Midlife Dimensions

www.MIDLIFE.com

Father's Day 2016

Cricket: Diamond1 - Something that I learned early (thankfully) was something that can make it hard for our H's to return is when loved ones and friends all know the details and they feel they can't overcome the shame and can't be forgiven. Our loved ones want to protect us and they often insert themselves trying to shake sense into our H's and it tends to make matters worse.

Diamond1: Cricket - thank you for sharing that. I don't share too many details about the situation with my family. My mother is very much concerned because often times, I'm here alone at night or over the weekend. But I'm using the time to draw closer to God and to rediscover His plan for me.

For a list of media recommendations by Midlife Dimensions and our Chat Room Facilitators, please visit at

http://love-wise.com/product.php

or http://astore.amazon.com/midlife-20  
 Amazon sends a donation to the non-profit ministry of Midlife Dimensions anytime an order is placed via our link. We hope you enjoy the various lists of recommendations and thank you for supporting Midlife Dimensions through Amazon.
 

If this Chat Room Session has helped you or ministered to your heart, please consider sponsoring 1 Chat Room a month to help us keep our Chat Rooms active and Archives updated. Each session costs us $30 to host, edit, and post.

We can't do it without your help. Thanks for caring.  Be A Chat Room Sponsor

June 19, 2016 / Sunday

Beth: Good evening

Beth: Good evening HopinginHim. How are you? It has been awhile since I chat with you.

HopinginHim1: Hi Beth! I haven't seen you in so long! I am afraid things have been busy and have kept me away! How are you doing today my dear?

Beth: Glad to have you back with us.

HopinginHim1: Beth - I am doing ok. I find today is a wee bit hard. My H was over for a bit. I think this day is hard on him as well. We are going to celebrate as a family next weekend when my children are finished their exams.

HopinginHim1: Beth - Thanks. I am hoping that the next few months will be a little quieter and allow me time to come to chat more regularly! Have you had the huge heat wave we have been experiencing? I just got back from Florida. It was 44C there (with the humid) Yikes that is hot!

Beth: I have been a little discouraged lately. My sister ended up back in mental all health. I am supposed to visit my children this week and now my H and ow is there. I get there before they leave.

Beth: HopinginHim1 no we never had any heat way. We had a lot of rain and damp weather. Today is best day we had so far this month.

HopinginHim1: Beth - I am sorry to hear about your sister. I hope and pray that this recent admission will bring some help to her and that with whatever treatment she receives will bring some measure of comfort. I can appreciate that you would not wish to arrive when the OW is there. However, I pray that the Lord will work out those details in a way that is of encouragement and protection to you. Would your children be ok with having you have to encounter the OW?

Beth: HopinginHim1 what have you kept yourself busy with? Work?

HopinginHim1: Beth - Busy with work, and renovations at our home and our cottage as well as trying to raise two busy teenagers and also encouraging, supporting and exhorting our eldest S who is away at University but struggling some.

HopinginHim1: Buttons2 - So nice to see you!! How are you today? Any time in the garden?

Cricket: Sorry all, I was watching for chat but also watching the MLB Playoff and missed seeing it turn 6 p.m. Good evening all.

HopinginHim1: Cricket - Hi there!!

Cricket: HopinginHim - Father's Day is hard for mlcrs. It's one of those holidays that really stirs guilt and shame.

HopinginHim1: Cricket - I am embarrassed to say I am not evening sure who is playing in the MLB playoff. The team in my area hasn't done so well the last few years, well many many years!! LOL!

HopinginHim1: Cricket - Yes. I figured that is likely what is happening. I believe that of late he is moving more towards sadness. I think the excitement has worn off and he is beginning to see that all is not what he thought it would be. And he isn't where he thought he would be either.

Beth: HopinginHim I am not sure if they would or not. I do believe it has put them in awkward position. My DIL text one time and asked when I was coming up, sin text to see if he had to pick me up. D text to see if I was staying with her the night I get there. So I get the feeling that they are trying not to let out paths cross.

Cricket: Beth - Trust in the Lord that He will use those times that your H is there, even with the OW. Remember that it tends to bother the OW even more than it bothers them. Regardless, the Lord will cover you and do His work regardless.

Beth: Good evening Cricket and buttons2. Sorry my phone rang. Welcome.

buttons2: hey beth

Cricket: Beth - As far as your sister, you know my thoughts and I agree with Hannah. You have nothing to feel guilty about and part of our growth is learning to let go of things we cannot control and rest in the Lord. Your sister has no reason to try to get well or change if she gets what she wants, whenever she wants while still behaving badly.

Beth: Cricket I feel bit better this evening. I really had it out with the enemy. He is making me so insecure about being in ow' presence.

HopinginHim1: Beth - I suspected that your children will try to manage to ensure that you are not put in an uncomfortable position. And I wholeheartedly agree with Cricket that the Lord can use ALL things to speak to our dear husbands. I know that whatever occurs He will be right there with you, giving you everything you need and working in your H's heart all at the same time!

buttons2: beth I agree with cricket regarding your sister. Hugs and prayers, God will surround you and provide the support you need

Cricket: HopinginHim - That is very typical of mlc and actually a good sign that reality is setting in. (As far as the mlb, I am not a basketball fan except that the Warriors are near me and Stephen Curry is a wonderful role model for kids. My closest friends have been lifelong Warrior Fans so I began following them some this year and definitely in the playoffs)

Beth: Cricket that is basically what nurse told me Thursday when I called. I have not gone in to see her. I don't feel like I should or as she says sometimes “I am not ready yet."

HopinginHim1: Dumbfounded2 - Hi there!! Nice to see you! How has your weekend been?

buttons2: hey diamond1 and dumbfounded2

Diamond1: All - Good evening.

HopinginHim1: Diamond1 - Hello. I haven't seen you here before, but have been away a bit! Just wanted to say "welcome!"

Cricket: Beth - Yes loved ones and family understand that it is uncomfortable for us and it's out of love that they care enough to do what they can to make the visit nice for all involved. Again, that's okay and just shows how much they care. Ultimately, the Lord will take care of everything.

Diamond1: HopinginHim - hello I only started a few weeks ago, but I've found this group so supportive and helpful in what I've been going through.

Cricket: Hey Diamond1 - So glad you joined us tonight. Not sure if you made it Saturday as I had an event to attend but good you're back tonight.

HopinginHim1: Cricket - Ok I am giggling. I have to admit that I am so lacking in knowledge regarding sports that I thought the MLB was baseball!!! I know even less about basketball!!! LOL

Beth: All a question for you. Tonight I noticed a picture D has of her and her father on Facebook. Ow commented “you, son's name and the boys are his pride and joy. His biggest accomplishment “I felt like saying my biggest accomplishment or they would not be accomplished without me" or should I zip the lip and not lower myself. For some reason I feel degraded by ow.

Cricket: Hey Dumbfounded - Good evening.

buttons2: beth really I think you know, you can maybe like the comment.

Beth: Hi dumbfounded and Diamond 1. How are you and welcome?

buttons2: beth to me her comment is not any different than my H saying your children to me or your house sometimes, people do sometimes refer to one person

HopinginHim1: Diamond1 - Well I am so glad you are here. I too have found this group to be a huge support and encouragement and tremendously wise! Can you tell me a little bit about what you are going through, only if you wish!

Cricket: HopinginHim - You are right MLB is baseball. I meant NBA (Basketball - Warrior vs. the Cavaliers). I'm a big SF Giants Baseball Fan and have been since the mid 80's. I've never been a basketball fan except the story behind the Warriors and their players are special. They also give glory to the Lord very openly.

HopinginHim1: Cricket - Ok that is too funny! Well I am glad you are enjoying the games and even more special when there is such open glory to the Lord. They really are role models and that can mean so much to the many youth that watch!!'

Cricket: Beth - Definitely zip the lips. It makes you look needy & insecure. She knows very well that this is something you and your H share. Her comment just makes your h and your children remember you.

buttons2: beth you are feeling raw right now because your emotions have been playing with you, you said you and the enemy had a battle and God has helped prevail again, turn to him and trust that He has your back.

buttons2: beth hugs

Beth: buttons2 it is so tempting to say something. But I know way down deep that is lowering myself.

buttons2: beth tempting yes, needed no, write it down somewhere and then burn it if you need to

Beth: Cricket I am fairly sure I won't make it to chat next Sunday. I will be with my D. I am sure I will be at her place. She is taking me out for dinner.

buttons2: diamond1 how are you doing?

Beth: Buttons2 good idea.

Diamond1: HopinginHim - I've been married nine years, no kids, H and I are in our 40s. In Feb, a week before his 41st birthday, my husband lost his favorite aunt and also began working in a new job. This is a job he feels is beneath him, and that he should be further along in life. His only son (from a previous) relationship turned 18 in April and has graduated from High School. All of these changes, I feel led to his MLC. On April 11, (or 4-11 as I like to call it), he basically told me that our marriage has never had any WOW moments, that I've kept him back from being further along in life, and that I'm not romantic or sexy enough. Since then, he has moved into the guest bedroom, started dressing in hip-hop style clothing, and has a new assortment of friends that I know nothing of.

HopinginHim1: Beth - I think Buttons2 has some great wisdom there!!

Beth: Diamond1 I have not met you before. Tell me a bit about yourself.

buttons2: diamond1 someone else in this group had their H start dressing in Hip Hop or similar type clothing, guess they feel it reflects youth

Beth: Diamond1 I just saw what you told HopinginHim. Yes they do weird things when in MLC.

dumbfounded2: HopinginHim - Doing well. My H also is back in hiding after having such good communication during the month of May. The boys and I met in Dallas this weekend and had a great time. We even took a selfie together and sent it to H with "Happy Fathers Day" on it. I have struggled a bit today as my youngest left for camp, the oldest flew back to Phoenix and this is the first Fathers Day I have had without a father, but God will see me through.

Beth: Buttons2. My H has a piercing in his ear and couple tattoos. They do such weird things.

buttons2: beth yeah most of the time

dumbfounded2: Diamond1 – WOW, MLC script big time, everything is your fault and if it wasn't for you, then I would be in better shape, step back and let him do his worst.

HopinginHim1: Diamond1 - I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through. I am sure that these lovely women have encouraged you that you are not alone in this. As well, the many "triggers" you have described (with the loss of a loved one, a job loss, the realization that our children are growing up, etc.) are all consistent with the start of MLC. So the biggest thing to remember right now is that this has NOTHING to do with you being interesting or sexy or anything of the sort. That is the things they say when they are trying to escape the pain they feel. Hang on. You have come to a great place of support and encouragement and though it may not feel like it at times, this too shall pass. And a lot of these men come to their senses in time.

dumbfounded2: Cricket - Hi. How are you?

Diamond1: Buttons - I'm doing great. On Saturday, H tried to get into an argument with me about a text he sent me on Friday. Apparently, he received a gift basket of fruit from a secret admire. Knowing that I didn't send it to him, he decided to taunt me anyway by texting me to see if I did. I replied, no, then added "Lucky you!" to show I didn't care and that he couldn't get me riled up about the matter. Anyway, on Saturday morning he asked me what was I thinking by sending him that "awkward" text message. He said he discussed it with "boyz" and that they told him my answer was bizarre and that he has a "fake wife." So, I'm a fake wife now, for not engaging in his b.s. (pardon my French)

Beth: HopinginHim1 so true what you said.

Beth: Buttons at least when I text my H to wish him Happy Father's Day and to enjoy his day with the fan

buttons2: diamond1 Ugh, yeah their friends are not much help, at least not the new ones and the old ones try to talk sense into them and they don't want to listen so get upset with them too

dumbfounded2: Diamond1 - He is trying to Bait you into an argument, you did great, act like you have not a care in the world and if he wants to walk naked into town that sounds great too!

HopinginHim1: Dumbfounded2 - I am so sorry. I completely forgot that this would be your first Father's Day without your dad. I am so so sorry. I know how these things are hard. I lost my father 4 years ago and it still hurts, but I manage better each year. I am thrilled that you managed to have a wonderful time with your sons this weekend and I think the picture and greeting for your H was really a fantastic idea!! You really are an incredibly strong woman. I know how these men of ours engage and run for a time. But he is processing and your H seems to do that best on his own. He knows you are there when he is ready.

buttons2: dumbfounded2 hehehehe, I like that

Beth: buttons2 enjoy his day with the family he said thanks. I wished him Happy Birthday yesterday but no reply.

buttons2: beth that's nice and it is wonderful that he's able to spend his B.day and Father's Day with his children, he responded once at least

Cricket: Sorry All - Phone Call and now I'm catching up.

dumbfounded2: HopinginHim - Thanks for thinking I am strong, but I have really had to get into the Word this past week, as I am feeling emotionally weak. I know that I need to practice Faith, not feelings. It is hard when he pulls so close spending time here with me and my youngest son, then basically drops off the radar, but Time is needed. My son told me that one evening around 9 thirty H text him that he was just leaving work and saw a "fox" run across the road and that he loves our son. They saw a fox together 2 years ago when they were riding somewhere and I guess when H sees something like that it reminds him of time spent with our son, but I PTL that he told our son he loves him.

Beth: Buttons2 to be honest our D has not spend a birthday or Father's Day with him in almost 13 yr. I am sure it is longer than that since our son has been with him.

Diamond1: Beth, Hopinginhim - yes, this group has been very supportive. I'm glad I found it early into the MLC because I'm not sure where things would have escalated (or devolved) to if I had continued arguing with him and trying to defend the marriage. I've also been reading Conway's Men In Mid Life, and wow, that book is amazing. I find myself shaking my head as I recognize the H's behaviors as described in the book.

Cricket: dumbfounded2 - I'm doing well, extremely busy and dealing with some stress with my work but what else is new!

buttons2: beth so even more special that they get to do so this year

HopinginHim1: Diamond1 - I remember very well that absolute crazy talk that came out of my H's mouth at the beginning of his MLC. I felt like I was walking on egg shells constantly. These ladies are right. You handled that beautifully. Don't engage in the fight. Let it slide off you and realize that a lot of what they are saying is completely untrue and can't be relied upon anyway. So, look up and let it slide off of you if possible. Keep your eyes on the long term!! Things do improve!

Cricket: Diamond1 - What you describe with your H, turning 41, suffering a loss of a family member and unhappy at work are classic triggers for mlc. It's also classic that they re-write history to blame us, the marriage, etc for their depression and the draw to run & chase the fantasy life.

Cricket: Diamond1 - We say it's like someone plays a script in their head while they sleep as it's so similar to what they all say.

Beth: Diamond1 I am glad you found this group. It is an encouraging group . I am sure I would not have gotten this far except for this group and more so help from the Lord.

HopinginHim1: Diamond1 - So glad you are reading Jim's book. It was a HUGE help to me in the beginning as well. It really puts things in to perspective and helps to guide us as we travel this path (willingly or not!) But there is so much help in knowing how to handle all this stuff coming at us that seems to come from out of nowhere and can throw us if we don't know to expect it!

Diamond1: Cricket - I know! It's some weird type of programming. I've noticed also that the husband likes to stir up argument just before he's heading out the door, so as to not allow me to get a word in edgewise. He sleeps in the guest bedroom during the week, but on the weekend he goes somewhere else. Where? I'm not sure. And I don't want to ask him.

dumbfounded2: Diamond1 - My H also turned 42 and our oldest graduated high school, H was passed over many times for a promotion that he felt he deserved and a younger coworker died of cancer all within a few months of Bomb drop, his behavior and the things he would say were outrageous and it took me a while to stop the crazy and get my bearings so I could see something was "wrong" with my H. I thought he may have a brain tumor due to some of the awful things he would say, but it does pass after they blow their life up and see that they are making a big mess, it just takes time. The more you can let go, the better you will be able to handle his tantrums and he WILL ramp them up when you won't justify his behavior by acting crazy too.

Cricket: dumbfounded2 -I agree with HopinginHim, it is totally understandable that this Father's Day is difficult and remembering your Dad. Mother's Day was so hard for several years after I lost my Mom to cancer. Love the idea of you taking a selfie with your sons and sending it to your H with the message. Nice!

Cricket: Diamond1 - Exactly, we've joked about it being like the Body Snatchers, someone took our H and left a clone programmed with all the same mlc mantra.

HopinginHim1: Dumbfounded2 - Believe me I completely understand where you are at and the need to dig deep into the Word to regain your equilibrium and strength. I am at exactly the same place. I said to my friend the other day that I manage fine, except when my hopes get raised (because of actions or things said) and then they get dashed (with the pulling back, the withdrawing, etc) and that it’s the crashing that hurts the hardest. So I completely understand. I am very thankful that your H is reaching out to your S! That is wonderful and a huge praise! And so like the Lord to use circumstances or other things to continually draw our spouses back to reality.

dumbfounded2: Cricket – Yes, it was a good pic, but I fretted about sending it and wondered how H would take it, but did it anyway, he has not acknowledged it so far. The last I heard was on 6/6/ when I text him and told him I hoped his work travel was going well and he responded with busy, tiring and pouring rain.

buttons2: All H and I were super busy today and my eyes are tired. Hugs and prayers. Night

Cricket: dumbfounded2 - It will mean a lot that you sent it but it is also a reminder of what he is missing. It really was the right thing and it will plant a seed there for him. As you said, he needs time... time to find his way out of the tunnel. It's like he's stuck in a dark maze making wrong turns along the way but he's trying and you're doing a great job of staying connected but giving him space when he needs it too. He knows he is loved, he just has to find a way to feel worthy.

HopinginHim1: Buttons2 - I hope you can get some rest tonight. Praying for a peace filled week for you!!

Cricket: buttons2 - Hope you had a good day too thought for FD.

Diamond1: Dumbfounded2 - the blowing up of the life, how bad does it get? So far, my husband has attempted to play basketball with his boyz and sprained his ankle (mind you, as tall as my H is, I have never seen him play basketball), he has bit his tongue while eating takeout in his car as to avoid eating the meal I cooked, and just last week he tried ironing his polo for work and ended up burning almost an inch of flesh just below his ribcage. I'm cracking up as I write this, because it should be obvious to him by now how helpless he is without me.

Beth: Cricket I am going to say good night and go. I am so tired. I have to work in morning and so much to do before I. Leave. Good night all and God bless.

HopinginHim1: Dumbfounded2 - I absolutely love what Cricket said. You H knows he is loved and is just trying to find a way to feel worthy of coming home. You really are doing an amazing job of loving him and yet giving him the space he needs when he needs it.

buttons2: diamond1 my H went overseas and the first two times he came back quite badly injured, did not wake him up and did not stop him from going again twice more since

Cricket: Diamond1 - It's almost like they subconsciously sabotage themselves knowing how much we did for them.

buttons2: hopinginhim1 and cricket thank you, we had a good day working in the house getting kitchen clean and getting some yard work done. cricket praying that the stress at work will ease soon, remember food and fluids!!

buttons2: HUGS and prayers for all night

HopinginHim1: Buttons2 - So glad to hear! Praying for you my friend!

Cricket: Thanks buttons2

HopinginHim1: Dumbfounded2 - I am making my way right now through a good book I found called "Waiting on God". So far it is very good. Just highlights the fact that waiting is tough and can fill us with doubts and discouragement. But we can totally trust the Lord in the midst of all of this and KNOW that He will bring about His perfect plan. I have found it helpful in my recent struggle. I have also spent time each morning in a Psalm and have found that a huge help as well. Big hugs to you. I am right there with you!

dumbfounded2: Diamond1-They just do stupid stuff, the biggest being getting into an affair, but don't eat right, drink, lower their standards and just live life like they just don't care.

Diamond1: Hopinginhim - Is Waiting on God about trials in marriage?

Diamond1: Dumbfounded2 - I come from a large family, and so far, I've been able to shelter them a lot of the stuff he's done or said to me (not that it's their business). But as we don't have any kids, and it's just me and him, no one else is witnessing the behaviors.

HopinginHim1: Diamond1 - No it is more of a general book about various things that we are waiting on God for answers for. I just found it helpful in that I feel like I am waiting on the Lord to bring my marriage situation to its restoration. It helps me to take my eyes off the "current" and to look more with my faith than with my feelings and to focus on the truth that the Lord is working in all of this in changing me to be a stronger woman and work in my H's life as well.

Cricket: Diamond1 - It is important to remember that the Lord is working in this but it is in his timing. We tend to focus on what the Lord needs to do in our H's and miss that there are things He wants to do in us too. Not because it's our fault but because there is more he wants to do in us and through us. I realized that I'd let my H become my Idol and I had lost the relationship I'd had with the Lord. I also had issues from my past that I hadn't healed from and there were strengths and talents the Lord wanted to show me I had. I now give testimonies about although this journey has been painful, the Lord has done so much in me and through me.

Diamond1: HopingInHim1 - it sounds interesting. Will add it to my reading list.

Cricket: Diamond - I had stepped back all through my career to let my H advance, I gave up promotions and felt my H was better suited and more talented in his career but I now see that I wasn't giving myself enough credit. Since this started I've accomplished things I'd have never thought possible and it is all through the Lord. He just needed a 2 x 4 to get my attention and this journey was what it took.

HopinginHim1: Diamond1 - Another book that I would strongly recommend is a book by Kay Arthur called "As Silver Refined". I don't know if you are familiar with Kay Arthur but I think of all the books I have read this helped me the most. As Cricket said so well, I have learned that I am not a helpless victim here. There are many things that the Lord is showing me that I needed to see. I too had my H as my idol and would turn to him for all things. The Lord is showing me that He is the one to be my strength, my help and my comfort. My faith has grown tremendously through this difficulty.

Cricket: Diamond1 - Something that I learned early (thankfully) was something that can make it hard for our H's to return is when loved ones and friends all know the details and they feel they can't overcome the shame and can't be forgiven. Our loved ones want to protect us and they often insert themselves trying to shake sense into our H's and it tends to make matters worse.

Diamond1: Cricket - thank you for sharing that. I don't share too many details about the situation with my family. My mother is very much concerned because often times, I'm here alone at night or over the weekend. But I'm using the time to draw closer to God and to rediscover His plan for me.

Diamond1: Cricket - I should never have built my husband up to be an idol/icon in my life.

Cricket: Diamond - Many of have done that, most if not all of us. We didn't realize it but it's also part of what we feel is expected of us as women. It is not and it means we put our H's ahead of the Lord. Not healthy for either of us.

Diamond1: Hopinginhim - Kay Arthur sounds familiar. Will research her books. Right now, I'm all about learning and growing through this process!

Cricket: Diamond - The Beth Moore Bible Study groups I participated in were wonderful and so so helpful. Kay Arthur did one with Beth Moore and she is very good. The Lord is working in us so value this time through the pain and stress, there is a purpose. We have many here who are restored and say that their marriage is even better now than before mlc.

HopinginHim1: Diamond1 - Don't be too hard on yourself. I know many of us here have done the same thing. Often we are married to very successful and driven men and it’s easy to let them lead as they do it so well. However, sometimes the Lord uses these things to allow us to see that we have taken Him off the throne and put our spouses there. Whatever He is teaching us, I know that He is using this, in love, to deepen and strengthen our faith and to show us all that HE can be to us.

HopinginHim1: Diamond1 - Good for you! I know that I read like a mad woman when this first hit! I still read a lot. I find it very helpful!

Cricket: Diamond - Did I share the three things Jim Conway said most men complain about with you yet - or has someone else shared this?

Diamond1: Cricket - no you haven't, neither has anyone else.

Cricket: The three areas that midlife men complain about. 1. Midlife Men complain that their wives are naggy, controlling, and often boss them around like children (sometimes men do act like children). 2. Midlife Men complain that their wives are overweight, out of shape, and do not care about physical appearance. Men are very visual, & when their wife looks good to them, that translates that she is interested in sex. A high priority in a man’s life is regular, exciting sex for which he doesn’t have to beg. 3. Midlife Men complain that their wives have not had a new thought since they got married. They complain that their wives are not growing intellectually or in their careers, which makes them very dependent and clingy -- which is often negative to a midlife man. (From Jim Conway)

Diamond1: Cricket - wow, that's so spot on. The sad part about all of this (from a purely physical stand point), is that I have lost a lot of weight since last November and I am smaller than when we first married. My wedding ring slides off my ring finger easily.

Cricket: Diamond - Not all of these applied to me but I can definitely see that I tend to be nurturing and thought that showed love but I'd remind my H to take vitamins, drink water, and pull out shirts & ties that I thought he looked nice in. I was trying to be super wife but my H felt smothered and later admitted those feelings. We also fell into routines.

Diamond1: Cricket - all this "cuteness" and no one to share it with

HopinginHim1: Cricket and Diamond1 - Well on that note. I think I should sign off. I am not the greatest at getting up early to exercise but am better at night. So, I am heading off to do a quick bit of cycling and then off to bed! So glad to have met you Diamond1. I will be praying that the Lord will give you tremendous hope and peace over these next days and weeks. May He quickly calm the storm that is currently raging and in it, may you see His tremendous glory and might and His tremendous love for you.

Diamond1: Cricket and HopinginHim - thank you both for your insights and testimonies. I'm so glad I found this chat group.

Cricket: Diamond - Yes - MLC is the fastest weight loss program we can find. I was a cop so I worked out a lot so weight wasn't really an issue but when this hit, I got too skinny. I did update my dress and things though that made me feel more confident. Most here had children (I had not) so of course we're not as thin and trim as we'd been and with kids, more tired.

HopinginHim1: Diamond1 - I quickly lost a ton of weight as well (about 30 lbs) and was less than my marriage weight for awhile. I am now at a healthy weight but still need to work to keep it there!!! LOL!!

Cricket: Diamond - We're so glad you joined us too. One day you will be reaching out to encourage others and sharing your success.

Diamond1: Cricket - Praise God! Thanks again. And have a great night.

Cricket: All - It is after time to close though. Have a great night. The Lord really does have this, rest in Him.

HopinginHim1: Cricket and Diamond1 - Night to you both!! Hugs and prayers!

Cricket: HopinginHim - Yes, I exercise at night too. I'm not a morning person and don't enjoy waking up to exercise.

Cricket: Hugs and prayer back at you HopinginHim and Diamond1

HopinginHim1: Cricket - So glad to hear that! If I exercise in the morning I end up falling asleep around 9:30 am! And THAT does not work well in my schedule!!! LOL!

Cricket: HopinginHim - People think I'm crazy but it works for me and it helps fill the nights when I'm home alone.

HopinginHim1: Cricket - Well if you are crazy then I am crazy right along with you!! :0 Night my dear. Have a super week!

 

Cricket: Diamond1 - Something that I learned early (thankfully) was something that can make it hard for our H's to return is when loved ones and friends all know the details and they feel they can't overcome the shame and can't be forgiven. Our loved ones want to protect us and they often insert themselves trying to shake sense into our H's and it tends to make matters worse.

Diamond1: Cricket - thank you for sharing that. I don't share too many details about the situation with my family. My mother is very much concerned because often times, I'm here alone at night or over the weekend. But I'm using the time to draw closer to God and to rediscover His plan for me.

Register to read more...

Chat Room Acronyms

Guests often use acronyms to speed up their conversations. Here are a few examples for you:

I have been S from my H for 2 years. We have 3 children, S8, S13, and D16.
I have been Separated from my Husband for 2 years. We have 3 children, Son age 8, Son age 13, Daughter age 16.
  OW = Other Woman   AW  = Adulteress Woman   W  = Wife   OP = other person
  OM  = Other Man   AM  = Adulteress Man   H  = Husband   LBS = Left behind spouse
  D = divorce or daughter   S = son or sister or separated   XW  = ex-wife   GF = Girl Friend
  DIL = daughter-in-law   SIL = Sister-in-law or Son-in-law   XH  = ex-husband   BF = Boy Friend
  MIL = mother-in-law   MLC = Midlife Crisis   PG = Praise God   CS = Child Support
  FIL = father-in-law   MLD = Midlife Dimensions Ministry   PTL = Praise the Lord   ED = Erectile Dysfunction
  w/ = with   w/e = weekend   b/c = because   
  w/o = without   BRB / be right back   LOL / laughing out loud