We only have one K-9 at this time but another one wants to move from another PD to ours as he sees the community support and what a great PD we have.

 

Brin: Cricket - so the other 2 K-9 officers are from a different PD?

 

Cricket: Brin - I took some videos today but an officer stepped in front of my camera at a critical point so I hope to get another person's video to add because they did a great job.

 

Brin: Cricket - how frustrating that someone stepped in front of your camera, but cool that someone else has also captured it on video.

 

Swan: Bluesky - she was the one that he had gone to elementary school with, she had lived down the street from his parents house. We had been married 28 years, complacency had set it and she was that fresh new exciting relationship that had overtones of childhood together. Plus she was a police officer and she could prove I have been threatening her (I wasn't, only knew her first name at this point). He wanted to believe the thrill was real and believed her lies, by the time they broke up he was already on line meeting other women and told me that he could never trust me again because of what I had done. It was his excuse to blame me for his choices, he admitted years later that he was a fool for believing the first other woman, but is also convinced it is too late; he has to live with the mess he has made.

 

Swan: Brin - Yeah, he met the one he is with now on one of the dating sites you see advertised on television or in his case that pops up on you computer ads.

 

Brin: Swan - what a mess! I hope he gets his act together soon enough for his own sake.

 

Bluesky: Swan, I guess he wanted to believe you did those things. So it was an easy escape.

 

Swan: Brin - me too, I would not want to live with the guilt he seems to be living with and I am going to say it is most likely not good for his heart wither

 

Bluesky: Swan, Brin that is what gets me, how long they live with the guilt.

 

Brin: Swan - I agree with you - sin can't be good for your health. Ladies, I'm heading out. Going to try to feel better before the morning.

 

Swan: Bluesky - I remember asking him if really thought I was stupid enough to threaten a police officer. He didn't answer but still chose to believe her

 

Bluesky: Brin, best wishes.

 

Swan: Night Brin

 

Brin: Bluesky - Yes, they are so stubborn. My ex-H seems to be so happy but I doubt he is. They keep going on cruises - the first one he ever did was with me and I guess he may be trying to re-live the nice cruise experience.

 

Bluesky: Swan, easy out. He had his mind made up already.

 

Swan: Bluesky - a lot of the try to self medicate, I hear the Jack Daniels can help with that!

 

Bluesky: Swan, my d has called her dad for his drinking and calling him a functional drunk. This was a few years ago. He was so offended by it.

 

Cricket: Swan - So sad how these OW can manipulate our H's. As you know, my H's 1st OW was able to convince him I did things that I never did but she was determined to put a wedge to keep my H from reconciling with me and he believed her lies.

 

Bluesky: Cricket, Swan, just goes to show how weak they are for believing them.

 

Swan: Bluesky - if you ask my husband he doesn't drink that much, yet there are always bottles of wine at his house when the kids visit or he will bring some with him when he visits them and goes through at least one bottle a night. But according to him wine isn't really drinking! He has given up the hard stuff, but still drinks

 

Cricket: Bluesky/Swan - I think they want to believe these OW as they can't face the truth without suffering from guilt.

 

Bluesky: oh the lies they tell themselves.

 

Bluesky: Good talking to you ladies tonight. Have a good one.

 

Swan: Cricket/Bluesky - I can see that my husband would have a hard time accepting that she had lied, how could have allowed her to destroy his family and her own, so in his mind he needs to believe he was being the knight in shining armor and not the cause of what happened

 

Swan: Night Bluesky

 

Cricket: Swan - Exactly! They don't want to see the truth or they have to accept their weaknesses.

 

Bluesky: Swan, shameful.

 

Swan: Ladies - I am going to head out, it is dinner time here. Have a wonderful week and remember there is chat on Tuesday and Wednesday this week.

 

Cricket: Night all.

 

 

 

Bluesky: Swan, I didn't know that you had a police officer in your scenario too. I haven't heard this story before. Wow. So he believed what she was saying despite know you all his life?

 

Swan: Bluesky - she was the one that he had gone to elementary school with, she had lived down the street from his parents home. We had been married 28 years, complacency had set it and she was that fresh new exciting relationship that had overtones of childhood together. Plus she was a police officer and she could prove I have been threatening her (I wasn't, only knew her first name at this point). He wanted to believe the thrill was real and believed her lies, by the time they broke up he was already on line meeting other women and told me that he could never trust me again because of what I had done. It was his excuse to blame me for his choices, he admitted years later that he was a fool for believing the first other woman, but is also convinced it is too late; he has to live with the mess he has made.

 

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