Midlife Dimensions

www.MIDLIFE.com

Christmas Eve / Regular Session - 12/24/11

1:57 PM

dumbfounded2

To all - Hi everyone.  Hope you all are reminding yourselves of all your blessings even if your significant other is not around.  I do have a question.  What emotion or feeling keeps a spouse away from wife and family during holidays?  Even when H has recently reconnected and says he still loves me and has brought gifts by as early as 2 days ago.  I invited him to spend day with us and have dinner with our families (his and mine) He said he didn’t think they would understand and that he and I barely understand (think this is a good sign) What do yall think?

2:00 PM

buttons

dumbfounded2 they are so many emotions going through their heads at the moment and I think the holidays are a time when they want to be more careful about the messages they send, by being present it might mean more than just bringing by presents would mean

 

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Christmas Eve / Special Session - 12/24/11

7:47 PM

buttons

brin - he went to bed without even a good night, then I was frustrated and he said what, I'm not on my cell phone or the computer but you're still upset... I could have had all the presents wrapped yesterday but thought he'd like to see the kids ones so left them now I am left with more wrapping to do and I'm tired and frustrated too...  thanks brin, I can't believe it and then he tried to pass it off as something else.. I  know what I saw

7:50 PM

brin

buttons :47, Did you explain why you felt frustrated? Next time he makes the hand heart or do something romantic, don't say anything to him. Otherwise, he may be embarrassed and not do it again for fear of feeling ridiculed or teased. Men do not handle teasing well. It may have taken him courage to do the hand heart.

 

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Christmas Day / Extended Session - 12/25/11

6:46 PM

Chapman

Dani  Do you think it was good that I didn't initiate any communication with my H today?  It is always hard to know just what to do. The person that I am would like to wish him a Merry Christmas, but I don't want to push him further away so I decided to do nothing today.

6:48 PM

dani

Chapman, it is hard to know what is going on in their mind when they do not contact us.  I do know that with my h he desperately needed me to remind him that we were thinking of him, missing him, loving him.  It is always a risk to be hurt when we reach out in any way, but we do it with prayer and our eyes wide open that they may not respond.  We just reach out as God reached out to us.  Jim always says to keep it light, funny is good, not romantic, not mushy. Pray about this.

 

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New Year's Eve / Regular Session - 12/31/11

1:28 PM

Pualani

Swan @:25 Yes, they keep telling N6 they have no money because of her daddy and yet my H and OW bought themselves a 3D DS!!!

1:30 PM

Swan

Pualani - Dear, I honestly think he needs to see a solicitor about these types of statements to his children and behavior.  He pays child support; I am assuming decided by a court, plus your husband's income and her's, if she works, that isn't a valid excuse (of course children wouldn't understand this).

 

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New Year's Eve / Special Chat Session - 12/31/11

6:52 PM

Chapman

All My brother had something great that he shared with me... I was telling him how hard it was for me not to try to communicate with my H when he is in the tunnel.  I know I shouldn't initiate communication.  My brother told me to look at it through the filter of ... I am loving my H by NOT communicating.  That is a big help for me to think of it that way.  Not just that this is best, but it’s actually the most loving thing I can do when he is silent and isolated.

6:59 PM

dumbfounded2

Chapman -  Your brother is on to something...It is true that we have to "love" our H differently during this time.  Sometimes less of something is important.  They must find their own way and our input is not needed.  We just want to "fix" them and that is not our job!  God must work on them.  I like to think that God has more time to work on them when I mind my own business.

 

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Mother's Day 2016

Bluesky: all, my daughter called me early this morning which was nice but said she was mad at her dad again for not doing the dad thing he should doing. So it upsets me that nothing has changed.

Swan: Bluesky - Momma bear is going to come out when your child is hurting, especially at the hand of someone who should protect her like you would. When dealing with MLC dad's it is often more of a benefit for our children to not have any expectations of them. I know it is very hard for my children (who are adults), especially my son in regards to my grandson when it comes to my husband failing to do what he should, keep his word, etc. They have all got to the point of "whatever" and if my husband comes through fine, if not, they just shrug. It is so sad!

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Easter Sunday 2016

dumbfounded2: Kmkrn - Do you remember feeling that you were unsure what and when to say anything to your H? Sometimes I feel so bad for him, but I know that he would reject my compassion if I voiced it, so I remain silent but supportive

Kmkrn: dumbfounded2 - I had plenty of conversations in my "head" that were totally different from what came out of my "mouth." And if I had nothing nice to say--saying nothing was the better choice. It does take some practice, but it is possible!

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Valentine's Day 2016

Swan: Beth - I still pray for my husband, I think of him every day and I do love him, but to be honest I don't know if I could be with him again at this time. He is still an angry man from what others say, he throws childish fits, breaks things, he and the other woman have gone to blows (I am told she hits him first, but after awhile, he started hitting back) and I have so much peace in my life now, I just don't know if I would be able to deal with him in this angry state. Actually, I know I wouldn't be able to, I grew up in that type of home, my step father was a violent man and I was his go to target, I cannot, actually will not live that again, not even for my husband. I do have faith that when my husband submits to God's will, the anger will be gone, because God too knows I can't do that life.

Beth: swan I can understand and don't blame you for not wanting that type of life. Nobody wants that. I pray for my H too. But I saw a picture of him while ago and they were gone on holiday visiting her family who had a new baby. He has a dark complexion anyway but with the beard and the clothes he was dressed in he looked like a foreigner. Somebody saw a picture and said he looked like a homeless. He looks worn out and old.

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Chat Room Acronyms

Guests often use acronyms to speed up their conversations. Here are a few examples for you:

I have been S from my H for 2 years. We have 3 children, S8, S13, and D16.
I have been Separated from my Husband for 2 years. We have 3 children, Son age 8, Son age 13, Daughter age 16.
  OW = Other Woman   AW  = Adulteress Woman   W  = Wife   OP = other person
  OM  = Other Man   AM  = Adulteress Man   H  = Husband   LBS = Left behind spouse
  D = divorce or daughter   S = son or sister or separated   XW  = ex-wife   GF = Girl Friend
  DIL = daughter-in-law   SIL = Sister-in-law or Son-in-law   XH  = ex-husband   BF = Boy Friend
  MIL = mother-in-law   MLC = Midlife Crisis   PG = Praise God   CS = Child Support
  FIL = father-in-law   MLD = Midlife Dimensions Ministry   PTL = Praise the Lord   ED = Erectile Dysfunction
  w/ = with   w/e = weekend   b/c = because   
  w/o = without   BRB / be right back   LOL / laughing out loud