Midlife Dimensions

www.MIDLIFE.com

Valentine's Day - 2/14/10

6:30 graceful: Cricket: I went ahead and clearly wrote down what I am praying for as far as my H and our M is concerned. So after listening to a very challenging prayer sermon. I am embarking on Operation Save my Marriage with the best weapon in the entire world

6:36 Cricket [Facilitator]: 6:30 graceful: I love this - For me, I prayed for my h's healing, I prayed that the Lord guide me, lead me to His path, give me wisdom & the right words, let His light show through me. I also prayed that the Lord would redirect my H's path to His will & that the Lord show my H the truth and most of all for my H's healing.

 

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Christmas Day – 12/25/09

1: 13 Rosco: I had a mid life crisis I guess, and to put it bluntly I had an affair almost four years ago. College sweetheart. She wanted attention and I was frustrated in my marriage. But had not said anything to her.

 

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Christmas Eve – 12/24/09

6:37 Still: Swanlake, I pray this is true. I am afraid my H will throw us away before he gets to that point. He told me this weekend that he thinks of leaving all the time, but doesn't want to hurt the children. He says he has had only apathy for me for a year.

6:42 Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Still - It might feel like being thrown away when our spouses divorce us, but as we have seen several times, divorce doesn't mean the end, heck even if they marry another person, it isn't the end. As Jim says, it really isn't us they need to leave, they are running from their own emotional scars and even when and if they leave, the mess follows them, because they cannot out run themselves and they are always there. One day they stop running and begin to face the internal issues and the healing can then begin. But until then, it is a heck of a rollercoaster ride.

 

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Christmas Day - 12/25/2008

[12/25 15:01] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Hello everyone, welcome to the special Christmas Day chat, we will be here from 3:00 to 9:00 pm pacific time to offer encouragement and support to one another on the day we remember our Lord's Birthday.

[12/25 15:39] Cricket [Facilitator]: Hi all - I lost track of time yesterday and just barely missed everyone. Hope you all had a good Christmas.

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New Year’s Day – 1/1/2010

7:05 Cricket [Facilitator]: More of Jim's advice – “STAYER AND RUNNER” There are two people involved in the midlife crisis -- one is the person who wants to save it and the other is the one who wants to get away. The "stayer" is the one who needs to be willing to change. The "runner" is looking for excuses to get away and does not want to face any of their problems. So at the beginning of trying to restore the marriage we work with the "stayer" helping them to eliminate any areas that are causing problems. As the "runner" begins to show interest in returning, then we encourage the couple to get involved in marriage counseling so that the problems with both people can be resolved and the marriage can have a high probability of succeeding.

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New Year’s Day – 1/1/2009

12:14 Pualani: I sent my H a text last night hoping that he will find the peace and happiness that he's searching for in 2009. He didn't reply and say that he already is happy, so perhaps he is still searching.

12:26 Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Pualani - typically our spouses will tell us they are happy, doing wonderful, all is great, etc. and they are for a season, but many who have come out of the tunnel say the happiness was very short lived and they were miserable more than happy, but they didn't dare let anyone know. They put on a happy face in an attempt to convince not only us but themselves they did the right thing.

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New Year’s Eve – 12/31/09

6: 49 Yoli: Swan: So regarding the other person, why does my husband go to such lengths to keep me from seeing her? I find this rather strange.

6: 50 Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Yoli - hard to say, my husband did it out of respect for me, he didn't want to hurt me more than he already was by putting her in my face literally.


6: 52 Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Yoli - plus in the cases which the husband is lying to the other person, they really don't want the wife and the adulterous coming face to face and beginning to compare any notes - he will be found out and his lies known.

 

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New Year's Eve - 12/31/08

7:28 Yoli: Swanlake, Hannah: I do have a question. Is it good to reach a point of indifference with your situation and husband? Or is it part of the process?

7:30 Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Yoli - I think it is part of the process after awhile to come to a point when what you have to do daily in your life takes priority over the thoughts and concerns of what your husband is or isn't doing. You still love them, pray for them, but they just aren't every waking thought.

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Christmas Eve - 12/24/08

[12/24 18:02] Brin [Facilitator]: All, Good evening and welcome to Christmas Eve chat room. May God help us to encourage one another during this time.

[12/24 18:07] Brin [Facilitator]: Hello Priscilla. How are you tonight?

[12/24 18:08] Priscilla97: Hi---I'm struggling during this season, but I'm trying to think of these days (the holidays) as just 'another day' on the calendar :-)

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Chat Room Acronyms

Guests often use acronyms to speed up their conversations. Here are a few examples for you:

I have been S from my H for 2 years. We have 3 children, S8, S13, and D16.
I have been Separated from my Husband for 2 years. We have 3 children, Son age 8, Son age 13, Daughter age 16.
  OW = Other Woman   AW  = Adulteress Woman   W  = Wife   OP = other person
  OM  = Other Man   AM  = Adulteress Man   H  = Husband   LBS = Left behind spouse
  D = divorce or daughter   S = son or sister or separated   XW  = ex-wife   GF = Girl Friend
  DIL = daughter-in-law   SIL = Sister-in-law or Son-in-law   XH  = ex-husband   BF = Boy Friend
  MIL = mother-in-law   MLC = Midlife Crisis   PG = Praise God   CS = Child Support
  FIL = father-in-law   MLD = Midlife Dimensions Ministry   PTL = Praise the Lord   ED = Erectile Dysfunction
  w/ = with   w/e = weekend   b/c = because   
  w/o = without   BRB / be right back   LOL / laughing out loud