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New Year's Day 2017

Swan: Cricket - This year the kids didn't hear from my husband for Christmas, he usually at least emails, sends a card and/or will text them, but not this year. My son texted him, but hadn't heard anything back, they got worried so my daughter called the other woman, she told her that her father is fine, he is just being a jerk and ruined Christmas for everyone, they are lucky he left them out of his raging. It is so sad to hear how miserable he is making himself and that he is seemingly stuck on staying in it. I don't know the other woman, don't want to! I don't like her being in our lives, but I do have empathy for her, she is dealing with a very angry man and that has got to not be any fun. I dealt with him stressed, but angry that is an entirely different matter, poor woman.

Cricket: Swan - Wow, how strange not to contact his kids. As you've mentioned to me, sounds like they're seeing his self loathing. I know my H went through a lot of anger, particularly with the first OW. I heard they got physical in their arguments. My H never got that way with me. He actually tended to bottle up emotions rather than lose his temper which wasn't healthy either but he generally would blow, yell a moment and then walk outside to get his temper under control.

 

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January 01, 2017 / Sunday

Swan: Hello everyone and Happy New Year

Cricket: Happy New Year all, hey Swan!

Swan: Hi cricket; hope your new year has been merry.

Cricket: Thanks, I've been at the 1000 Trails RV Park with family, drove home today arriving a short time ago. This year internet connectivity was almost impossible. I brought my jetpack with me but the signal was too weak in the area. In the past, I went to the clubhouse to use their wifi but this year even that was too week. I was able to drive to hilltop about a 1/2 mile away with my jetpack to return email and drove about 45 minutes to a town a couple times where I could get wifi so frustrating. BUT, a very nice visit with my sister & BIL and other family members came up Wed & Thurs to join us.

Swan: Cricket - One would think that the RV Park would invest in WiFi for their campers, but maybe it was meant for you to be disconnected a little so you could focus on family things more.

Cricket: Last night we my sister & BIL and I attended a nice dinner for New Years. We then returned for the NYE party in the Club House where they had a live band. We bring our own snacks and drinks, no charge, just a nice opportunity to dance & bring in the New Year safely with friendly people. My Sis & BIL are so good about getting people out dancing. They'd go up particularly to older single women and get them out dancing. A couple little girls attached themselves to my BIL dancing with him whenever they could. Really cute and nice family event.

Swan: I was here yesterday; no one came into chat at all other than me, so...

Cricket: Swan - No, they have wifi and it has been passable in the past but this year so slow that it took forever to sign into facebook and downloading photos impossible. I put a call into Verizon with a trouble complaint as it has never been as bad as this year. They advertise that they provide wifi in the clubhouse so not good.

Swan: Cricket - I don't know what it is but little girls love to dance and if they have someone who will dance with them, they have found a new best friend.

Cricket: It is an older 1000 Trails RV Park and they've let several things slide, very sad as a beautiful place. I rent a getaway cabin only available to members at a higher level. I had upgraded my sister's membership several years ago to be able to rent this cabin which is like a small home, bedroom, full bath, kitchen, loft and living room. This year, the upholstered chair was so uncomfortable we needed to put a pillow on the seat and another against the back or you couldn't sit in it.

Swan: Cricket - I had a nice quiet night, my son was with his NA group and after the regular meeting, they went to Denny's, and he got home shortly after midnight. My daughter in law and grandson are in Mexico with her family. I have always been a stay at home on New Year's Eve kind of person, so it was fine being alone. I do miss my husband on times like this a little more, but it is what it is and I do have peace, so all is good.

Cricket: Swan - Yes, there were several children there until midnight and my BIL joked that they were getting younger and younger. He also got 3-4 older women to get out and dance. My sister danced a lot with me but encouraged her H to do this as it made the ladies day

Cricket: Swan - Yes, when it turns midnight it another of those reminders of them being missing. The nice thing about the NYE Eve party at the park is that there are many single people there too so I don't feel as awkward when it turns midnight and all the couples are kissing.

Swan: Cricket - Some women will get up and dance with another woman, some just take the dance for and dance alone, but there are those that will not get on the dance floor without a partner, so it is great that your brother in law took on the roll of dance partner for the older ladies, I can imagine they appreciated it very much.

Cricket: Swan - The nice thing about this party is that I Love to dance and we bring lots of snacks and beverages and dance and can walk back home if we wish. It's only a couple blocks distance away and we walked in the area pretty much daily.

Swan: The news says that drunk driving and fatal accidents were down this year, but that there were any at all is still too many.

Cricket: Swan - Yes he does that every year. My sister will grab one of the older men if they're sitting and not dancing and my BIL will grab the wife and often once they get them out there, they keep dancing. They got a couple of young men & women out to dance and they both kept dancing after the initial prodding.

Cricket: Swan - Yes, sadly, I saw several reports of fatalities due to texting or even face timing. Not sure how we will particularly reach kids about dangers of texting. Now we have to worry about driving under the influence of pot and not having tests to enforce it.

Cricket: Swan - I totally agree though, I never want to be out on the street particularly on New Years. Last year my sister & BIL were here and we went to a NYE Eve party at our local Senior Center but they celebrated NYE at East Coast time so we left there at 9 p.m. We stopped by another friend’s party but then came back to my home before midnight.

Swan: Cricket - I am not sure if it is state wide, but down here as of today any cell phone has to be completely hands free, stationed in a holder if it is on in your car, no more holding it at all. It is so sad that we are so attached to phones and we risk lives to be "connected". We are entering a generation that will not even know what a land line is, sad!

Swan: Cricket - I have noticed commercials the past couple months about DUI also applies to buzzed, drugs, medication, etc.

Cricket: Swan - YES, it is state wide but even though the law outlawed cell phone use except with Bluetooth before, you always see people on their phones. I can't count how many times I stopped what I thought was a DUI and they were on their phone. Yes DUI has always applied to being under the influence of meds/drugs, marijuana, etc. However, there are no breath tests for marijuana. In Colorado where it has been legal for a few years, DUI fatalities went up 80+% and were found under influence of pot. Still law enforcement has been losing DUI cases with marijuana frequently due to lack of tests for influence of pot. It's a problem with prescription drugs too. Colorado has had so many problems with DUI and other issues since making it legal, their Governor actually contacted our Governor to warn about the issues but didn't help.

Cricket: Swan - Were there many people in chat Saturday Christmas Eve or NYE?

Swan: Cricket - This year the kids didn't hear from my husband for Christmas, he usually at least emails, sends a card and/or will text them, but not this year. My son texted him, but hadn't heard anything back, they got worried so my daughter called the other woman, she told her that her father is fine, he is just being a jerk and ruined Christmas for everyone, they are lucky he left them out of his raging. It is so sad to hear how miserable he is making himself and that he is seemingly stuck on staying in it. I don't know the other woman, don't want to! I don't like her being in our lives, but I do have empathy for her, she is dealing with a very angry man and that has got to not be any fun. I dealt with him stressed, but angry that is an entirely different matter, poor woman.

Swan: Cricket - No, no one came in to chat on either night, nor was there anyone here on Wednesday. I guess most people had plans this past week.

Cricket: Swan - Wow, how strange not to contact his kids. As you've mentioned to me, sounds like they're seeing his self loathing. I know my H went through a lot of anger, particularly with the first OW. I heard they got physical in their arguments. My H never got that way with me. He actually tended to bottle up emotions rather than lose his temper which wasn't healthy either but he generally would blow, yell a moment and then walk outside to get his temper under control.

Swan: Cricket - my husband is a head in the sand person and when he is raging it is better to be in the "out of mind" category. I am told that he has no filter at all when he is raging, sadly when we were all together Christmas Eve, I heard my son and daughter comparing their father to Donald Trump, that is sad (also a person with no filter).

Cricket: Swan - Supposedly things are okay with my H in this marriage although I've heard that this OW doesn't really treat him well. She has 4 kids, 1 at home, 1 was in college but had come back to live with my H & their mom. One has a granddaughter, young about 2 yrs old and another 3-4 yr old grandson. I see my H & the OW caring for them a lot. My H never wanted kids originally although said he did when he got together with 1st OW who had a d. After they split, he told our best friend he'd never get involved with a woman with kids, didn't want to deal with step kids. Now his life revolves around the OW's kids. Not at all what he dreamt his retirement would be. He wanted to RV around the country, etc.

Cricket: Swan - Yes, very sad comparison. My H read the book Men are Like Mars Women are like Venus. He related to the part in the book that men need to go into their cave and process their anger where women want to talk about it. I got better at giving him space but typical mlcrs, he avoided conflict whenever possible so didn't talk about things that bothered him until they got big and he blew.

Swan: Cricket - The other woman used to call our children when my husband was acting out, she would tell them that they needed to do something about their father. For a period they would call him and ask what was going on, and then finally told her to stop calling them. She told them a few times she was going to call the police if they didn't talk to him, they told her to do what she felt she needed to do. She stopped calling them, never did call the police either. My daughter said she has threatened to have her son's deal with my husband, but that hasn't happened either. They don't like my husband and my husband doesn't like them, they pretty much just don't come around except when he is at work.

Cricket: Swan - How sad for everyone involved. Certainly doesn't sound like a life that anyone would want and you wonder why the OW doesn't leave unless it's just the financial security but even then!

Swan: Cricket - The no filter thing is bad enough, I just hope my husband doesn't sound like an idiot with everything that comes out of his mouth as well. I am very afraid for our country the next four years. Don't get me wrong the alternative wasn't any better, maybe actually worse (I know personally what she was like as First Lady and how badly she treated the Marine's at the White House, it could only be worse is she was the President), basically we were in a lose/lose situation.

Cricket: Swan - I agree with you about concerns about Trump. I did vote for him but only as I too felt that Clinton was worse but it was a lose lose situation. I heard things from people who had worked with her through the years and even when her H was governor of Arkansas. People who lived there talked about corruption then. Our country will need a lot of prayer.

Swan: Cricket - I don't know, it must be financial security, it doesn't seem like there is any other reason for her. Maybe it will get enough for her that she will move onto her fourth husband soon. My husband feels like he has to stay, he owes her because he broke up her second marriage (he won't listen to anyone who reminds him that she was on that dating site long before she even knew him). I don't know where his rock bottom is.

Cricket: Swan - Yes we know why the mlcr stays, typical that they feel responsible and that they deserve what they got but since his OW has been through multiple marriages, you have to wonder why she hasn't moved on.

Swan: Cricket - Yes, he is the lesser of two evils. Corruption is definitely her defining character. When they were in the White House, the things she did and said to the Marine's standing guard were disgusting to say the least. That was for decades a desired duty and a career booster, but for those eight years it was dreaded and ended many careers.

Swan: Cricket - To be honest, she is just about at the move on year, each of her first two marriages lasted around the ten year mark. She is older now and finding someone with a large enough income might be harder.

Cricket: Swan - I'm not surprised and just one more reason I worried about her becoming president, just wish we'd have had a good alternative.

Swan: Cricket - Not to mention my husband has a bad heart and she might just be looking at what she can come out of it with if she buries him rather than divorcing him; don't know that for sure, but just saying.

Cricket: Swan - I wondered if she is worried she isn't young enough or attractive enough to find another replacement. It is sad.

Cricket: Swan - That is a point and the good thing is that our H's are both so stubborn that he's not about to go and let her win this way!

Swan: Cricket - See this is the man I cannot wrap my mind around, the man I was married to would cut her out of everything and most likely left all to our grandson. But from what I have heard she has made comments about things that will be all hers. It is so horrible the way he lives and even though she makes comments like that, what are they doing to each other, why would they go through that. No amount of money is worth it and yes, he is very stubborn and will live longer than she might want or doctors say he should just to spike her.

Swan: We are well past the top of the hour and you just got home, I imagine you have things to take care of, kitties especially, so I think we should close for tonight.

Cricket: Swan - Yes, my H told me things about the first OW and I was shocked he stayed a long as he did. IT was weird what caused him to split with her, it was when he found out she'd been taking advantage of him financially. She'd been claiming the highest deductions she could so they had a huge tax bill; she paid nothing toward my H's home, never helping with any expenses, mortgage, etc. She kept her home and rented it out and pocketed funds. She made a huge salary, more than my H, yet when they got a $30k tax bill, she refused to help. THAT was what did it, not all the other stuff! Amazing.

Cricket: Swan - Yes, I still have some unpacking to do and haven't eaten dinner so should close.

Swan: Night

Cricket: Good night, wishing you a 2017 filled with blessings and the Lord's work

 

Swan: Cricket - This year the kids didn't hear from my husband for Christmas, he usually at least emails, sends a card and/or will text them, but not this year. My son texted him, but hadn't heard anything back, they got worried so my daughter called the other woman, she told her that her father is fine, he is just being a jerk and ruined Christmas for everyone, they are lucky he left them out of his raging. It is so sad to hear how miserable he is making himself and that he is seemingly stuck on staying in it. I don't know the other woman, don't want to! I don't like her being in our lives, but I do have empathy for her, she is dealing with a very angry man and that has got to not be any fun. I dealt with him stressed, but angry that is an entirely different matter, poor woman.

Cricket: Swan - Wow, how strange not to contact his kids. As you've mentioned to me, sounds like they're seeing his self loathing. I know my H went through a lot of anger, particularly with the first OW. I heard they got physical in their arguments. My H never got that way with me. He actually tended to bottle up emotions rather than lose his temper which wasn't healthy either but he generally would blow, yell a moment and then walk outside to get his temper under control.

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Chat Room Acronyms

Guests often use acronyms to speed up their conversations. Here are a few examples for you:

I have been S from my H for 2 years. We have 3 children, S8, S13, and D16.
I have been Separated from my Husband for 2 years. We have 3 children, Son age 8, Son age 13, Daughter age 16.
  OW = Other Woman   AW  = Adulteress Woman   W  = Wife   OP = other person
  OM  = Other Man   AM  = Adulteress Man   H  = Husband   LBS = Left behind spouse
  D = divorce or daughter   S = son or sister or separated   XW  = ex-wife   GF = Girl Friend
  DIL = daughter-in-law   SIL = Sister-in-law or Son-in-law   XH  = ex-husband   BF = Boy Friend
  MIL = mother-in-law   MLC = Midlife Crisis   PG = Praise God   CS = Child Support
  FIL = father-in-law   MLD = Midlife Dimensions Ministry   PTL = Praise the Lord   ED = Erectile Dysfunction
  w/ = with   w/e = weekend   b/c = because   
  w/o = without   BRB / be right back   LOL / laughing out loud