Beth: Bluesky I have often wondered if my H was happy or now. Did he ever think about coming home. Things do go through your mind.
Bluesky: Beth, I am sure that is difficult to deal with. I pray someday you will have your answers.
Swan: buttons - I spent 28 years of marriage and never snooped in any of his stuff and that was when he was active duty and his job often required him to just not come home and he couldn't tell me where he would be or what he was doing. If he would be gone more than 48 hours I would get a phone call and told who my point of contact would be. After a few years we picked a message and I would call his assistant, who I would ask the question and he would give me the selected answer, it didn't give me details but let me know that he was away on a mission. Sometimes the upper command was lack on calling me with my point of contact information. I always felt it was because they considered me a self provider and knew if I needed anything I couldn't handle I would either call the platoon or commander.
buttons: swan I too never snooped and even in the chaos I have only done it a few times and I hated that I did
buttons: ladies we are at 10 or 11 days until he returns and this always seems to be the time were we have even less contact
Kmkrn: buttons - That's when you have more contact with Jesus to hold onto for now until he returns.
Beth: Hopinginhim sometimes I think if my H had been abusive in any way never gave me money, never had relationship with the children, plain mean I would not fund it so hard. Yesterday I was terrible. I cried and prayed so much I did not know what to do.
HopinginHim1: Beth - I am so sorry. I wish I could take your pain away. Remember that the Lord is aware of every tear and even though we cannot always know or understand why, this is all for a purpose to draw us closer to Him. Lean in to Him and let Him begin to soothe your tender heart. Know I am praying.
Hannah: Swan my h is fine to everybody else. Sometimes I feel so sad and robbed of so much but then I think of my friends in this group and a few girl friends I have here and I am not alone in my lifestyle. I see my sister and her husband enjoying traveling together (she is still working but gets six weeks’ vacation a year and her husband is a retired police officer). I must admit I get jealous. My husband does come to some of my grandson's hockey games during the winter.
Swan: Hannah - I am not alone either, but lonely does creep in sometimes when I am either around couples or when those special holidays are coming up. My husband always made Christmas, my birthday and Valentine's Day special. The kids do things for my birthday and we still celebrate Christmas as we always did, but with him missing it can make me feel a little sad at times.
dumbfounded2: Beth- My H has been very repentant and treats me better than he did the first 20 years of our marriage. He was gone for almost 6 years and went down some dark roads but has come out the other side a changed man.
Beth: dumbfounded2 I don’t seem to be getting any answers. I find it confusing. Apparently H and ow were broke up and son wanted him to move in with them. H said he did not want to impose on anybody so stayed where he was. It seems they got back together. Ow in my H’s life was very controlling. My H was not the same man I married.
Swan: Little Magpie - so what are you going to commit to doing that makes you happy?
Little Magpie: Swan - IDk. It's tough with yd gone and she is the only one who I hang out with
dumbfounded2: Swan- I also had given my H to God a short while before his accident. It helped me so much when he came home to continue placing my faith in God and letting him work on my H. Our story is truly the work of the Lord.
Swan: dumbfounded - sometimes I think the Lord prepares us through trials. Right now, I work with a man who is a bully in many ways he behaves and there was a time when I would have snapped off on him, but I have been able to deal with him in more productive ways and since he reminds me of the bully my husband has become, I figure it is good training for when I will have contact with my husband someday.
Swan: Cricket - I am praying over it and am considering just reminding this man how unsociable my husband was as a youth and that he has gotten even more so as a mature adult and then let him decide if he wants to risk the rejection or now. Sad thing is these two guys were best friends, and then they lost touch as we were in the Marine Corps and rarely made it to St. Louis. Anyway continuing to pray and will see from there. The guy is really sweet, always was and I just don't want to subject him to MLC spew without him being prepared, but then I don't want to be the one to prepare him because I don't want to engage in negative comments about my husband, kind of a catch 22 thing.
Cricket: Swan - Hey, someone who'd been a best friend and a Marine can handle some MLC spew and would figure out that your H is a miserable man who hates life and that's where the anger is coming. The Lord will take care of the details.
Swan: dani - I can understand how our spouses spin into MLC, one day all is one way and then you blink and life is passing fast.
dani2: Swan, yes you are right. I'm trying to change my ways this year so that my life is not revolving around work so much. It goes too fast!
buttons: swan that is exactly what is happening, there's something I've heard on the radio where they talked about how vast God's love and forgiveness is and how if GOD can give up His son to cover our sins then how can we not forgive and let go. Continuing to pray with you for your H and his healing
Swan: buttons - thanks, I appreciate the prayers. I just feel so badly that my husband feels that way, he was a strong self confident man from the time I met him until MLC hit. He was a great Marine and a role model for so many younger Marine's. We don't have contact and I only get limited information, maybe God is protecting me in that as well because sometimes not knowing is better, that way I don't worry about him so much.